What Would YOU Do If . . .?

[KCKID]

I always feel compelled to ask a question of those who are particularly Bible-militant in their stand against homosexuality. Now, we DO know that there are many homosexual people of both genders in the world. This cannot be denied. Furthermore, these good folks are the product of a heterosexual union at least ...whether or not one or other of the parents might be 'gay' or 'bi' or 'straight'. Moreover, any number of these good folks are also the product of Christian parents. Yep, even Christians produce homosexual kids! For instance, I have a good friend (a homosexual) whose parents are devoutly Christian ...whatever that might mean to them.

So, my question is simply: What would YOU do if your son/daughter came to you and said, "Um (clears throat), mom/dad ...I'm 'gay'?

Obviously, anyone is welcome to respond to the question but I'm particularly interested in responses from some of the 'hardline' anti-'gay' members of the forum. And, please don't say that such a thing is highly improbable simply because you ARE a hardliner. Nature apparently doesn't discriminate between Christian/nonChristian parents when it comes to sexual orientation.

 

[angellica]

I'd ask them if they want help (whatever that might be) to overcome this and if so, great. If not, they do not live under my roof. Basically, the same thing I'd do if they told me they were an alcoholic or a drug addict. Sorry if that is rude to you, but it's the truth.

 

[KCKID]

I'd ask them if they want help (whatever that might be) to overcome this and if so, great. If not, they do not live under my roof. Basically, the same thing I'd do if they told me they were an alcoholic or a drug addict. Sorry if that is rude to you, but it's the truth.

For now ...thanks for your (honest) post.

 

[allhart]

I say we as parents don't own our children or control them. We are to teach them and if you have done your Christian obligation. I think you can come to a respectable out lay of what is respectably allowed in your house. Other than that they should know who you are and where you stand; therefore, if there go to turning their body over to an unnatural behavior that they should understand. You don't want to be subjected to that life style. That doesn't change the unconditional love you have for them or for God...If they want to talk about their spiritual journey and what you know to be real! The door is always open.

 

[angellica]

I say we as parents don't own our children or control them. We are to teach them and if you have done your Christian obligation. I think you can come to a respectable out lay of what is respectably allowed in your house. Other than that they should know who you are and where you stand; therefore, if there go to turning their body over to an unnatural behavior that they should understand. You don't want to be subjected to that life style. That doesn't change the unconditional love you have for them or for God...If they want to talk about their spiritual journey and what you know to be real! The door is always open.

I agree , especially with the last part.

 

[KCKID]

Why have you both jumped to the conclusion that "I'm 'gay'" is tantamount to "I'm having sex"?

 

[angellica]

Why have you both jumped to the conclusion that "I'm 'gay'" is tantamount to "I'm having sex"?

I didn't..

 

[allhart]

Why have you both jumped to the conclusion that "I'm 'gay'" is tantamount to "I'm having sex"?

I haven't done or said no such thing. I THINK YOU ARE TRYING TO PUT ONE OVER ON US. Being a little shady

 

[KCKID]

I didn't..

But, didn't you say that the child doesn't live under your roof as long as they admit to being 'gay' and don't accept your offer of 'help'? You mean to say that you kicked them out simply for telling you that they are 'gay'? Isn't that somewhat harsh?

 

[angellica]

But, didn't you say that the child doesn't live under your roof as long as they admit to being 'gay' and don't accept your offer of 'help'? You mean to say that you kicked them out simply for telling you that they are 'gay'? Isn't that somewhat harsh?

I don't know if it's harsh or not, but I'm not gonna walk around on eggshells about it.

 

[angellica]

I haven't done or said no such thing. I THINK YOU ARE TRYING TO PUT ONE OVER ON US. Being a little shady

 

[JustMeSee]

So, my question is simply: What would YOU do if your son/daughter came to you and said, "Um (clears throat), mom/dad ...I'm 'gay'?

I would send them to a psychiatrist or reassignment camp.

 

[KCKID]

I haven't done or said no such thing. I THINK YOU ARE TRYING TO PUT ONE OVER ON US. Being a little shady

But, didn't you say that you can come to a respectable outlay of what is allowed in your house and also that they (your child) has turned their body over to unnatural behavior? Doesn't that more than imply that they are having sex?

All your child has done thus far is tell you that they are 'gay'. Everything else you say is imagined.

I am not trying to put one over on you. I simply asked a question.

 

[angellica]

But, didn't you say that you can come to a respectable outlay of what is allowed in your house and also that they (your child) has turned their body over to unnatural behavior? Doesn't that more than imply that they are having sex?

All your child has done thus far is tell you that they are 'gay'. Everything else you say is imagined.

I am not trying to put one over on you. I simply asked a question.

Unnatural behavior can refer to two guys or two girls cuddling or doing anything else romantic like that together and it doesn't have to include sex.

 

[KCKID]

I would send them to a psychiatrist or reassignment camp.

But, the psychiatrist would probably determine that they are perfectly 'normal' ...for them.

I have no idea what a reassignment camp is.

 

[gwenmead]

So, my question is simply: What would YOU do if your son/daughter came to you and said, "Um (clears throat), mom/dad ...I'm 'gay'?

Well - if I may offer what I probably would've done, back in the day when I was still a Christian...

For most of my years as a Christian I was pretty hardline literalist about the Bible. I could certainly be arrogant about it, but was never terribly inclined towards cruelty or being mean-spirited. At the time I knew next to nothing about homosexuality, either.

So I probably would've been heartbroken about it. I probably would've struggled to understand it. I probably would've prayed long and hard about it, and prayed long and hard for my child. And I probably would've had some good hard fights, or arguments, or discussions with them.

But in the end I would have treated them with love, compassion, and kindness. I would not have kicked them out, locked them up, shamed them, or otherwise rejected them. And ultimately it probably would have led to a major crisis of faith, because I have always believed that the best parents value their children above all other things. I would've found my parental love and devotion to my child incompatible with Jesus' words from Luke 14. So I would've had a hard time with that.

But really, it's as hypothetical as the OP (which is fine), because it never happened. I never had children, I eventually learned a lot about GLBT people (through the very good graces of a dear friend), and the crisis of faith came in a very different way, for very different reasons.

Just knowing who I am and how I was and how I think, though, that's probably what would've happened, back in the day.

 

[allhart]

But, didn't you say that the child doesn't live under your roof as long as they admit to being 'gay' and don't accept your offer of 'help'? You mean to say that you kicked them out simply for telling you that they are 'gay'? Isn't that somewhat harsh?

No, I said, I don't want to be subjected to the life style. I wouldn't kick them out. Nor does this mean I wouldn't be hurt by their choice. I would be in variable conversations with them trying to understand. There would be a lot of discussion on what would be acceptable in my life. On that life style, that I don't understand. I wouldn't be condemning or condoning the behavior nor could I stop loving them....This would be a journey unto itself...I would be looking to get info. on the health of my kids to help prevent the effects of it all. Sometimes the consequences are to high.

 

[KCKID]

Unnatural behavior can refer to two guys or two girls cuddling or doing anything else romantic like that together and it doesn't have to include sex.

So, you kicked out your child for cuddling and/or being romantic with someone of the same gender? YOU were offended so you showed them the door? Well, okay. I DID ask.

 

[JustMeSee]

But, the psychiatrist would probably determine that they are perfectly 'normal' ...for them.

I have no idea what a reassignment camp is.

I would send them to a Christian psychiatrist who would tell them that such behavior is an abomination.

 

[angellica]

So, you kicked out your child for cuddling and/or being romantic with someone of the same gender? YOU were offended so you showed them the door? Well, okay. I DID ask.

No. I kick them out after they tell me they are gay and do not want mental or spiritual help with it. In other words, if they choose to live what I believe is a sinful lifestyle, they will not do it in my house.