What was the most difficult thing you've had to deal with?

[Determinedheart]

On your worship team what was the hardest thing you had to deal with? and how did you resolve the issue? I think this thread is a good way to help give some insight to others perhaps going through something right now and to teach or share what some of us have already gone through Care to share?

 

[krispar]

We had an elder take over the music ministry and basically kick everyone but him (a guitar player) and the pianist. The singers we had, and me on the woodwinds, weren't invited to "worship team meetings", and week after week, he would slowly give us the boot by saying "we don't need a flute in this song, maybe you could sit out this week?" etc. (On top of this [warning, this is a complaint]) my husband does sound for the church and since we are small the elder likes to tell him when he's done something wrong in front of the congregation, during worship service. You can kick me out, but do that to my husband **boxing gloves come out**)
I rarely play with him anymore during congregational singing, which was mainly what our church does, but my mother in law is the pianist now, so we play duets for prelude, during offering, and postlude. My husband still does the sound but he's a patient man and doesn't let the yelling bother him, but he's not happy with the decline in music ministry. We are planning on talking to him about it soon, and if he doesn't listen, do the Bible way of bringing in the pastor, and so on. **Phew** that was long~

 

[BrBob]

That's a hard spot krispar...

I think the hardest situation I've run across is having to leave the team.

Bob
Spearfish, SD

 

[Determinedheart]

We had an elder take over the music ministry and basically kick everyone but him (a guitar player) and the pianist. The singers we had, and me on the woodwinds, weren't invited to "worship team meetings", and week after week, he would slowly give us the boot by saying "we don't need a flute in this song, maybe you could sit out this week?" etc. (On top of this [warning, this is a complaint]) my husband does sound for the church and since we are small the elder likes to tell him when he's done something wrong in front of the congregation, during worship service. You can kick me out, but do that to my husband **boxing gloves come out**)
I rarely play with him anymore during congregational singing, which was mainly what our church does, but my mother in law is the pianist now, so we play duets for prelude, during offering, and postlude. My husband still does the sound but he's a patient man and doesn't let the yelling bother him, but he's not happy with the decline in music ministry. We are planning on talking to him about it soon, and if he doesn't listen, do the Bible way of bringing in the pastor, and so on. **Phew** that was long~

Yes, this sounds like a hard time hopefully it will be all worked out

 

[Determinedheart]

That's a hard spot krispar...

I think the hardest situation I've run across is having to leave the team.

Bob
Spearfish, SD

I have never left a team but sometimes it was really hard to hang on That must have been a difficult time .

 

[BrBob]

Yes, it's been hard but it's worth it.

I didn't just leave the team, I left the church. Since I left I've discovered that the teaching there is borderline, or actual, error. I've been doing a lot of studying and am figuring out that a lot of what I've learned in the last several years has been minutely tainted. Too long a story to go into now.

What I really miss is the worship team stuff but then, maybe I was doing it for the wrong reasons. After all, in retrospect I can see that that was the main reason I was still in the church....

Bob

 

[SGM4HIM]

How about ... trying to tell someone that plays an instrument you don't play, that the chord is off a little or the drum beat is not correct: and sometimes the person actually teaches piano or has an unteahable spirit.

Sorry I don't have a solution but would like to hear other experiences.

 

[krispar]

This is kind of a funny story... a couple years ago we were playing a song and the afore mentioned elder asked me if I like the key of Eb Major, because it's "hard" and that was "what the song was in". The song was in a sharp key, not anywhere related to Eb. I wasn't going to tell him, but did... maybe that is why I was the first to get the boot?!

 

[Determinedheart]

How about ... trying to tell someone that plays an instrument you don't play, that the chord is off a little or the drum beat is not correct: and sometimes the person actually teaches piano or has an unteahable spirit.

Sorry I don't have a solution but would like to hear other experiences.

Yes, unfortunately pride rises up in a lot of places and is hard to deal with. I have found if someone seems unteachable to just try to be patient and keep saying things if you notice they are not right and if the get offended that is something they have to deal with but yeah ,its hard we are all made so different

 

[Determinedheart]

This is kind of a funny story... a couple years ago we were playing a song and the afore mentioned elder asked me if I like the key of Eb Major, because it's "hard" and that was "what the song was in". The song was in a sharp key, not anywhere related to Eb. I wasn't going to tell him, but did... maybe that is why I was the first to get the boot?!

lol A great sense of humor We need that in all ministrys. kindness and laughter can break many walls

 

[LeadWorship]

Dischord between musicians. So much so that we sat all the musicians down and are still singing to tracks. That was a year ago, and unfortunately it seems that other problems pushed into this situation. Be mindful and pray over all parts of the worship ministry. The enemy will come in and try to rob everyone he can, and the worst place to let him in, aside from leadership, is the worship ministry. The worship team must be in 100% unity to work God's complete will.

 

[DeepSigh]

Whew, I feel like my ministry over the last five years or so has been one long "difficult thing" after another. Let's see if I can put it in a nutshell (don't hold me to that! lol)

We had fantastic worship in the church we went to in Arizona. Even our Wednesday night rehearsals were worship times. Then my family moved to Texas (my home state, so it was nice to go "home"). We joined a very small church (partly because my dad goes there and we love the pastor), and this church had had music issues for YEARS. They had only an interim worship minister who basically did choir and Sunday morning and that was it. He didn't even write up the worship order, just did what the pastor told him to. So it started out with me "secretly" writing up the worship orders ("to avoid any controversy over a woman doing this"), then finally I was allowed to "go public". Then another musical young woman joined the church and she and I became a "praise team". Then we merged with another church, and their worship leader became our worship leader for the first six months (part of the "deal"). After those six months it became Lead-by-Committee, with me, the young woman I had started out with and the other church's leader (another female!) rotating who led. Then she got pregnant and had to step down, so we got a guy in for the third place. Then our church decided we could afford to actually pay a part-time worship minister, so the guy and I both put our resumes in, as did someone from outside the church. They hired the guy from outside (even though the pastor claimed I was really the first choice) because he had some other skills ("Emerging Church" stuff) that our church was interested in. By this time I was exhausted, wounded and bleeding from all the horrific controversy I had lived through in bringing our church from 99% hymns and 1% praise songs to a more even mix. We had older people leave (partly from the merger, partly from the music, because the other church's worship team was more "contemporary" -- gasp!), we had criticism from one quarter in particular that STUNG. I mean, it was a battlefield for three years solid. So at first I was hurt about the new guy. He was a little hard to get used to for our formerly-Baptist church -- he had a shaved head, his eyebrow was pierced (and he said he had many other piercings "we knew not of" -- in fact, he had been in a band that had won a Dove award for "Industrial Metal" Christian music) and he hadn't grown up in the church so he didn't know many hymns. He also didn't know many of the praise songs we did. But as I got to know him, I just thought he was the neatest guy! His heart for the Lord was bigger than Texas, and he was so right-on in his theology. Well, I got very used to him, and was finally beginning to relax and just WORSHIP the Lord, really praise Him instead of worrying about who was gonna rip into me after church. Mr. Piercings brought an amazing energy to the worship, too, that the majority of our church members loved.

AND THEN one day in October last year, right after we'd just had a meeting about the future of our worship team and what the future held for us, he announced that he and his wife were leaving, that God had called them to go plant a church in Tennessee. I was devastated. I could just see us descending again into the maelstrom of Lead-by-Committee that we had only been out of for a year. So I told the pastor that I was NOT interested in leading again. I meant the interim, Lead-by-Committee thing, but he thought I meant as the Official Worship Leader. So they hired the other guy who had put in his resume.

Since then, things have been very different. Different worship style, not the same energy. He's a great guy -- we definitely do more hymns now. And he plays the guitar beautifully (I don't play anything except the piano, and that badly). But it's SO different.

So, for me this whole past five years -- well, minus the one when Mr. Piercings was the worship leader -- has been super difficult. I've almost quite several times, but God won't let me. He keeps reminding me He gave me my voice for a reason.

Sorry this was so long! To really tell it would've taken several pages, so I DID spare you! lol Guess I just needed to let that out! Thanks for "listening".

 

[Determinedheart]

Whew, I feel like my ministry over the last five years or so has been one long "difficult thing" after another. Let's see if I can put it in a nutshell (don't hold me to that! lol)

We had fantastic worship in the church we went to in Arizona. Even our Wednesday night rehearsals were worship times. Then my family moved to Texas (my home state, so it was nice to go "home"). We joined a very small church (partly because my dad goes there and we love the pastor), and this church had had music issues for YEARS. They had only an interim worship minister who basically did choir and Sunday morning and that was it. He didn't even write up the worship order, just did what the pastor told him to. So it started out with me "secretly" writing up the worship orders ("to avoid any controversy over a woman doing this"), then finally I was allowed to "go public". Then another musical young woman joined the church and she and I became a "praise team". Then we merged with another church, and their worship leader became our worship leader for the first six months (part of the "deal"). After those six months it became Lead-by-Committee, with me, the young woman I had started out with and the other church's leader (another female!) rotating who led. Then she got pregnant and had to step down, so we got a guy in for the third place. Then our church decided we could afford to actually pay a part-time worship minister, so the guy and I both put our resumes in, as did someone from outside the church. They hired the guy from outside (even though the pastor claimed I was really the first choice) because he had some other skills ("Emerging Church" stuff) that our church was interested in. By this time I was exhausted, wounded and bleeding from all the horrific controversy I had lived through in bringing our church from 99% hymns and 1% praise songs to a more even mix. We had older people leave (partly from the merger, partly from the music, because the other church's worship team was more "contemporary" -- gasp!), we had criticism from one quarter in particular that STUNG. I mean, it was a battlefield for three years solid. So at first I was hurt about the new guy. He was a little hard to get used to for our formerly-Baptist church -- he had a shaved head, his eyebrow was pierced (and he said he had many other piercings "we knew not of" -- in fact, he had been in a band that had won a Dove award for "Industrial Metal" Christian music) and he hadn't grown up in the church so he didn't know many hymns. He also didn't know many of the praise songs we did. But as I got to know him, I just thought he was the neatest guy! His heart for the Lord was bigger than Texas, and he was so right-on in his theology. Well, I got very used to him, and was finally beginning to relax and just WORSHIP the Lord, really praise Him instead of worrying about who was gonna rip into me after church. Mr. Piercings brought an amazing energy to the worship, too, that the majority of our church members loved.

AND THEN one day in October last year, right after we'd just had a meeting about the future of our worship team and what the future held for us, he announced that he and his wife were leaving, that God had called them to go plant a church in Tennessee. I was devastated. I could just see us descending again into the maelstrom of Lead-by-Committee that we had only been out of for a year. So I told the pastor that I was NOT interested in leading again. I meant the interim, Lead-by-Committee thing, but he thought I meant as the Official Worship Leader. So they hired the other guy who had put in his resume.

Since then, things have been very different. Different worship style, not the same energy. He's a great guy -- we definitely do more hymns now. And he plays the guitar beautifully (I don't play anything except the piano, and that badly). But it's SO different.

So, for me this whole past five years -- well, minus the one when Mr. Piercings was the worship leader -- has been super difficult. I've almost quite several times, but God won't let me. He keeps reminding me He gave me my voice for a reason.

Sorry this was so long! To really tell it would've taken several pages, so I DID spare you! lol Guess I just needed to let that out! Thanks for "listening".

WOW Sounds like alot of changes, we have had alot of changes (leaders etc.) on our team and boy sometimes it is awesome and some times it is hard, but I think you are right when you say we have to remember what we are called to do, God never said it would be easy thanks for sharing

 

[Determinedheart]

Dischord between musicians. So much so that we sat all the musicians down and are still singing to tracks. That was a year ago, and unfortunately it seems that other problems pushed into this situation. Be mindful and pray over all parts of the worship ministry. The enemy will come in and try to rob everyone he can, and the worst place to let him in, aside from leadership, is the worship ministry. The worship team must be in 100% unity to work God's complete will.

Yes, unity is very important. I have found when the team spends more time together in prayer it keeps the team stronger... closer

The enemy heads straight for the annoiting and he knows the power and commanded blessing that fall when a team is unified and he will try to stop it from even starting.

 

[Jenster]

What a timely thread! Thanks for starting it, Determinedheart.

The most difficult thing I've dealt with is what I'm currently dealing with. There's a guy on my team who always wants me to accommodate his schedule.

Basically, we play the same instrument, so we play on alternating weeks. Thing is, he frequently changes his schedule and constantly asks me -- in front of the whole group -- if I can swap with him because he "can't" make his week.

What bugs the heck out of me is that is that he has an exaggerated sense of "can't." He prioritizes other things over practice, then expects me to swap so that he plays on the weeks that he "can."

I'm finding it hard to seek unity when I'm the one doing all the sacrificing. Our worship leader already tried to fix this problem by setting up a schedule, but my fellow band member -- predictably -- is already trying to change the schedule.

Anyone got advice? Does unity call for me to be pushed around? I just really think this guy has a problem. Or do you think I'm the one with the problem? Truth is, I *could* swap with him, but I resent the fact that he ends up calling the schedule for both of us -- based on his own personal schedule, and rarely with much advanced notice.

 

[DeepSigh]

Three words -- Just Say No

There is no reason on earth you should have to accommodate this guy all the time. Occasionally, yes. But he is running all over you, and even though we Christians are supposed to be loving and giving and self-sacrificing, I really don't think Jesus called us to be doormats.

So if you have to be more specific than just "No, I can't do that this week", just tell him you have a life, too, and you would appreciate sticking to the schedule as closely as possible. No guilt, either. It's called "boundaries", and this guy apparently needs a few.

Of course, say it all in love! ;-)

 

[Jenster]

Hey, thanks, DeepSigh. I appreciate your very clear advice -- just what I needed. I've lived for too many years giving in to others' needs. But I'm trying to get better and to practice boundary-setting.

I definitely think I'll email him back to say that I won't be able to sub for him. I'll tell him I don't have enough time to practice this week, which is true. But I'll also extend an olive branch and tell him IF one of my Sundays I need a sub, I'll call him.

DeepSigh, I'm sorry to hear you've been put through the wringer these last five years. I'm glad you stuck to it, though. Keep using the gift you've been given. A beautiful voice praising the Lord is an encouragement to all who hear it!

 

[becky81101]

to choose THE hardest thing would be impossible for me. so i'll try to narrow it down

-pride. this one seems to sneak in all the time! this one is difficult for me mostly because i'm good friends with everyone on the team. you'd think that would help, but it doesn't. only 2 people on our current team are able to take criticism and all from me and not allow it to affect our friendship.

-dealing with people who question every single decision that you're making. (i'm currently dealing with this one, and it's TOUGH!)

-being married the sound team leader!

 

[Determinedheart]

What a timely thread! Thanks for starting it, Determinedheart.

The most difficult thing I've dealt with is what I'm currently dealing with. There's a guy on my team who always wants me to accommodate his schedule.

Basically, we play the same instrument, so we play on alternating weeks. Thing is, he frequently changes his schedule and constantly asks me -- in front of the whole group -- if I can swap with him because he "can't" make his week.

What bugs the heck out of me is that is that he has an exaggerated sense of "can't." He prioritizes other things over practice, then expects me to swap so that he plays on the weeks that he "can."

I'm finding it hard to seek unity when I'm the one doing all the sacrificing. Our worship leader already tried to fix this problem by setting up a schedule, but my fellow band member -- predictably -- is already trying to change the schedule.

Anyone got advice? Does unity call for me to be pushed around? I just really think this guy has a problem. Or do you think I'm the one with the problem? Truth is, I *could* swap with him, but I resent the fact that he ends up calling the schedule for both of us -- based on his own personal schedule, and rarely with much advanced notice.

Yes, I think saying no and setting boundaries is a good idea.

I think when we don't because we want to be
"nice" but then we start to resent people and that is not a good place to be

Nothing wrong with NOT over extending yourself.

 

[Determinedheart]

to choose THE hardest thing would be impossible for me. so i'll try to narrow it down

-pride. this one seems to sneak in all the time! this one is difficult for me mostly because i'm good friends with everyone on the team. you'd think that would help, but it doesn't. only 2 people on our current team are able to take criticism and all from me and not allow it to affect our friendship.

-dealing with people who question every single decision that you're making. (i'm currently dealing with this one, and it's TOUGH!)

-being married the sound team leader!

Out of all the things I have seen rise up the most I would have to say pride as well, and it is very frustrating I would have to say understanding where and who the pride is really coming from(not the actual person but the enemy) has helped me to see what is really going on and praying about it.