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What would you do ? (ANSWER ANONYMOUSLY)

  • REFER HIM BACK TO HIS PARENTS.

  • REFER HIM TO COUNSELOR/MINISTER.

  • INFORM/ENCOURAGE HIM BEHIND HIS PARENTS BACK.

  • WARN HIM ABOUT STRANGERS ONLINE.

  • REFER HIM TO A GAY WEBSITE.

  • CROSS THE LINE WITH THE KID.


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Bianca87

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as a teenager myself i wouldn't find anything wrong to advice an other teen , but i would tell him not to discuss this delicate issue online, since is both impersonal and dangerous.
if he described his parents as Christ-like, people who would understand and help him understand without prejudice, i'd tell him to go to them, but not all parents are like that. if he'd tell me that his parents have prejudices or would send him to one of those torture camps to turn kids str8 (child abuse), i'd advice him to go talk to a counselor or an analyst, to help him understand his orientation and the relationship with his parents.
 
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ChaliceThunder

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And why is that? Do parents have the right to choke their child's God-geven sexual orientation out of them?
 
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ChaliceThunder

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I agree. I have many homosexual friends who are afraid to come out to their parents. Several of them are afraid it could go so far as to be kicked out of the house for just CONFUSION over their sexuality, let alone being near positive.
Or worse yet: the parents could relegate their children to one of those phony ex-gay ministries...
 
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Der Alte

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[SIZE=-1]And why is that? Do parents have the right to choke their child's God-geven sexual orientation out of them?[/SIZE]

Assuming that any action taken by a parent, would be "chok[ing] their child's God-given sexual orientation out of them" while total strangers are free to make any suggestions, recommendations they want.
 
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BAFRIEND

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Assuming that any action taken by a parent, would be "chok[ing] their child's God-given sexual orientation out of them" while total strangers are free to make any suggestions, recommendations they want.
Great point. What if the kid ran away and told Uberlutheran he got kicked out. What a nightmare it would be for the parents to find out their kid was living with a pair of homosexual partners. What would they be expected to think ? I think where I live it is called third degree kidknapping (harboring a child without parental permission).
Do parents have the right to choke their child's God-geven sexual orientation out of them?
God never gave anyone anyone a confused sexual orientation. The kid said he was "confused" . Why take it upon yourself to ruin his life by recruiting him ?

The last time I watched Dateline, I discovered just how helping some adults were willing to be.

If this kid could not even decide for himself now what he likes what makes you think you can (un)straighten him out.
 
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BAFRIEND

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as a teenager myself i wouldn't find anything wrong to advice an other teen , but i would tell him not to discuss this delicate issue online, since is both impersonal and dangerous.

BIANCA,
I agree with you that there is nothing wrong with giving peer advice. But there are people out their who are not peers who consider themselves to be role models who do more harm than good when it comes to giving youth advice (homosexuals, Planned Parenthood, etc.). When it comes between husband and wife or children and parents, unless there is evidence of serious abuse, it is always better to send them back to each other, in my experience.

I was listening to a progrram yesterday on te radio where someone made the comment that people living in mortal sin have their judgements clouded by their perpetual lifestyles of sin. That is why it is dangerous when leading an illicit lifestyle to go around helping confused youngsters who are vulnerable.
 
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Der Alte

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[SIZE=-1]Or worse yet: the parents could relegate their children to one of those phony ex-gay ministries[/SIZE]...

Who should the parents relegate their childen to, the APA?

In Appalachia, in many churches, there is a quaint practice known as “snake handling.” Those who participate in this, believe that if their faith is great enough they can “take up the serpent” and, even if bitten, it will not harm them. Although this is an exclusively religious practice, it is illegal under state laws.

In the western U.S. there are religious groups which practice plural marriage. This “religious” practice has also been declared illegal under U.S. and state laws.

Two exclusively religious practices, which have been prohibited by law because of the “potential harm” they may do.

In 1997, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) issued a resolution stating, in part, “the . . . potential for harm of therapies that seek to reduce or eliminate same-gender sexual orientation.” This was followed, in 1999, by a similar joint “document” issued by the AAP, ACA, AASA, AFT, APsyA, ASHA, IAH, NASP, NASW., and NEA.
Whereas the ethics, efficacy, benefits, and potential for harm of therapies that seek to reduce or eliminate same-gender sexual orientation are under extensive debate in the professional literature and the popular media (Davison, 1991; Haldeman, 1994; Wall Street Journal, 1997);

In 1999, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), American Counseling Association (ACA), American Association of School Administrators (AASA), American Federation of Teachers (AFT), American Psychological Association (APsyA), American School Health Association (ASHA), Interfaith Alliance Foundation (IAH), National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), National Association of Social Workers (NASW) and National Education Association (NEA) jointly issued a document titled: "Just the facts about sexual orientation."[sup]3[/sup] They:
. . .
Condemned reparative therapy as potentially harmful and of little or no effectiveness​
This seems impressive, but the opinions of educators, administrators, theologians, etc., who are not mental health professionals, such as the American Association of School Administrators, American Federation of Teachers, American School Health Association, Interfaith Alliance Foundation, and National Education Association are no more authoritative regarding the subject of faith based homosexual ministries, than the opinions of the National Rifle Association or National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing.

It has been thirty four years since homosexuality was removed from the APA Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), and it has been ten years since the APA resolution, referenced above. In all that time, how much, if any, actual, vs. alleged “potential” harm, by faith based treatment programs, has ever been studied or documented, by any qualified mental health professional or organization? I submit there have been zero studies, and zero documentation.

If all those hundreds, perhaps thousands, of APA “mental health professionals,” including, arguendo, the signatories of the 1999 joint paper, are truly concerned about the “potential harm,” as alleged, why, in the past 10 – 30 years, have NONE of them ever conducted a professional study to document and evaluate any such alleged harm?

I have seen several studies by “professionals,” with PhDs behind their names, posted here, all touted as “proof” that homosexuality is genetic, inborn, inherited, unchangeable, etc., etc., etc. If there is so much “potential harm” in faith based ministries and programs, as alleged, why haven’t the APA, and other, “experts” taken aggressive, positive legal steps to have those programs declared unlawful, by the courts, as was done with other “potentially harmful” religious practices, i.e. “snake handling” and “plural marriage

It would seem that “professionals,” will spend millions trying to “prove” homosexuality, undoubtedly including their own, is inherited, genetic, unchangeable, etc. but have not, will not spend one dollar studying any alleged “potential harm” to homosexuals seeking treatment, “paying” scant lip service to it in obscure non-binding “resolutions.” Their actions, rather lack thereof, clearly show how little the APA, and all the other “professional” organizations, really care about the alleged “potential harm.”

That raises the question why, would professional mental health organizations and practitioners be opposed to alternate treatment programs, alleging these programs are potentially harmful, yet after 10-30 years never supporting those claims? Several answers present. The first is, perhaps many of those “professionals” are not Christian and are opposed to any Christian ministry, whether it is related to mental health or not.

The $econd an$wer i$ al$o a very real po$$ibility. P$ychatri$t$ and P$ychologi$t$ charge large fee$, a$ much a$ $100 +, per hour. I $uppo$e it could be “potentially harmful” if a P$ychiatri$t or P$ychologi$t wa$ forced to mi$$ a few weekly golf $e$$ion$, becau$e $ome potential patient$ are $eeking help from relatively inexpen$ive faith based ministries.
 
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ChaliceThunder

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...when in actuality it is UberLute providing the welcome and hospitality of the Christ.

God never gave anyone anyone a confused sexual orientation. The kid said he was "confused" . Why take it upon yourself to ruin his life by recruiting him ?

Recruiting? Who said anything about recruiting? The issue is providing refuge (this is known as a safe place) from parents who, at this point, might be neglectful or dangerous to their young son.

The last time I watched Dateline, I discovered just how helping some adults were willing to be.
Of course, most of them were straight.

If this kid could not even decide for himself now what he likes what makes you think you can (un)straighten him out.

I never said I could make him unconfused. I would definitely be a listening presence, and would offer advice if asked. (Over the last 20 years at least a dozen boys, and 2 girls, have come to me with honest questions about sexuality and orientation. Most of these were from church - and their parents suggested that they talk to me. I listened and, if they asked, I gave input or shared my own story.)
 
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ChaliceThunder

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Assuming that any action taken by a parent, would be "chok[ing] their child's God-given sexual orientation out of them" while total strangers are free to make any suggestions, recommendations they want.
The OP states that the boy is afraid to tell his parents, who are "very religious."

It is a reasonable assumption that they might possibly not act in their son's best interest.
 
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Bianca87

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i don't understand how homesexuals would automatically be bad advice givers and i don't know about planned parenthood, but i've been told it's mainly a birth control center.
anyways what i meant is that if i understood that the parents would be the kind of people who would react in a way that could harm him, i'd advice him not to go to them, without claiming to be a role model for this or anything.
 
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UberLutheran

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So tell me — let's assume the kid has self-identified as gay, and the parents have kicked him out of the house.

Would you just leave him on the street and hand him a Scripture verse — something like Romans 1:26-32 or 1 Corinthians 5:9-11 or 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, and then give thanks to God that "it's not your problem"?


Don't you know that homosexual recruiting offices are usually found next to Army recruiting offices, in a building downtown?


And all gay people are exactly like the perps on Dateline. Every single one of them. Right?
 
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BAFRIEND

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Insuficient poll options...

refer him to appropriate counsellors AND warn him about strangers on the net AND reasure him that whaever he's feeling, thats OK
Both of those are in the poll. I thought about allowing multiple answers or combing answers as, like you, many have done in your posts.

I decided it was best just to allow pollsters to vote on what they felt would be the personal best single answer and save the rest for posts, otherwise the poll would have been too lengthy, keep it simple,
 
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BAFRIEND

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So tell me — let's assume the kid has self-identified as gay, and the parents have kicked him out of the house.

let me just state in answer to some of the other items I left out of the quote:

The last time I watched Dateline, I discovered just how helping some adults were willing to be.
Where did it say they were all gay ? Actually, I have always been offended that we use the term "Statuatory Rape" when a male has sex with an teenage (<18) female and we call it "molestation" when a male has sex with an teenage male (<18>). I consider both cases molestation and if society did also maybe we would not have so many underage pregnant women.

As for the kid being kicked out, I would recommend a relatives house, a peer friend's home, or lodging with someone you know who is straight/ straight family. That is just for your own protection, because, like I said, what is going to be thought of such an arrangement ?

That is just reality. You could be set up or some relative might take matters into their own hands, you just never know.

If you cannot get the parents permission in writing, then yes, you are better off leaving the kid on his own.
 
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Der Alte

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[SIZE=-1]How can a website be gay?[/SIZE]

It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out the person meant a gay "oriented/promoting" website. Can we have a little reality here?
 
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Markus6

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It does not take a rocket scientist to figure out the person meant a gay "oriented/promoting" website. Can we have a little reality here?
I guess I would have figured that out if I wasn't a rocket scientist then.

As I'm so out of touch with reality could you explain what "cross the line with the kid" is supposed to mean .
 
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Der Alte

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[SIZE=-1]I guess I would have figured that out if I wasn't a rocket scientist then.

As I'm so out of touch with reality could you explain what "cross the line with the kid" is supposed to mean[/SIZE]
.

Context? When they were small I often had to lead my sons by the hand.
 
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BAFRIEND

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As I'm so out of touch with reality could you explain what "cross the line with the kid" is supposed to mean

email the kid back asking if he has a WEB cam, helping him set up a PayPal account, paying him to take his shirt off, arranging a pesonal meeting at McDonalds...
 
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Polycarp1

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Hey, Robert, what if I were to tell the kid, that the psychological origins of being gay are still mostly unexplained, that he deserves to be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity, that people need to avoid showing him signs of unjust discrimination, that he should not feel guilt for what he cannot change but at age 14 he should strive for chastity, and above all that God's grace is freely given to him, despite what anyone else might have to say.

How would that answer suit you?
 
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