What was left behind

[akmom]

I recently lost both my parents, within a few years of each other. We have had these past couple months of coping and getting the kids through the reality of not having grandparents any more. But I still have the challenges of the estate. Neither of my siblings live nearby, so I have the sole task of sorting out 30 years of possessions.

They were truly hoarders, and I knew that, but what complicates things is this. When my dad died, my mom abandoned their fixer upper home (and everything in it) and used his life insurance money to build a new home in the middle of nowhere. And even though the common areas of the home were always presentable, it seems she went into overdrive hoarding, filling up every corner of this new home with things. The sheer volume of stuff is so overwhelming to me. And it isn't just a Walmart shopping spree: she was burning rapidly through her retirement, buying luxury items that make absolutely no sense for a middle class person to ever own. She bought heavy machinery that she never used, clothes she would never fit, furniture that far exceeds the capacity of her space. Things that just make no sense at all. I know I will have to clear this out to ever sell the home, but I don't want to dedicate the next year of my life to this! And the re-sale value isn't going to be what she paid... such waste. Furthermore, I can't imagine who would buy this home in the middle of nowhere. I worry that it won't even sell after I get it emptied. (Not to mention trying to sell the fixer upper.) It seems a waste to just scrap it all and let it go into foreclosure... but I just don't know if I want to invest all this time into a hopeless cause. Not to mention I can hardly go through their things without crying.

Has any one else faced this?

 

[sfs]

I haven't faced anything quite like that (although cleaning out my Mom's house when she downsized did nearly kill both of us). Consider some of the suggestions here, especially about the appraiser and hiring a liquidator.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

I recently lost both my parents, within a few years of each other. We have had these past couple months of coping and getting the kids through the reality of not having grandparents any more. But I still have the challenges of the estate. Neither of my siblings live nearby, so I have the sole task of sorting out 30 years of possessions.

They were truly hoarders, and I knew that, but what complicates things is this. When my dad died, my mom abandoned their fixer upper home (and everything in it) and used his life insurance money to build a new home in the middle of nowhere. And even though the common areas of the home were always presentable, it seems she went into overdrive hoarding, filling up every corner of this new home with things. The sheer volume of stuff is so overwhelming to me. And it isn't just a Walmart shopping spree: she was burning rapidly through her retirement, buying luxury items that make absolutely no sense for a middle class person to ever own. She bought heavy machinery that she never used, clothes she would never fit, furniture that far exceeds the capacity of her space. Things that just make no sense at all. I know I will have to clear this out to ever sell the home, but I don't want to dedicate the next year of my life to this! And the re-sale value isn't going to be what she paid... such waste. Furthermore, I can't imagine who would buy this home in the middle of nowhere. I worry that it won't even sell after I get it emptied. (Not to mention trying to sell the fixer upper.) It seems a waste to just scrap it all and let it go into foreclosure... but I just don't know if I want to invest all this time into a hopeless cause. Not to mention I can hardly go through their things without crying.

Has any one else faced this?

I've helped various patients of mine to do this type of major downsizing... one lady had a near five thousand square foot home plus garage with an apartment, she filled it all up so much there was barely room to walk to the bathroom! I lived in a small town and there wasn't a lot of people to help me with all the packing an sorting...so it was me and the lady of the house poking away at all this stuff for quite awhile before I could find someone else who could devote a lot of time to sort and pack.

Donations were made to various charities, her family members, friends and to a church she use to attend.
It was nearly a year to make all of the house presentable... painting and deep cleaning were done and in the process of that it was discovered there was bad wiring and leaky plumbing, so all that needed to be replaced and I had to move her out of the house so all that could be done.

After all that was completed her home was kept orderly, she unfortunately was going down hill and was confined to her bed and could no longer walk, there were round the clock care and she died at home.
The rest of her possessions were auctioned off...none of her family wanted any more stuff because they'd gotten plenty of stuff when I'd put her place in order a few years prior to her passing.

If you're in a place where there's housecleaners, liquidators, estate auctioneers etc, have them come in to help you with this task.

 

[turkle]

My mother was an over the top hoarder, filling up her 4000 square foot home to the ceiling. As her only child, I was left with a terrible mess. She lived in another country, so I had only a few days to try to salvage anything from the mess. There was very little.

Because she never took care of the house, I chose to tear it down. It was only 10 years old, but completely ruined. I had dozens of trucks haul away tons of stuff to the dump.

Hopefully your mother wasn't as bad as mine. It's sad that the weight of it all falls on you. I hope you are able to salvage some things of value and let go of the rest. It was a huge weight lifted when I did.

 

[Little Lantern]

My parents weren't hoarders, but when they died, my brother donated their leftovers to charity. They were happy to come with their truck and remove everything from the house. We were happy, the charity was blessed, and hopefully some needy folks received a blessing as well.