Whats wrong with me?

[MMN]

Hello to all. I'm having some problems here. I feel so guilty and bad for the way I have been acting. I have just been so easily angered lately. Friday night my husband and I went to a marriage retreat. It was over at 9:00 and we were to return at 8:30 the next morning. We (I) fought with him all day Friday before we left. I was acting stupid crazy, hitting him and all. So we did go Friday night and Sat. morning we went back and we left after an hour because I was still just beside myself. I know God is not pleased with me at all!!! I don't know why I do things like this. I often feel like its not me even though it is. I am a christian but something in me must not be right. I want to do good and I do for a while then I act dumb again. I want to have the endurance to do what is right. Please give me some advice and pray for me.

 

[singpeace]

The first step - want to get rid of it , and the key to that is to see it for what it is: sin in God's eyes. Jesus warned, "Anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment" (Matthew 5:22).

Recognize the toll anger and bitterness take on our lives. The Bible says, "An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins" (Proverbs 29:22). It also says, "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; …it leads only to evil" (Psalm 37:8). Never underestimate anger's destructive power.

The second step - confess it to God, and seek His forgiveness and help. On the cross Christ took upon Himself every sin you ever committed—including your anger. God in His love and mercy not only promises to forgive our anger, but to cleanse it from our lives if we will let Him. No matter its cause, commit your anger to God, and ask Him to replace it with the Holy Spirit's fruit of "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23). Notice: Anger is the exact opposite of every one of these. Anger flees when the Spirit's fruit fills our hearts.

Then take practical steps to deal with your anger. Avoid those situations when you might be more susceptible, and when you can't, pray about them in advance and ask God to help you. When you fail, be quick to seek not only God’s forgiveness, but also the forgiveness of those you hurt. If you have been harboring anger or bitterness or jealousy in your heart toward someone—a parent, an ex-spouse, a boss—hand it over to Christ, and ask Him to help you let it go.

In addition, discover the transforming power of forgiving others. Jesus said, "Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you" (Luke 6:28). You can't stay angry if you obey this command. Deliberately act toward others the way you should, even if you don't feel like it; changing our behavior eventually changes our emotions. The Bible says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

 

[MMN]

Thank you so much for your reply. I was up into the morning hours just praying and talking to God. He told me that when I don't let anger go it opens the door for satan and his demons to torrment me. I believed it but what made it more real was that he told me to turn to Ephesians and when I did I was just blown away. What I read was in Chapter 4 vs. 26-32. It was saying don't let the sun go down on your anger - do not give the devil a foothold. He also told me that I had unforgiveness toward some people. The last verse then talked about unforgiveness. I prayed and asked God to help me forgive. I thought back over how many millions of times I asked God to forgive me even after I had committed the same sin over and over and he did. The crazy thing being that I have still held these feeling of unforgiveness because these people hurt me and dissapointed me. Whats sad is they haven't done a tenth to me compared to what I've done to God. Please pray for me that I can fully forgive not just say I have because thats the Christian thing to do. I want the fruits of the spirt in my life. I'm so thankful that God remembers were just mere dust but that he loves us anyway. One day I'm going to be past all of this. I know I'm learning walk and still fall sometimes. I want God to use me.

 

[singpeace]

MMN,

Isn't it crazy how God is speaking directly to you? He definitely heard your prayers.

You're right about forgiving others, and how silly it is to hold onto offenses while we beg God to forgive ours. I know personally that forgiving them will change your life. When we harbor unforgiveness toward others, we see our world through a fog and we don't even know it. When the fog lifts, it's incredible how clear so many things become.

I agree with you that the enemy has been taking up residence in your presence and oppressing you.

I used a few scriptures and put a prayer together that may be useful to you as you build your new arsenal of weapons for battle. I am convinced that if you are diligent in your prayers, in resisting the enemy's anger, and in humbling yourself before God while forgiving others and loving them; you will be completely free from this torment in little time. I am thankful God brought you here. He always knows how to take care of everything. He is so good.


Father, just as your Word says in Ephesians, I let go of all bitternes, indignation, wrath, resentment, quarreling, and abusive language. I banish it from my presence with all malice in the name of Jesus. I exercise foresight and I watch myself that I do not fall back from or fail to secure your Grace. No root of resentment will contaminate me. Just as your Word says in Galatians, I have the fruit of the Spirit which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I freely humble myself before You God, and I resist the enemy. He has fled from me, Lord and I praise you for that. I thank you and I worship you. Let me decrease and Jesus increase, and let the name of the Lord be glorified in Jesus name. Amen.

 

[savedfromdistruction]

Hello to all. I'm having some problems here. I feel so guilty and bad for the way I have been acting. I have just been so easily angered lately. Friday night my husband and I went to a marriage retreat. It was over at 9:00 and we were to return at 8:30 the next morning. We (I) fought with him all day Friday before we left. I was acting stupid crazy, hitting him and all. So we did go Friday night and Sat. morning we went back and we left after an hour because I was still just beside myself. I know God is not pleased with me at all!!! I don't know why I do things like this. I often feel like its not me even though it is. I am a christian but something in me must not be right. I want to do good and I do for a while then I act dumb again. I want to have the endurance to do what is right. Please give me some advice and pray for me.

Your actions are actually criminal by your own statements (spousal abuse) and you could end up in jail if you do not fix this. Actually you should already have been there for this. If your husband had been beating on you he should had been put in jail and the same applies to the woman. You do have serious problems and you need some private counseling. I strongly suggest that you seriously seek out someone to talk to as this is not something to just shirk off or hope it will go away.
You said you are a Christian. Go here and listen to these messages and be sure;
http://www.gerald285.com/index.php?p=1_5_Salvation-Tests

 

[joey_downunder]

MMN - have you apologized sincerely to your husband and asked for his forgiveness? Have you asked God's forgiveness for your pride and anger and asked Him to help you not give into the temptation of letting your bad temper control your behaviour any more?

Of course mere words are not enough, you've got to follow through with totally changed behaviour as well. I agree with savedfromdistruction that if it was your husband doing it to you, then you probably would have reported him for abuse by now.

If you know you need christian counselling to work through any major issues from the past then do that but make sure you take full personal responsibility for your actions and don't use e.g. difficult family history to excuse your current sinning.

 

[Softly]

MMN, the fact that you admit to that behavior is a great first step in changing. Most of the time when a person acts out in an abusive way, whether it is physical or emotional, their pride or denial makes these bad behaviors escalate. You are on the right path with this in my opinion, Good job!

 

[Hupomone10]

Hello to all. I'm having some problems here. I feel so guilty and bad for the way I have been acting. I have just been so easily angered lately. Friday night my husband and I went to a marriage retreat. It was over at 9:00 and we were to return at 8:30 the next morning. We (I) fought with him all day Friday before we left. I was acting stupid crazy, hitting him and all. So we did go Friday night and Sat. morning we went back and we left after an hour because I was still just beside myself. I know God is not pleased with me at all!!! I don't know why I do things like this. I often feel like its not me even though it is. I am a christian but something in me must not be right. I want to do good and I do for a while then I act dumb again. I want to have the endurance to do what is right. Please give me some advice and pray for me.

my heart goes out to you, dear one.

Please go read the post onthe Baptist forum list immediatly below yours. It's about a wife with a husband whose behavior is not a lot diffreent from yours.

I will write more later, I just received bad news about my father and am a little distracted. The thread I mentioned, "I don't know what to do anymore" could be what your spouse would write, or if the sexes were reversed, surely what he as a wife might feel.

God bless,
and there are answers, but it's gonna take some work,

H.

 

[MichaelKelley]

Hello to all. I'm having some problems here. I feel so guilty and bad for the way I have been acting. I have just been so easily angered lately. Friday night my husband and I went to a marriage retreat. It was over at 9:00 and we were to return at 8:30 the next morning. We (I) fought with him all day Friday before we left. I was acting stupid crazy, hitting him and all. So we did go Friday night and Sat. morning we went back and we left after an hour because I was still just beside myself. I know God is not pleased with me at all!!! I don't know why I do things like this. I often feel like its not me even though it is. I am a christian but something in me must not be right. I want to do good and I do for a while then I act dumb again. I want to have the endurance to do what is right. Please give me some advice and pray for me.

If you have Daystar, try tuning into Marriage Today with Jimmy and Karen Evans. And, get some of their books too. Also, try getting the book the Love Dare and watching the movie Fireproof. Here's a sample that I've found on YouTube: Building an Emotionally Healthy Marriage

 

[paul becke]

MMN, the fact that you admit to that behavior is a great first step in changing. Most of the time when a person acts out in an abusive way, whether it is physical or emotional, their pride or denial makes these bad behaviors escalate. You are on the right path with this in my opinion, Good job!

Spot on, Softly!

 

[If Not For Grace]

The crazy thing being that I have still held these feeling of unforgiveness because these people hurt me and dissapointed me.

If they had not, they would not need forgiveness, now would they?

Forgiveness is for YOU, it's about letting go of the hurt. & like anything else, it
takes practice before you get good at it--I see you making progress, don't you?