What would you do?...advice plse

[chaplainjared]

Hi all, i just need a quick bit of advice about a situation im not sure what to do about.
Myself and a few others run the youth ministry at my church. we have been mentored, and slowly released into this role by our youth pastor (who is now the assistant pastor of the church).
The problem is i recently found out something about one of the other leaders... > this particular leader was sleeping with one of my friends (they were a couple for about 6 weeks)!! I am completly shocked. I am good friends with this other leader, and i know that this person knows that this is not acceptable! i would never have thought that this person would do that, and so soon into a relationship also....
So now i dont know what to do... i feel like i should tell someone but then maybe i shouldnt..... ?!?!?!? im really not sure.... im thinking that its the shock that might be getting to me or something!
Imagine the last person you thought would do something like this! That is this person!

 

[AmzabellaFaith]

Hi all, i just need a quick bit of advice about a situation im not sure what to do about.
Myself and a few others run the youth ministry at my church. we have been mentored, and slowly released into this role by our youth pastor (who is now the assistant pastor of the church).
The problem is i recently found out something about one of the other leaders... > this particular leader was sleeping with one of my friends (they were a couple for about 6 weeks)!! I am completly shocked. I am good friends with this other leader, and i know that this person knows that this is not acceptable! i would never have thought that this person would do that, and so soon into a relationship also....
So now i dont know what to do... i feel like i should tell someone but then maybe i shouldnt..... ?!?!?!? im really not sure.... im thinking that its the shock that might be getting to me or something!
Imagine the last person you thought would do something like this! That is this person!

My opinion on the situation is What Would Jesus Do? I think as christians our role is not to judge others but to guide one another to the right path. If I was in your situation I wouldn't go behind that persons back and tell someone else. I know you feel like getting involved becuase you are in shock that the person you least expected did this, but we all get tempted! If you are still concerned about this person ask if they would like to pray, rather than telling them they are doing wrong. Just remember we all do things we are ashamed of and Jesus wipes our slate clean. He is the only righteous Judge. Get along side your friends and build one another up and let God deal with that persons personal situation. Good luck and God Bless xxx

 

[KagomeShuko]

I definitely second what AmzabellaFaith said. You found out, how? Who told you? Just be there for that person and be there if he needs a friend for a chat or prayers.

If the youth don't know (not because of wanting to hide things from them, but because this person wants to be a good role model) and they are not being taught that this behavior is correct, don't worry about it.

We all sin and fall short of the Glory of God. . .we're all tempted. . it's human nature.

Stein Auf!
Bridget

 

[chaplainjared]

yeah im the only one that knows.
However i know she wouldnt talk about it with me (a pride thing, and she would feel extremely uncomfortable if she know that i knew)...
which is why i thought i could tell the person who keeps us accountable so he can bring it up with her as i know she respects him.
I have no intention in telling anyone who doesnt need to know, however i understand the importance of being kept accountable, and we both have an accountability relationship with our leader/pastor over us.
Does this make a difference ????? should i tell him? or keep it secret. I wouldnt be telling anyone in spite, or in a judging attitude, just to keep her in check....
We are a close nit group and i 'think' she would possibly do the same....
however i dont want to cause unnecessary embarasment or hurt!!
im a little confused as to what to do...

 

[AmzabellaFaith]

I personnaly wouldn't tell him. It could ruine any kind of trust you may have with this person in the future. I would leave this in God's hands. Pray for this person. We all have free will and sometimes temptation overcomes us. I know you feel strongly that you should tell your leader but this might embarrass the person. Wouldn't it be better for them to confess themselves to God! The most important thing is that they put it right with God first. xx

 

[CWLite]

I actually disagree. Paul speaks of this. What I think you should do is tell knowone but him, and point out that what he is doing is wrong. If you have knowledge of a brother's sin and do not confront it, do you really love your brother? Confront him with love, point out in scripture, especially in the position he is in. If he does not change, confide in another elder and confront him again. If he still does not change, he is not to lead or minister to anyone, for might make another believer fall in the same sin. To say this to you is one thing, but to actually do it is very hard. I just believe that if that the most important thing here is purity in leadership, for they are spiritual fathers to those who they are leading, a very big responsability. I say this with much sensitivity, I can imagine the akward position you are in. May the Lord guide you and give you courage to do the right thing.

 

[BrotherSteve]

I actually disagree. Paul speaks of this. What I think you should do is tell knowone but him, and point out that what he is doing is wrong. If you have knowledge of a brother's sin and do not confront it, do you really love your brother? Confront him with love, point out in scripture, especially in the position he is in. If he does not change, confide in another elder and confront him again. If he still does not change, he is not to lead or minister to anyone, for might make another believer fall in the same sin. To say this to you is one thing, but to actually do it is very hard. I just believe that if that the most important thing here is purity in leadership, for they are spiritual fathers to those who they are leading, a very big responsability. I say this with much sensitivity, I can imagine the akward position you are in. May the Lord guide you and give you courage to do the right thing.

I agree with CWLite. I would approach the leader in confidence (with an observer if the leader is the opposite sex) and confront them about the situation.

Leaders in the Church should not be allowed to live in a lifestyle of sin (drunken, fornication, homosexuality, etc.) just because the congregation doesn't know about it.

 

[RED that's ME]

I agree with the last 2 posters. I have found that many times teens already know about situations like this when older adult staff don't. What does that say when the teens might assume leadership knows but does nothing about it.
Confrontation is never easy or fun. But like was mentioned as Christian brothers/sisters in Christ we are suppose to encourage/admonished each other in our walk with Christ.

 

[chanis]

being a youth pastor I can tell you that I would want that information disclosed to me or the pastor. I wouldn't judge the other person at all...we are not here to condemn but I would speak with them and let them know that I disagree with what they are doing but still love them. I would also tell them that becuase of of what they are doing they definiltly need to be ministered to and can't go out ministering at this point in time. I would also let them know as fellow ministry parnters that they need to talk to the pastor about the situation now if the individual disagreed with this then I would let them know that I would go to the pastor and let them because they i lvoe them and I love the "kids" as well and something needs to be done and then work towards restoring that individual...