What's the Difference...

[Froggie4ever]

betweem emotionally/verbally abusing someone and just being a little mean, spiteful, and condescending?

 

[unkern]

Verbal abuse can affect a persons mental state drastically. I was verbally abuse and it took awhile to change.

 

[heidi140]

Emotional abuse of a child is commonly defined as a pattern of behavior by parents or caregivers that can seriously interfere with a child’s cognitive, emotional, psychological or social development.

What is truly harmful, according to James Garbarino, a national expert on emotional abuse, is the persistent, chronic pattern that “erodes and corrodes a child”

From what I've read, I think part of the key to defining verbal/emotional abuse is that it is a pattern, as opposed to an isolated incident. The second piece seems to be that it has a negative impact on the victim. That still leaves it pretty open, but to me, the impact is the most important piece....if the behavior has caused serious pain or negative issues, then it is likely to be emotional abuse. And just from what I've seen, if someone is questioning whether behavior is emotional abuse, it probably is. It seems like people who have been emotionally abused have an extremely difficult time with being able to say that they have been abused - the abuse just messes with perceptions I think.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I struggle with this question too. I've seen an awful lot of vicious, destructive verbal and emotional abuse passed off as "Just teasing. What's the matter, can't you take a joke?"

 

[Froggie4ever]

I'm still not sure if my situation qaulifies as "emotional abuse", so I guess I'll just explain it. There's this woman/college girl, about ten years old than me. I don't live with her but I pretty much see her every day so it is a constant thing. For the most part she doesn't insult me outright but does it in a more subtle way so that it still makes me feel awful but she looks like the good guy. Like how she constantly insults my parents and my upbringing, saying all kinds of horrible things about them around me, but she phrases it to make it sound like she's just "concerned about my well-being". She accuses them of being selfish, brainwashers and religious zealots all the time. She's constantly making nasty comments about the state I live in, which isn't so bad unless you realize how patriotic I am about where I live. But that's just a small example of how she belittles or demeans everything I am proud of or find value in.

Everything I'm proud of, whether it's a good report card or a short story I wrote, cartoon I drew or a video I filmed, she finds some way to make me feel that it wasn't good enough; that I'm not good enough. And she does all this in front of other people, often times turning them against me as well. But then I don't really care about how she insults me, it's that she insults my family and upbringing that drives me crazy.

Just looking back on the situation, I don't think it's emotional abuse; I think she's just a jerk. But I still don't know how to handle it.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I think it *is* emotional abuse, and that's the reason she *is* a jerk. I'm sorry you're going through this. I wish I had some constructive advice for you, but I'm not sure what I can say. Have you told your parents?

 

[Bamboo_Chicken]

betweem emotionally/verbally abusing someone and just being a little mean, spiteful, and condescending?

To be honest, I'm not sure if there's a difference if the affect is the same. If being just a little mean, spiteful and condescending leaves you feeling worthless and depressed, I would consider it emotional abuse as well. Nobody has the right to make you feel inferior, no matter how they dress it up when they do it.