Whats wrong with me?

[xXMeant2LiveXx]

HIya

I've been dpressed for over 3 years now..im bulimic a self harmer...etc
I just want to know what is wrong with...i've been this way for so long.
Sometimes im ok, or i can be really hyper and then he next i become really down, depressed and angry...
im so unpredictable...my mood changes dramatically!
I get triggered my small things or sometimes its for no reason...i can't stand it
coz even if i'm ok, suddenly i become so down and suicidal
i've tried to kill myself a few times...each time it was unexpected...i'd have thoughts but when i act upon them...its out of the blue
Even though i have people saying talk to me, i'd help...i just can't i want to be alone, and i isolate myself...

i dont want them to care...its annoying, its my life
i just want to get away from myself...i cant stand me...im so confused...

yesterday i threw a show at my sister and got a knife out at my brother..just to threaten him...
i'm losing it...i was ok in the morning..i was depressed but i didnt show much, until later!
i dunno

 

[jess144]

HIya

I've been dpressed for over 3 years now..im bulimic a self harmer...etc
I just want to know what is wrong with...i've been this way for so long.
Sometimes im ok, or i can be really hyper and then he next i become really down, depressed and angry...
im so unpredictable...my mood changes dramatically!
I get triggered my small things or sometimes its for no reason...i can't stand it
coz even if i'm ok, suddenly i become so down and suicidal
i've tried to kill myself a few times...each time it was unexpected...i'd have thoughts but when i act upon them...its out of the blue
Even though i have people saying talk to me, i'd help...i just can't i want to be alone, and i isolate myself...

i dont want them to care...its annoying, its my life
i just want to get away from myself...i cant stand me...im so confused...

yesterday i threw a show at my sister and got a knife out at my brother..just to threaten him...
i'm losing it...i was ok in the morning..i was depressed but i didnt show much, until later!
i dunno

Have you talked to your parents about this? I was bulimic for five years (ages 13-18) and still struggle every now and then with it. I know how miserable it can be. When I finally reached out and told my friends and family I was able to get help. I know that that saved me a lot of pain because these kind of illnesses (eating disorders, that is) are really really difficult to heal the longer you have them. Would you feel comfortable talking to your parents or a school counselor so that you can get some help??

 

[GustheMule]

You haven't completely given up or you wouldn't have posted here. Its common for depressed people not to want help. But you should seek it. Because your actions can hurt and ruin the lives of others. I know you care about this.
Besides finding help --I would advise a Biblical local church or a psychologist who is open to God and h is healing-- you should look to Jesus. In the Gospels, jesus was always healing peopkle who had serious problems. I don't know if your problems have to do with demons or not, but read the stories about Jesus driving out demons and ask him for help. Pray and believe he can do it. His resurrection over the powers of death prove it. Jesus is Victor! Pray and believe he can help you. If you don't have a demon, realize how simple it will be for Jesus to help you because your problem is smaller than someone who actually does have one. Even the demons obey Him!

 

[xXMeant2LiveXx]

i feel like i'm falling apart slowly
i did go and see a counsellor but haven't been in a while...i have all these exams..
i feel so irratated and frustrated...
i just keep crying...
im scared,i feel so alone, so hopeless as if no good will ever come out of me...
why can't i just be normal... please i really need help...

 

[allen_the_music_man]

Nothing's wrong with you, Gabbi. I promise...*smiles bright*

 

[GustheMule]

i feel like i'm falling apart slowly
i did go and see a counsellor but haven't been in a while...i have all these exams..
i feel so irratated and frustrated...
i just keep crying...
im scared,i feel so alone, so hopeless as if no good will ever come out of me...
why can't i just be normal... please i really need help...

Well youlive an ocean away, there's not much I can do but I know that the ALL KNOWING ALL SEEING ALL CARING ONE, Jesus Christ is in England right now. When he began his ministry the first thing he said was this:

‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, and recovery of sight to the blind, To set free those who are downtrodden, to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord.'

Guess what he's still doing it. He does it every day. He's there with you watching you right now, full of compassion and pity. I think that this passage says that you were one of those who Jesus came for, don't you? I think you should ask Him to begin to take care of you. After all, that's what he said he came for.


You said that you are afraid you will never amount to anything. Well without Jesus you won't. But with the Savior: immortality, glory, and honor (Romans 2.) Jesus is still alive. Right now you're like a sheep without a shepherd. Trust Jesus to be your Good Shepherd and your Healer.

 

[JDDCH]

Hi M2L

Hang in there. I suppose they've checked your blood sugar for diabetes? That'll cause those types of emotional swings. Another thing is bipolarism. If they haven't checked you for that, ask them about it. Simple medications will help you balance out your emotional state and really help you out. Basically, talk to your counselor(s) and work with them and together you'll find a way to help you stay on an even keel.

There's nothing wrong with you that can't be regulated. You're not a mutant from another planet or anything, you just need a little help. ( Prayer is always a good thing too )

Do try to stay away from the weaponry. Especially when you're angry. Even if you only want to use it to scare someone and don't plan to use it, it only takes a split second for an accident to turn into an irreversible nightmare. You don't want to go down that road, so please, please work on that. Tell yourself no.

It's going to take effort and tears but you'll make it through these years. Just stay the course and don't give up. You'll be in my prayers.

Keep us posted.

 

[Protinus]

M2L: Hi! I'm glad you're reaching out here!! I would agree with JDDCH and suggest a full medical evaluation if it is possible and if you have access to care. And if you have urges and questions about hurting yourself or others...please come here and express yourself. Promote yourself and others to visit your blog...challenge others to understand you, you're worth. You must obviously start a relationship with your priest or minister right away and start trying to not only help yourself, but to try to help others (if only going through the motions)...I promise you, it sounds like you should be concentrating on yourself (and you deserve so much!) but sometimes, by helping others, WE HELP OURSELVES!!

I will say many prayers for you!

 

[xXMeant2LiveXx]

Hiya everyone
thanx so much for the advice...
i will go and talk to my counselor about it coz i think it might be bipolarism...im not sure
i've been up and down recently, today however i'm ok, not too bad..
thanx alot for the advice

 

[Julianne]

There's nothing wrong with you Gabbi

I'll keep you in my prayers

 

[Gwen'sMom]

I don't have a whole lot of advice for you because I'm going through depression/anxiety and I cut myself. But, just knowing that God does love me and has a plan for my life is very uplifting. One day I will find out what it is. I find that writing a journal helps me rid myself of some sadness. I am just starting to notice the little things again like feeling happy when I see a bird fly or when I feel a cool breeze. Try to find one little thing that makes you happy and hold it close. Blessings to you