What would Jesus want me to do?

[Brokenhearted23]

Hello, looking for some biblical guidance here. Long story so here it goes... my husband and i have been married for nearly 20 years. 10 years ago we moved away from the area he grew up in. He had a job he loved and considered his coworkers to be his family. When he was saying goodbye on his last day, a female coworker gave him a hug but walked away without saying anything. He was bothered by this and always wondered why she didn't say goodbye, they had worked together for 13 years.. Fast forward 10 years to current year, my husband ran into a former coworker and while catching up, he was told this woman actually quit her job the same day after my husband left, breaking her contract, she even took some of my husbands clothing and photos that he had left in his locker, and moved overseas where she has basically lived as a recluse ever since. My husband told his male coworker he was bothered by the way the woman left things off and always wondered why. A few days later, when i was at work, this woman shows up at our home to apologize to my husband for the way she left without saying goodbye and wanted to leave it at that. She looked like she had a terminal illness, very thin and sickly. My husband asked for an explanation, and while she said she didn't want to say anymore, he insisted because he wanted to understand what was going on. She ended up telling him that she had fallen in love with him, but that she wasn't going to do anything to interfere in our marriage. She said even if I left my husband, she would not be with him in this life. Instead, she was going to ask God if she could be with my husband in the next realm. She told him how she fell in love with him over the years while working together but then he started dating me, then we got married and she regretted not saying anything because she is certain that he is meant for her because he was exactly what she had been looking for her entire life, she knew it in her heart. She said she prayed over it and still felt the same way, She even thought about showing up at our wedding to tell him, but luckily she did not do that. She has lost a lot of weight, looks sickly now, and says her tear ducts do not function properly anymore from crying everyday for all these years. She is 50 years old and has liven as a recluse the past 10 years and claims she will continue to so until she dies, praying that God will then grant her her request. Apparently she read something in the torah that says virgins will be rewarded, so that is her plan. She is a beautiful woman and I know my husband is flattered by this. I feel bad for her but at the same time I am so distraught. She is coveting my husband and hoping to take him from me in the next life. I feel so disrespected by what this woman did and that she already interfered in my marriage by telling my husband these things and putting these ideas in his head. My husband doesn't think what she did was disrespectful, says she didn't do anything wrong, that this doesn't change anything, she was just expressing her feelings, and that she is allowed to make this request because according to the Bible there is no marriage in heaven and we are basically back on the market at that point. I believe in eternal, everlasting love and this is just heartbreaking to me. I am not going to compete for my husband's love and affection in the next life. This woman even asked my husband to be her bestfriend and he said he would. I am not comfortable with this. To make matters worse, my husband had a very dangerous job and this woman saved his life twice. So i understand his loyalty to her and that he feels he needs to help her, but this woman refuses to find someone else to love as she is positive he is the one for her. Luckily she lives overseas, so I am not worried about her being here, but i am still not comfortable with the idea that he is continuing to talk with this woman, though not frequently and just on a friendly basis to check on her and make sure she is doing ok. He even wants me to help her. I just cannot be ok with someone who is planning on replacing me, even though it is not in this life, it is just terribly bothersome to me. It is so bad that i get very upset if he even brings her up, and i have asked him to not talk about her anymore. It is quite pathetic and sad what she has done to herself because she is heartbroken and in love with my husband. She apparently wants to talk to me, but I am so distraught i do not want to talk to her or meet her. I am afraid if i tell her how i really feel she may harm herself, but i do not want her to think i am ok with her plans either. Not that she cares, she said she cannot change the way she feels, and that nothing will change the way she feels about my husband. This has really taken a toll on our marriage, and i cannot be ok with someone who is planning on replacing me, even thought it is not in this life. Am I wrong to feel the way i do? that this was disrespectful to myself and my marriage? and to not want my husband to have further contact with this woman? I am really struggling with this. I cry nearly everyday. Looking for biblical advice please. What would Jesus want me to do?

 

[snoochface]

I can't tell if this is a joke or not. You seem to know a good amount about the Bible. Do you really believe that we are "back on the market" in heaven and that loving other people the way you are talking about, romantically, is going to be our focus in heaven? Do you know of anything in the Bible that says virgins will be rewarded in this way?

My Biblical advice is to read your Bible, learn what heaven is going to be about, stop worrying about a woman who lives overseas but apparently within days of a chance run-in in a different town with an old co-worker can fly overseas to show up at your door while you're at work to confess her love for your husband, fly back overseas where she lives as a recluse, but wants to fly back overseas again to meet you and that you are somehow supposed to help from overseas. The whole thing sounds so out there. Go back to your Bible and discover what we will be doing in heaven and this will no longer be a concern.

 

[Brokenhearted23]

I can't tell if this is a joke or not. You seem to know a good amount about the Bible. Do you really believe that we are "back on the market" in heaven and that loving other people the way you are talking about, romantically, is going to be our focus in heaven? Do you know of anything in the Bible that says virgins will be rewarded in this way?

My Biblical advice is to read your Bible, learn what heaven is going to be about, stop worrying about a woman who lives overseas but apparently within days of a chance run-in in a different town with an old co-worker can fly overseas to show up at your door while you're at work to confess her love for your husband, fly back overseas where she lives as a recluse, but wants to fly back overseas again to meet you and that you are somehow supposed to help from overseas. The whole thing sounds so out there. Go back to your Bible and discover what we will be doing in heaven and this will no longer be a concern.

I know it sounds crazy, I am still in disbelief myself, months laters. But just to clarify... the former coworker still kept in contact with the woman overseas, so he told her my husband was bothered by the way she left things off, and she immediately jumped on a plane to come here to apologize to him. She wanted to talk with me at that time but i was at work. Secondly, our time in heaven in spiritual form will be brief, and it appears that in the new millennium we will again be able to marry and have children again, so that is my concern as well since it sounds like we will again be in physical form and living on the new earth.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

I know it sounds crazy, I am still in disbelief myself, months laters. But just to clarify... the former coworker still kept in contact with the woman overseas, so he told her my husband was bothered by the way she left things off, and she immediately jumped on a plane to come here to apologize to him. She wanted to talk with me at that time but i was at work. Secondly, our time in heaven in spiritual form will be brief, and it appears that in the new millennium we will again be able to marry and have children again, so that is my concern as well since it sounds like we will again be in physical form and living on the new earth.

There are two things, the first is there is no marriage in heaven. We will still know who we were married to, and there may be family groups. But there will be no sexual reproduction in heaven. It would mean these children would have to undergo testing by God to see if they remain faithful. This will not happen in heaven.

Mar 12:25 For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.

The second thing is regarding your husband. The Bible, tells us to submit to one another in the fear of the LORD.

Eph 5:21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.

Your husband must submit to your feelings before any other person. Bring up the scripture with him, let him know that you are not happy with the current communication he has, and that you want it stopped. He should let the other woman know what you have requested, and there should be no more communication. Also, pray for the woman's emotional healing, I will too.