What was your first year of marriage like?

[DaveKerwin]

I am getting married this summer, and I have heard mixed reviews about the first year of marriage. Some people say its hell, others say its awesome.

So for those of you who have been married a few years, tell me about your first year, thanks.

 

[Jamida]

It's only hell if you make it so. Seriously, our first year of marriage was a blast! Experiencing life together without the pressures of premarital abstinence, pressures of wedding plans, family pressures, etc. Sure there's a few rocky places when you realize you're more different than you thought, but to us the key was to chill out and take it for a grain of salt and not blow up about it. Give, give, give, and then give some more and give when you don't feel like gving. With a servants attitude toward each other, ya can't go wrong.

 

[sarahbug]

Our first year of marriage went pretty well. The only thing that really made it tough was that my husband joined the Army about 6 months after we got married, so that added a little bit of stress adjusting to a new way of life, but all in all, I have good memories of our first year together.

 

[TCapp]

Our first year was good. There were a few mild clashes as we were learning about each other's personality, temperament, and love language preferences - and there's bound to be friction from time to time. But it was good, and I find myself missing the peace and quiet of that year (the B.C. days - before children).

 

[mamaneenie]

Well, our first year was really tough, but we grew heaps from it. We were in YWAM, we did our DTS in Sydney Australia. What a blast. I met heaps of people and stuff, but sleeping in a tent in the Australian outback when you are 6mths pregnant, well, that was fun, but hard. Especially when someone decided to put icing sugar in my bed, I was not impressed, you just don't do that to a tired, pregnant hormonal woman!

We went back home to Canberra, to unemployment, my husband couldn't find a job so that was really hard. We had to live with people who were infertile, and made my life a living hell, just because I was pg. They kicked us out, I still can't look the lady in the eye, and she calls herself a Christian. The husband is fine, he is my husband's best friend, just the wife is really hard to get along with, a few swear words would be appropriate. We went to live with my MIL, our first child was born in November 2001. What a darling. But not for the first year of marriage.

He now has a job, and we are trying to save for a house. Also thinking of having another baby too.

Our first year was hard, but we did have some good times, I met some good friends in YWAM and would love to do something else with them one day. and also we grew together as a couple, they say that what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger and I think that is true in our case.

 

[WashedClean]

Goodness, I can hardly remember our first year! I'll be married 13 years next May, so we're going back a while...

When we got married, we were both unbelievers. Now I'm saved but hubby isn't. Still, we have a great marriage. I think if you are both Christians, which you probably are, then you already have a lot going for you. The key really is having a servant's attitude like Jamida said. If you are both concerned with meeting each other's needs (of course, putting Christ first), then how can you go wrong? You will have your ups and downs like every married couple does, but just keep your eyes focused on God and each other second.

Just my $.02. May God richly bless you and your future wife!

WashedClean

 

[DaveKerwin]

thanks!

We are both believers, and know each other extremely well. We begin premarital counceling next week. Looking forward to it. I want to wait at least a year before children (bc, lol), but that does not always work the way you want it to.

Glad to hear a few of you say it was awesome, that is the plan I have!

 

[Jamida]

In Biblical times, when the couple got married the man took (I can't remember the exact amount) like 1 year off from work. Nice, huH? The point was to focus on the relationship and help it grow. I do believe in the theory of light committments to other things during the first year. My husband and I did that. We both committed to our jobs (only required hours, no OT), and then one ministry (max of 3 hours a week). This left a TON of time to focus on US. Worked great for us.

 

[mamaneenie]

In Biblical times, when the couple got married the man took (I can't remember the exact amount) like 1 year off from work. Nice, huH? The point was to focus on the relationship and help it grow. I do believe in the theory of light committments to other things during the first year. My husband and I did that. We both committed to our jobs (only required hours, no OT), and then one ministry (max of 3 hours a week). This left a TON of time to focus on US. Worked great for us.

You definitely need time to focus on the relationship, because it is hard work learning to live with someone and "becoming one"

 

[Iddie4him]

My wife, E-beth and I got married in July 2001. I took a job in Pa 2 months before we got married, She didn't really want to move away from her family. But, She moved with me and in May 2002, We had a son, Matthew. Hes 19 months old now and a real handful most days. Someday we hope to move back to Oh closer to her family. Marriage isn't tough, it's just that some issues can be a burden, especially if you don't talk about it.

 

[E-beth]

The first year can be very very hard, and very very cool. I definitely think waiting at least a year to have kids is the right thing to do. As Iddie said, we were pregnant a month after getting married, so while we were learning to live together, we also had to learn to be parents. And because of that, we never got to take a vacation together or do much couple stuff as a married couple.

One thing is for certain, the first year goes by FAST!

 

[FervidPrincess]

Our first year of marriage was awesome. We spent every moment we could with each other...actually we still do after 16 years of marriage. We love each others company. I cant say we never had words in the first year we were married, and certainly cant say that we dont have words from time to time now. But its all little stuff. I think the biggest thing in the first year was just adjusting to living with someone besides our parents. The responsability of paying bills and all that good grown up stuff. It was awesome the first year and its still awesome 16 years later.

 

[Mrs K 2004]

Thank you for this thread!! It filled in many of my thoughts/fears! I am getting married June 27, and am very confidant that our first year won't be horrid...although I see some difficulties! (Learning to live with someone can't be easy!)

My main hope is that in 5, 10, 15...50 years we are still in love as much as we are now! And that we still want to spend every possible moment together and try new adventures!

 

[HeatherJay]

Ours was hard only because he was in the Army and left for a 6 month deployment to Egypt 2 months after we were married. But still, we wrote each other every day and mailed packages weekly. And before we knew it, it was over. We got pregnant about 2 days after he returned home . Just always remember the things that make him smile. If he loves chocolate chip cookies, make them for him. If he loves back rubs, do that. As long as you keep making each other smile, you'll be all good

Love, Heather

 

[chriso]

Our first year of marriage was great. We both had some adjusting to do. And we moved a couple of times. It went a lot smoother after I learned not to say "that's not the way my mom does it" haha. We have been married over 20 years now, our children are just about out of the nest. And we look foreward to spending some real quality time together.

 

[Kelly]

Ours was great. One word of advice: Don't have kids right away, enjoy your married time together for a year or two. We were married for 1.5 years before having our first child and those were very good times...well, it's still good w/kids but let's just say it was different.

 

[seebs]

We had no idea what we were doing, but we had sex a lot. I think it was fairly typical.

 

[Kelly]

We had no idea what we were doing, but we had sex a lot. I think it was fairly typical.

 

[pmarquette]

I am getting married this summer, and I have heard mixed reviews about the first year of marriage. Some people say its hell, others say its awesome.

So for those of you who have been married a few years, tell me about your first year, thanks.

As with Genesis .... the book of beginnings , so is the first year of marriage , the seeds of beginnings in marriage covenant... at some point one of the 4 categories will cause some friction .... as long as you can talk , resolve , and tweak things , you have a chance of making the distance ...
FORM =
family -- holidays , long weekends , vactions and travel
occupation -- overtime , evenings , weekends
recreation -- relaxation , vacations
money -- spend / save / lack of / wise use of

If you as a couple , assess priorities :
#1 God first in life , marriage
don't let offense come between you

#2 you as now 1 flesh , by covenant
let no one separate you

#3 parents are valued advisors
not your superiors

#4 friends are a blessing , but
not to come between you as a couple

#5 resolve discrepancies as they come
comprimise , put behind you and go forward.

 

[Mistyfogg]

My husband and I celebrated our first year anniversary last month. The first year has been wonderful!!! The only bad part was that he was sent to Iraq (he is in the Marines) for 5 months right after we were married. But it made our love only grow stronger. I appreciate him so much and love all of his little idiosyncracies. We enjoy being together, pray together, constantly tell each other how much we love each other, etc. Marriage is how you make it. If you fight, make sure that it is constructive. My husband and I rarely fight, but when we do, we always get something out of it. We also agreed on when we are going to have kids. We are going to wait about 4 more years. Anyways, I am sorry if I am seeming to brag but I really have faith in my marriage