What to feel???

[nzMum]

Hi,
This is my first time on here - love that its a chrsitian site!!! Well......just a lil background on me - I'm a mum of two beautiful girls, wife to an amazing man. My husband and I are the youth leaders at our church to an awesome bunch of growing young people. I am also a worship leader, dance group leader and I am a relieving teacher as well!!! Yes life is busy and we love it! BUT I'm just a little lost with myself at the moment.
At the end of November last year we found out that we were going to be expecting out third baby - this was planned and so we were all really happy with the news. When I was just over 10 weeks pregnant we found out that the baby had died and two weeks later I miscarried. This blew me away! We stayed with my parents for a week and I started to get myself back together again. But since then I have had this ....silent grief I guess that just won't disappear - I think I'm fine then it just so ever slightly all hits again! We are trying at the momnet to conceive again but even in the last few months we have had friends baby's born and two of my close friends also fall pregnant - I know its silly but it feels like everyone is getting what I want so badly.
I think I'm finding it hard too because the people I would normally go to when I'm feeling like this are all pregnant or have just had babies and I'm not sure if I could spill all my feelings onto them. Even my closest friend who we usually spend every weekend with - I feel fine but want to leave a room if conversation starts to head towards her pregnancy or babies. Maybe its jealously in a way but that is just not like me - I know God knows my heart and what I am longing for and if its to happen it will happen in His timing but I'm just finding this 'waiting' time really difficult. My husband understands but I don't think he realises how deep it is 'hurting' and I find it hard to help him understand. If anyone has anything to say ...I'd love to hear from you!!!

 

[rocklife]

am praying for you, I'm sorry about your loss. I believe it is perfectly natural to still be grieving a bit. I don't have much advice, I just wanted to share that I'm praying for you.

 

[Silver-winged Flyer]

Hi, and welcome!
My sister had a miscarriage and that was one of the worst days of my life. Although its never happened to me directly, in a smaller sense I know the feeling of loss that you've had. God does know exactly how you feel and His timing is perfect, just hold on to Him and trust Him to give you another baby when the time is right.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Hi,
This is my first time on here - love that its a chrsitian site!!! Well......just a lil background on me - I'm a mum of two beautiful girls, wife to an amazing man. My husband and I are the youth leaders at our church to an awesome bunch of growing young people. I am also a worship leader, dance group leader and I am a relieving teacher as well!!! Yes life is busy and we love it! BUT I'm just a little lost with myself at the moment.
At the end of November last year we found out that we were going to be expecting out third baby - this was planned and so we were all really happy with the news. When I was just over 10 weeks pregnant we found out that the baby had died and two weeks later I miscarried. This blew me away! We stayed with my parents for a week and I started to get myself back together again. But since then I have had this ....silent grief I guess that just won't disappear - I think I'm fine then it just so ever slightly all hits again! We are trying at the momnet to conceive again but even in the last few months we have had friends baby's born and two of my close friends also fall pregnant - I know its silly but it feels like everyone is getting what I want so badly.
I think I'm finding it hard too because the people I would normally go to when I'm feeling like this are all pregnant or have just had babies and I'm not sure if I could spill all my feelings onto them. Even my closest friend who we usually spend every weekend with - I feel fine but want to leave a room if conversation starts to head towards her pregnancy or babies. Maybe its jealously in a way but that is just not like me - I know God knows my heart and what I am longing for and if its to happen it will happen in His timing but I'm just finding this 'waiting' time really difficult. My husband understands but I don't think he realises how deep it is 'hurting' and I find it hard to help him understand. If anyone has anything to say ...I'd love to hear from you!!!

Sorry to hear that,

First off you have to forgive yourself, not your fault that it happened. Something happened between your body and fetus, nothing you could have done to change it.

God loves humility, he truly does. I will tell you best thing you can do is take your best friend and pull her to place just two of you. Tell her your feelings and don't be afraid of the emotions that follows. Yeah might seem selfish, but you gone thru a lot. EVEN CHURCH LEADERS ARE HUMAN! If you bury this inside, it is going to get worse. Slowly let your feelings out with your friends, just you need help grieving.

Keep hope and give your pregnancy worries to God. Pray to understand what he is teaching you and to allow you bring new child into this world. Be patient and forgive yourself as many times as possible.