What's up with this??

[PACSUN]

Hi there!

I don't exactly know what I am going to post, but I feel like I need some people to talk to about this relationship I am in! Alright... I met him here on Christian Forums. We hit it off really well, talked about possibly moving to be closer to one another (he lives in Colorado, and I live here in Georgia); we met over the summer for the first time - he came here for a week, it was PERFECT!!! He asked my dad that week if he could court me, so we were courting. He came back to visit me a month later and stayed for one month before school started back up. Well, that month wasn't so good. It was still fun, and I enjoyed hanging out with him, but it wasn't the same as the first week. Well, after he left we were still talking just like we had since we met, but something started changing. I think it was within myself. I wasn't feeling very good about us having to be apart for another year and a half until he could move here to Georgia. I mean, I would only get to see him 2 or 3 times per year!! Well, I think that made me start feeling differently about the situation, and it's almost like I gave up on it. We ended up breaking up and getting back together a couple of times, and right now, we are broken up.

Well, he and I are still talking, and he told me one day that he heard God tell him to leave Colorado. Well, he had been talking with his parents about it all, and his parents were praying, and he was praying, and I had my friends praying for him to see what God's will was. Well, just this Sunday, he told me what God had confirmed. God told him to move here to Georgia. His parents confirmed it with him, and my friends are confirming it with him that it is what God wants. So, he's moving here this December after he is out of school this semester. I am going out to visit him with a one way ticket on December 10, and we are taking a road trip across the country before Christmas. (It takes 3 days to get back to Georgia driving.) So anyway -- my feelings have now been rejuvenated it seems! I feel like I did that first week he was here... I feel like I want to be in a courtship again with him... While we were broken up, I had been praying to God for specifics that I want in my husband, and I told God that he must live here. And a couple of weeks later, the guy I had been courting and my best friend is moving here!

I think the long distance thing just isn't for me. My last relationship was long distance, which was full of problems (not all related to the distance) - I was in that relationship for almost 3 years, and 2/3 of that time, it was long distance. Then I meet this AMAZING guy on here (CF), and then WE'RE doing the long distance thing! We have done that on and off now for 10 months now! I feel like I am just sick of LDR's - and I want for my boyfriend (if God has one for me) to be here with me in the same state and hopefully close enough so we could see one another easily! I definitely think it's AWESOME those of you who can do the LDR's - I think I was just burnt out. But now he's moving here!! THIS DECEMBER!!! I feel like we will start courting again, and I would love that... I am definitely wanting to take it all slow though since we had those breakups over the past 10 months... I want to know for sure that God wants us to be together if we are to get together. I don't want to do it out of my own will... I don't want to be wishy-washy with it all. I want to be very committed and devoted to the relationship if it happens.

Anyone want to talk about it with me?

Thank you for reading this,
:: Krista ::

 

[flounder7786]

mmm...i am sorry...the LD thing is tough. For me, it was well worth it...i love my boyfriend more than anything in the world...and we are planning on getting married in 2 summers so it wasnt soo much an issue for me...you just have to decide if its worth your relationship with that person...you know...and then go from there. I'll keep you in my prayers

 

[hugnluvable]

Hi there.... hmmm yeah the LDR thing is tough. I'm in one at the moment, although my boyfy is only 3 hours up the road/train track! It is hard, whats harder is that this time two years ago we were living in the same house and this time last year we were living about 30 minutes away from each other...

We were both thinking about breaking it off because of the long distance, but it was too hard to be not in a relationship with each other and we both felt that love will find a way even in the most difficult situations. So needless to say we're still together now.

This guy is wanting to move nearer to you, he knows it right... great! Thats a sure sign that you'll be seeing alot more of him - either as a friend or as a S/O. However, make sure that God's motives for him moving down are for that reason, because it could mean something else. I'm not wishing that... just warning you to be aware. And I do pray Lord that You bless these guys in this situation with new experiences, new relationships and new encounters that YOU want to provide.

Love,hugs and prayers
Erica
xxx

 

[hugnluvable]

I also agree with Blue Impulse's point!

 

[PACSUN]

You know... I was thinking of the breakups as God telling us to not be in a courtship at that point in time. I mean, we have a TON of growing spiritually and emotionally to do before we could be in a courtship that was totally glorifying to God. That is what we want out of the courtship if God tells us to court after he moves here.

I know that God is the one who told him to come here to Georgia. While he was patiently waiting for God's answer on whether he should move or not, I was trying to be as neutral to the situation as possible so he could hear God's will for his life, and not my own wants and desires. He would ask me what I thought and felt about all of it. I would tell him what I thought, but not how I felt. I even told him that I wasn't going to express how I felt until God had told him what to do.

I truly feel that the reason we were having the breakups was because of the distance and because God didn't want us together at that point in time. I also feel like sometimes the devil will attack a God glorifying relationship so the people in the relationship will think it is not meant to be. I mean, sometimes it was like we were in a war fighting against the devil! Sometimes he comes harder at the relationship than others, and I feel like the devil was attacking us in certain ways during the past few months. Since he and I both have a lot of growing to do before we can be in a relationship together (I personally need to concentrate fully on my relationship with Christ, and putting His words into action), I think that God will tell us if He wants us in a courtship together. Until then, I think we are going to continue to be best friends, growing in Christ together, and waiting patiently on the Lord to let us know what His will for our lives is.

Blue Impulse - I completely agree with you about communication. That is a very good thing to be doing. He and I talked about that a couple of nights ago. One of the things we did while we were going through that rough time was we stopped working on our communication. So it was basically non-existant. We were having misunderstandings, and taking them to another level because we didn't try to talk them through like we used to. I definitely know that communication is key, as my previous relationship (3 year one I mentioned before), we stopped communicating together and working on how to communicate effectively to one another, and well... that relationship has since ended. I don't want that to happen with this relationship! He means a LOT to me...

 

[catch22]

HELLO!

I thought I'd stop in and offer my assessment of the situation! Hope you don't mind Krista! But anyway, I also agree that the distance was primarily to blame for the breakups and also God's way at the time of telling us that we needed to stay focused on Him and His plan rather than the smaller story we had brought ourselves into. In retrospect, I'm very thankful for the time we had to make God number one in our lives again. In the long run, if God intends for us to get married, that faith in Him is what will sustain us more than anything else.

I'm really looking forward to actually being able to hang out with my best friend regularly! We're going to have so much fun! What's more exciting to me though is that we'll be able to grow in our relationships with Christ together! Also, just to echo your sentiments, I too feel a strong desire to begin our courtship again if it's God's will! We'll definatley have to keep that in our prayers. We still need an answer to our question! heheh

Thanks for the advice so far everyone! Keep it coming! It's very much appreciated

 

[Lbiagm]

I suggest prayer.

 

[PACSUN]

Prayer is a GREAT idea! I think praying together and seperately is an awesome thing to do to reveal God's will for our lives.

Joe, thank you for coming in here and reading this (Folks, Joe [Catch22] is the wonderful guy I'm talking about in my posts.) You know, it's really hard to stay focused on God's larger story instead of the small stories of our lives. God wants for us to be focused on accepting His invitation into His huge story, and give up the leading role in our own small stories... That's hard for me! But now that I realize that is what I'm doing, I can progress to where God wants me to be!

In the long run, if God intends for us to get married, that faith in Him is what will sustain us more than anything else.

That is completely true, and I definitely want to get to be the person God wants me to be for my husband. I think I lost track of that somewhere in the mix of things. I am getting back on track though! It's really important to work daily on my relationship with Christ... if I stop doing that, I end up taking a wrong turn that strays me from God's path...

Anyone else have any thoughts?

In His Amazing Love,
:: Krista ::

 

[PACSUN]

I guess no one wants to respond back anymore...
well shucks

 

[catch22]

I know...I wonder why no one else is responding? I know it's a lot to read, but C'MON PEOPLE! Hheheh

 

[Maeyken]

To me, it sounds as though the two of you have a fairly realistic view of the situation, and are listening carefully for God's guidance. I wish you all the best.

Have patience and allow the relationship to grow. Remember, God's timing, not ours.

 

[catch22]

That's definatley a lesson we've had to learn along the way. When we first met, we just wanted to rocket ahead in our relationship....that's probably natural when those initial feelings of infatuation are running high. Now though, we've learned patience and learned to allow God's plan to direct our lives rather than our own. I pray that we'll continue to be mindful of that.

 

[PACSUN]

Yea, I totally agree!!! Patience is key -- and I think another reason for the rough times we were going through was because we did rush into things, and we didn't wait on God's timing! We took control of it, and look what happened. We've now had time to re-think everything, and focus on What really matters --> GOD!!!

Thank you so much Maeyken!! I wonder if this thread is over? *lol*

 

[catch22]

Not quite yet Krista. You forgot the best part ....and they lived happily ever after

THE END

 

[PACSUN]

Aww! Now that was cute!!! I guess The End!