What Would You Do If Your Child Came Up To You, One Day And Told You He/She Is Gay??

[IslandBreeze]

I would never disown my children, but I would not allow their boyfriend/girlfriend in my home or to take part in any family activities. I would always love my child, but I would not support their decisions or actions.

 

[Mother Vashti]

I'd take my baby aside and ask them to tell mommy about the worst thing that ever happened to them.

And something is gonna come out.

When loved ones tell you they are homosexual, it is a strong indication that things are not as they seem. There has been some emotional or sexual abuse that has occurred in the family, right under one's nose.

 

[Jenna]

Who says he doesn't until we straighten up and fly right? Hell isn't as empty as you may think.

That is correct. There are times in the bible where the Lord has given His people over to their sins. He was willing to accept them again, but after they had turned away from their idolatry (which homosexuality is).

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

If you've ever read a Beverly Johnson book (Stick a geranium in your hat and be happy, those books), she talks about how she felt when she discovered her son was gay.

My feelings are the same as her. I would love them just as much as I did beforehand, and I would be friendly towards their partner, however, I would be putting the SAME guidelines on them that I would any heterosexual child of mine.

1) If they come to stay - separate bedrooms.
2) No OTT affection (passionate kisses, snuggling on the couch, etc).
3) No showering together/being the bathroom at the same time (ie one showers, one cleans teeth, etc).

I would also, for the sake of my grandma, ask them to respect her, and refrain from any affection - my grandma is the same when it comes to my unmarried relatives with their heterosexual partners, so the rule would be the same. Ok, Grandma may be a bit 'conservative', but still, she does deserve that respect.

Sasch

 

[Mother Vashti]

If they said they were gay acted on it I would disown them.

papa don't take no mess

 

[HeatherJay]

I would be no more upset to find out my child was homosexual than I would be to find out that they were cheating on their spouse or being heterosexually promiscuous (sp?). And, I, personally, see no difference Biblically in God's view of sexual sins. They're all bad...although it's easier to condemn those who are tempted by the sins that you yourself would never even consider.

It's great that some are so sure about who's going to hell and who isn't. I don't even pretend to know what's going on in another's heart. What do I know? I'm just a sinner myself. But, I'm very thankful that God is merciful and forgiving...personally, I think he expects the same from us.

 

[Anti-Fear]

I would explain to them they're not gay. That some people have confusing feelings and that its something that people must control.

Would I love them? yes
Would I tell them its ok to be gay? no
Would I expect them not to act on their homosexuality? yes
Would I love them the same if they disregard whats right? no, I would probably love them less.

I cannot simply accept my child just because they're my child, I have to look at what they do as adults.

 

[HeatherJay]

I would explain to them they're not gay. That some people have confusing feelings and that its something that people must control.

Would I love them? yes
Would I tell them its ok to be gay? no
Would I expect them not to act on their homosexuality? yes
Would I love them the same if they disregard whats right? no, I would probably love them less.

I cannot simply accept my child just because they're my child, I have to look at what they do as adults.

Do you have children? I only ask because it's impossible for me to imagine a Christian parent loving their child less because of behavior...loving them from a distance, maybe...but never loving them less. Of course, I could be naive to that form of parenting. I would pity the children in that situation, knowing that making a mistake or a bad decision would cause the person (who should love them more than anyone else on earth) to actually love them less. Have you ever made a choice that God was unhappy about? Did He love you less?

Sorry if this seems like a snotty post...it's not really meant as a personal attack towards you. It's just that, honestly, I can't imagine how anyone who's actually held their child in their arms and kissed away boo-boos could feel that way. But the world is full of all sorts of parents, I guess. Again, please don't take this personally. I guess this whole topic just sort of brings out my mother bear instincts.

I guess my thinking on the subject is that if you make such a rash decision to shut them out of your life unless they straighten up and fly right, then you could be shutting the door to the possibility of them finding their way back onto the right path. They've messed up, you've kicked them out, disowned them...where can they turn when the world lets them down? Most likely they'll remember the "Christian" behavior demonstrated to them by their own parents and basically say 'Forget That.' And even if your door was still open to them, would their pride let them come home? It's doubtful.

 

[sunshine]

My first reaction would be that I would be glad they felt they could come to me and "open up" about such matters, and not feel they had to hide it. Yes, I probably would be a bit disappointed that they were homosexual. However, I would still love them the same, and accept who they were. A parent should have unconditional love, just as God our Father has for us.

 

[Mayzoo]

First, I will say, I am a child abandondoned/disowned. My parents messy divorce lead my father to chose to abandon me when I was 12 (he "disappeared" and has not been found or been in my life since-he is alive, his mother lives, and would tell me of his death). IMO, there is no stronger hurt in the world than knowing your parent lives, and wants nothing to do with you, even to tell you they live or love you.

Now, as a parent, I would love my child the same. I also would not condone or allow certain behaviors under my roof, just as my adult child would not condone or allow certain behaviors under their roofs (ie hopefully no drugs, rape, murder etc...)

As a Christian, I have to look to the Bible: NIV Matthew 7:1-4 "1 Judge not, that you be judged. 2 For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3 And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, "Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your own eye?""

John 8:7 "7 ....."He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first""

My child is my child, but they are also a child of God. I will not put myself in God's role. I will not condemn. I will have my opinions, and my home rules, but I will not pass judgement on my adult children. I will, as I do now and will do for all time, pray for my child.

 

[Bible Addict]

Let me say, I had what you might call an "identity crisis" when I was between the ages of 13-15, maybe a little early, but I still had some very strong homosexual feelings.

I'm proud to say that through my faith in God, I've overcome those feelings, and I can now live a perfectly normal, healthy, Christian lifestyle as a heterosexual.

However, I never felt that I could speak to my parents about this, I've never really been all that close to them, but through a very obscure incident one day, I found myself in a position where I had to tell my mother, and doing that was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my entire life; she told me she still loved me, but cried for hours and offered no supoort whatsoever, she just sort of let me go off on my own while I thought about how miserable I had made her... and that was even harder because of the fact that ever since I realised I was "different", I had hated my homosexuality myself, knowing that my life would not be easy.

If she had completely disowned me or acted in the way that some of the replies in this thread talk about, such as "loving me less", I don't think I would ever have had the strength to look to God and get over this stage in my life.

Many people say, that you can't "change" and that if you have homosexual feelings, they stick with you for life, but that's not true. If you truly want to change, and have at least some small degree of support, or at least know that your closest relatives love you, it IS possible, but only if you have that knowledge of still being loved.

I hope that if your child ever tells you that he/she is gay, you will love them just as much as you always had, you don't need to accepttheir lifestyle or even pretend to be OK with it, but you do neen to make sure they know you love them, because without that, they will never have the strength to deal with their issues and they will never speak to you about anything important again.

God bless all of you (especially those who said they'd love their children no matter what ).