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I truly wish I could say I am a prayer warrior. I do pray, not as often or as regularly as I should though. I must be honest and say that I do pray more often when it's a time of urgent need. I know God doesn't operate like that, He want us to come to Him in the good and the bad. The point is to have a relationship with Him. I know God listens to me whenever I pray, but I know He desires to have constant fellowship with us. Why can't I do this??!! Why is it that sometimes when I know I should pray, I can't (or shall I say dont allow myself to). I realize that God is all knowing, there is nothing I can hide from Him. Yet, I know that the main reason I don't pray as often as I should is that I know that when I come before God I must confess my sin to Him. Sometimes I just don't want to come before God and admit my wrong - crazy, since I realize He knows it before I tell Him. It's almost as if I convince myself that that 'tiny little sin' isn't that big of a deal to me, but I know that God doesn't approve, so I avoid Him. Why do I do that? I wish I didn't do that! It's the wall of pride I built up for so long I guess.
Over the last few weeks I know God has specifically allowed certain things to happen in my life, which should cause be to seek Him. I have been intermittently but not as much as I should. I recently lost my job - this was a huge blow to my pride, needless to say, a huge pressure on my family. We are forced to try and remanage our finances with an uncertain income. As much as my husband keeps telling me that I should pray (and read my Bible) more as he has found a sense of peace in the situation, I worry. I worry way too much!! I hate the fact that I needlessly loose sleep over worry. Why can't I put it in the hands of God?! That's not to say I don't need to make any physical efforts for anything. I know I can't just lay back and pray that God will answer my prayers in the way and timing that I want. Ive only been without a job for 2 ½ weeks now, but it seems like forever. Ive always prided myself in the fact that Ive never had difficulty in finding a job. All I can think about it the what ifs. What if we cant pay the rent we cant afford milk for our child we cant pay our loan we cant pay our hydro. WHY CAN I NOT PUT THIS IN GODS HANDS?! I know that if/when I get I job Ill thank Him for providing. Whats with all this pride I have?
I realize there are MANY people who have life a whole lot worse than I do and I am truly sympathetic. Why then am I not thankful for what I have which is a wonderful husband who loves and respects me, a gorgeous little 2 year old angel (check out her picture), great supportive parents, health, safety, and a God who loves me and desires to have fellowship with me ME of all people. Why is it I want more?!
Lord God,
I thank you for your unfailing love! Though I have been so unfaithful to you, you remain. I thank you for welcoming me back with open arms each time I seek you. Your love is amazing! God, I ask that you would break down the walls I have built around my heart those walls that keep me from seeking you. I ask that you would bury my pride and make me humble - you know this is what is most keeping me from you. Help me to be slow to anger and quick to admit my faults. Please help me dear Lord as I endeavor to find a new job. Help me to work hard, and stick to my guns on certain issues. I pray Lord that I would constantly seek to do your will. Thank you for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me. Help me to be constantly reminded of those blessings. God, I pray for those who are struggling and less fortunate than I, give them a sense of peace. Lord, you are so good. I know that you will provide help me to not worry, but plan and be wise. I know you always answer my prayers help me to be patient as I know your answers and timing are not always what I expect but ALWAYS in your will for my good. Thank you Lord for listening and for always holding me in your hand!
Amen.
Over the last few weeks I know God has specifically allowed certain things to happen in my life, which should cause be to seek Him. I have been intermittently but not as much as I should. I recently lost my job - this was a huge blow to my pride, needless to say, a huge pressure on my family. We are forced to try and remanage our finances with an uncertain income. As much as my husband keeps telling me that I should pray (and read my Bible) more as he has found a sense of peace in the situation, I worry. I worry way too much!! I hate the fact that I needlessly loose sleep over worry. Why can't I put it in the hands of God?! That's not to say I don't need to make any physical efforts for anything. I know I can't just lay back and pray that God will answer my prayers in the way and timing that I want. Ive only been without a job for 2 ½ weeks now, but it seems like forever. Ive always prided myself in the fact that Ive never had difficulty in finding a job. All I can think about it the what ifs. What if we cant pay the rent we cant afford milk for our child we cant pay our loan we cant pay our hydro. WHY CAN I NOT PUT THIS IN GODS HANDS?! I know that if/when I get I job Ill thank Him for providing. Whats with all this pride I have?
I realize there are MANY people who have life a whole lot worse than I do and I am truly sympathetic. Why then am I not thankful for what I have which is a wonderful husband who loves and respects me, a gorgeous little 2 year old angel (check out her picture), great supportive parents, health, safety, and a God who loves me and desires to have fellowship with me ME of all people. Why is it I want more?!
Lord God,
I thank you for your unfailing love! Though I have been so unfaithful to you, you remain. I thank you for welcoming me back with open arms each time I seek you. Your love is amazing! God, I ask that you would break down the walls I have built around my heart those walls that keep me from seeking you. I ask that you would bury my pride and make me humble - you know this is what is most keeping me from you. Help me to be slow to anger and quick to admit my faults. Please help me dear Lord as I endeavor to find a new job. Help me to work hard, and stick to my guns on certain issues. I pray Lord that I would constantly seek to do your will. Thank you for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me. Help me to be constantly reminded of those blessings. God, I pray for those who are struggling and less fortunate than I, give them a sense of peace. Lord, you are so good. I know that you will provide help me to not worry, but plan and be wise. I know you always answer my prayers help me to be patient as I know your answers and timing are not always what I expect but ALWAYS in your will for my good. Thank you Lord for listening and for always holding me in your hand!
Amen.
Recently, my spiritual well was quite dry, no matter how much i tried to read the bible and pray, nothing changed, but God took action. Through an event i was able to come back to him, that barrier that had me all dried up was suddenly removed. I hope this would encourage you.
