What to do ??

[netal]

The main reason I joined these forums was to get some advice on this topic.

I met someone online about 6 months ago (it wasn't through a dating site, it was through an anxiety support forum)... we started chatting, and became friends. Then all of a sudden, we fell in love. He is recently divorced, and I have been through a series of abusive relationships. The trust we have in each other is helping us heal I think. At first, because we were just friends- God wasn't really in the picture... but as our feeling progressed, God has become quite central to our relationship. It is an absolutely amazing feeling- this person makes me feel complete. We were both happy to be single before we met- so I do believe that this is not a rebound thing for either of us.

The problem is this- we live on opposite sides of the world! I recently moved away from America (where he is)... I am in university here, but have no friends and don't have a church to attend. While he lives in a house he built, and his parents run a church. I have moved around a lot in my life. I have been looking into ways of how I could be with him- but nothing seems to be working out. I don't currently have the money (neither does he) to visit.

I'm very conflicted right now. It feels very much like this is God's will (I have prayed and prayed about it)... but the logistics of it are not working out. Is the answer patience? Patience is quite a weak point in my character- and I kind of think that this may be a way for him and I both to develop in that area. I am frustrated that things are so difficult- I want to be with him!

I really don't think I could ever give up on the idea of being with this man- I have dated plenty before, and I wish I never had- but he is something else... our souls just click.

I guess I just needed to vent a little. Any feedback/advice would be so greatly appreciated

Thanks for reading!!

 

[Kepa]

First of all. Why is he divorced? Did his wife commit adultery? If the answer is no, then it is wrong to marry him. Because he would be committing adultery and so would you (Mat 19:9)

 

[DaveKerwin]

don't go off of circumstances to determine God's will. Go with the leading of the holy spirit, pray for much wisdom and guidance.

I also want to know why he was divorced, and I want to know how you got into these abusive relationships. Are you both sold out to your faith?

 

[netal]

First of all. Why is he divorced? Did his wife commit adultery? If the answer is no, then it is wrong to marry him. Because he would be committing adultery and so would you (Mat 19:9)

Yes, she did.

 

[netal]

don't go off of circumstances to determine God's will. Go with the leading of the holy spirit, pray for much wisdom and guidance.

I also want to know why he was divorced, and I want to know how you got into these abusive relationships. Are you both sold out to your faith?

Thank you for that advice. The difficult circumstances just made me think this couldn't be God's will. I have been praying, and will continue to do so- for wisdom and guidance.

What do you mean 'sold out to your faith'? Left it behind?

His wife cheated on him- more than once. He forgave her the first time, and wishes he had not.

For a few years, I turned away from God. I grew up with a very abusive father (who makes a big song and dance about the fact that he is a Christian- so for awhile, I thought God must agree with that behavior- and so on)... during that period of time, I guess I was trying to compensate for the lack of love I thought I had. Once I became aware of what I was doing, it was easy to stop the behavior. I am much healthier now. I have been in Christian counseling for years. Being single for a couple of years has helped too.

 

[DaveKerwin]

Ok, so the divorce was biblical, and your behavior was ended once you saw the truth behind your actions. I would say you are ready to date. Has his divorce been grieved fully?

The question about faith is basically this: Have you and him both fully committed your lives to Chirst? Are you both living for him? Have you two been baptized?

The distance issue can be corrected, schooling is only temporary. While you are separated, think and pray more, and be open to God's leading. Of course it is always incredibly difficult to hear God's voice. But when you keep in touch with God through Bible study and prayer, you will recognize his voice that much easier.

 

[netal]

Ok, so the divorce was biblical, and your behavior was ended once you saw the truth behind your actions. I would say you are ready to date. Has his divorce been grieved fully?

The question about faith is basically this: Have you and him both fully committed your lives to Chirst? Are you both living for him? Have you two been baptized?

The distance issue can be corrected, schooling is only temporary. While you are separated, think and pray more, and be open to God's leading. Of course it is always incredibly difficult to hear God's voice. But when you keep in touch with God through Bible study and prayer, you will recognize his voice that much easier.

We have talked a lot about the divorce- and he has told me about the grieving process he went though. It does sound like he is ready to move on.

Yes, we are both baptized. I do believe we are both living for Christ.

I have been praying and studying the Bible. I have noticed that there are periods where I clearly hear God, where it is obvious what I am to do... then, there are times where He is almost silent. I realize that this is because of me, not God (I don't think He is silent at all, I think I just have trouble hearing Him) and so it is a bit frustrating. I will be persistent though.

Thank you for the reply, it really helped