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Or, of course, you coudl convince them to wait until marriage...and they'll marry at 18 and divorce at 21 when they realise they were stupid to marry so young.
Yes, it would certainly suck.
No offense mate, but you don't own your kids. You don't have the right to keep them away from reality, they're people in their own right, not extensions of you.ssms27 said:Not sure if I like you analogy using the car, I will need to think about it, but your point is well taken. As a Christian I guess I need to raise me kids (not that I have any now) according to my own moral beliefs. But just as you don't want Christians telling you how to raise your kids I don't want the norms of society to raise mine.
challenger said:No offense mate, but you don't own your kids. You don't have the right to keep them away from reality, they're people in their own right, not extensions of you.
So are you going to teach them about contraception then?ssms27 said:All I said was that I was going to raise my kids according to my own moral beliefs. I didn't say I was going to lock them up or keep them from reality.
Of course you could always warn them of the danger and make sure that they are informed as to what the risks of each situation are.My point was I don't want society to have a stronger influence on my kids than I do. Lets face it, kids do not make the best decisions and are more influenced by peer pressure than rational thinking. But that doesn't mean I should compromise and tell them its ok to have sex whenever they feel their ready. No, on the contrary its by job as a parent to protect them, from themselves, until there old enough to make their own decisions regarding sex.
No, I'm telling you that I don't agree with your particular brand of parenting.See, by saying no offense but, your are telling me what I can and can't do as a parent. Is it wrong for my children to be raised with Christian values?
So are you going to teach them about contraception then?
Of course you could always warn them of the danger and make sure that they are informed as to what the risks of each situation are.
No, I'm telling you that I don't agree with your particular brand of parenting.
Really I don't think there's much we disagree on, you just think that they should be married first, I think they should be ready to deal with the possible consequences (both health wise and emotional) of being in a sexual relationship with somebody.ssms27 said:Yeah I would want to warn them and protect them as best I can. I just don't think telling them its OK to have sex is the right way to do that.
I also misunderstood what you were saying, I though you meant that you didn't feel that you should teach your kids about contraception.OK, I misunderstood what you were saying.
challenger said:Really I don't think there's much we disagree on, you just think that they should be married first, I think they should be ready to deal with the possible consequences (both health wise and emotional) of being in a sexual relationship with somebody.
I also misunderstood what you were saying, I though you meant that you didn't feel that you should teach your kids about contraception.
I don't THINK it's a scare tactic...I would call something a "scare tactic" if it uses the bad consequences of a very unlikely outcome as a warning against an action - for example, don't have sex, you'll get AIDS. But from what I know (admittedly anecdotal), the chances of those who marry young getting divorced is rather high, making this not a "scare tactic" but more a realistic prediction.ssms27 said:Is this a scare tactic? Hey people get married and divorced in their 30's and so on. Thats because people say words like, to death due us part, in sickness and health but don't honor their word. That goes for Christians as well as Non-Christians. Its easier to leave someone than to work through marital issues. (I'm not talking about major issues like abuse, adultery, ect)
Steve
I can certainly understand the above. Definitely, I can understand that you want to raise your children according to your own moral beliefs. But in this situation where (for example) your moral beliefs aer "don't have sex until marriage", will you also teach them "But if you DO have sex before marriage, here is what you should do to protect yourself", or will you say "if you wait until marriage, you won't need to protect yourself, so I won't teach you how to do so"? I could certainly sympathise with the first option; but the second is, IMO, harmful to them.ssms27 said:
That made me laugh.
Bellman,
Not sure if I like you analogy using the car, I will need to think about it, but your point is well taken. As a Christian I guess I need to raise me kids (not that I have any now) according to my own moral beliefs. But just as you don't want Christians telling you how to raise your kids I don't want the norms of society to raise mine.
Steve
I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "how to get around per-marital sex". Do you mean you won't tell them how to protect themselves IF they choose to have pre-marital sex?Grace_of_God said:I will teach my kids about sex but not every last detail nor will I tell them what to do and how to get around pre-marital sex. I will explain to them why it is very important to wait until marriage. I will let them know that they can come for me, but our relationship is going to be based on an education about God, not one about sex. I will teach them of MARRIAGE, rather than of *just* sex.
Oh, so true!!!!!The Bellman said:Or, of course, you coudl convince them to wait until marriage...and they'll marry at 18 and divorce at 21 when they realise they were stupid to marry so young.
Grace_of_God said:I will teach my kids about sex but not every last detail nor will I tell them what to do and how to get around pre-marital sex. I will explain to them why it is very important to wait until marriage. I will let them know that they can come for me, but our relationship is going to be based on an education about God, not one about sex. I will teach them of MARRIAGE, rather than of *just* sex.
transientlife said:I'm interested to hear what the rest of you would do!
It's their own life to live when they're UNDER 18, too. Kids have sex before they're 18.seebs said:Anyway, I certainly plan, should I have any kids, to make sure they understand the biology and the emotional issues. I would recommend that they not have premarital sex, but, once they're 18, it's their life to live.
This is a big danger. You learn "every last detail" from friends...who might not get it right. Hence girls who think youcan't get pregnant the first time, or if you do it standing up, etc. Surely the best way for them to learn is the same place they learn other facts - school?flicka said:My mother had a similar way of handling it when I was a kid. I ended up learning about getting married from her, and 'every last detail' about sex from my friends, as I suspect all kids will do if they don't already have the info (this isn't as bad as it sounds since many parents can't speak frankly to their kids about anything sexual). My only question to you is what will you do/say to your adult children if marriage isn't in the cards? Will you care if they remain celibate forever or just ignore the possibility that they wont? It seems like some parents just want to get their kids into marriage (or adulthood) as virgins, but at some point it's got to become a non issue...right?
The Bellman said:It's their own life to live when they're UNDER 18, too. Kids have sex before they're 18.
TheBellman said:This is a big danger. You learn "every last detail" from friends...who might not get it right. Hence girls who think youcan't get pregnant the first time, or if you do it standing up, etc. Surely the best way for them to learn is the same place they learn other facts - school?
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