What to do when you've been as kind as can be, and they still torment you?

[AllDayFaith]

I thought that by being kind and caring to the people who try to hurt me, that they would eventually become a friend. But after years of trying I am at a loss for what my next move should be. Do you guys have any thoughts about this type of situation?

 

[Jeshu]

I thought that by being kind and caring to the people who try to hurt me, that they would eventually become a friend. But after years of trying I am at a loss for what my next move should be. Do you guys have any thoughts about this type of situation?

You know some people are just like swine and they trample all over our pearls its best to understand that the toxicity that lives in such people is best avoided. You alone can judge if you have been throwing your pearls before the swine or tried to obey Jesus and love your enemies. Loving your enemies doesn't mean we let them walk all over us though, but rather that we pray for their souls no matter how nasty they are.

Peace

 

[AllDayFaith]

Loving your enemies doesn't mean we let them walk all over us though

You are so right, I have done so much for them, and they still have no respect for me. But I am content to know that they cannot decide my fate, only God can judge me

 

[pdudgeon]

Could be that you are dealing with narcissists, or you are in an abusive relationship.
There's nothing wrong with being kind and caring; those are both good traits. But a friendship requires caring on both sides; not just yours.

So if you've known these people for years and their behavior hasn't changed or matured as you both have aged, then it's time to step back and lessen your involvement in their lives.

 

[AllDayFaith]

it's time to step back and lessen your involvement in their lives

Yea I have to surround myself with good Christians who aren't toxic or abusive

 

[Aquatic Waves]

You will eventually find people who would care for you. Idk when but it will happen. Just pray and have faith in the lord

 

[AllDayFaith]

You will eventually find people who would care for you. Idk when but it will happen. Just pray and have faith in the lord

This makes me feel better. I just have to be patient

 

[pdudgeon]

Yea I have to surround myself with good Christians who aren't toxic or abusive

I would agree that you should surround yourself with good, helpful Christians while you are healing from this abuse. But when you have reached the point that you are healed, then is the time to begin once more to help others.
And this time you'll be able to recognize toxicity when you see it, and steer clear of it.

 

[AllDayFaith]

steer clear of it

I appreciate your kind words

 

[Jude1:3Contendforthefaith]

I thought that by being kind and caring to the people who try to hurt me, that they would eventually become a friend. But after years of trying I am at a loss for what my next move should be. Do you guys have any thoughts about this type of situation?

I know what you mean. Just try to get away from them if you can.

Some people are just plain evil.


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[AllDayFaith]

Just try to get away from them if you can

I have learned that the grass isn't greener on the other side. I have moved away and have found even more evil. I just pray that God has a nice place for me to live when I'm ready to move on with my life.

 

[Jude1:3Contendforthefaith]

It's pretty sad how unkind people can be even from just a humanistic stand point.


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[AllDayFaith]

It's pretty sad how unkind people can be even from just a humanistic stand point.

I guess that's why God gave us His Word in the Bible. We would not know how to treat each other if God didn't show us how. I also think that some of us get so hurt, that we want to hurt others to make ourselves feel better. I am a new creation now that I'm seeking the kingdom, so I don't suffer from that flaw anymore.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I thought that by being kind and caring to the people who try to hurt me, that they would eventually become a friend. But after years of trying I am at a loss for what my next move should be. Do you guys have any thoughts about this type of situation?

When Jesus sent out the 70 into the villages to heal the sick, cast out demons and preach the good news of the kingdom, He told them that if people did not accept them, they were to depart from them and wipe the dust off their feet against them.

Perhaps after doing all you can for the people who are tormenting you, it is time for you to walk away from them, disassociate from them and mix with people who will appreciate and respect you for what you are doing for them.

 

[AllDayFaith]

it is time for you to walk away from them, disassociate from them and mix with people who will appreciate and respect you

Yea that's the dream, but where do such people exist? I've lived in NJ, NC, CA, and FL, but still have bumped into the wrong people. I guess I have to wait on the Lord to guide me to the right people

 

[Sketcher]

I thought that by being kind and caring to the people who try to hurt me, that they would eventually become a friend. But after years of trying I am at a loss for what my next move should be. Do you guys have any thoughts about this type of situation?

Withdraw from them completely. They had plenty of chance to come around.

 

[AllDayFaith]

Withdraw from them completely. They had plenty of chance to come around.

Absolutely, I can only stand for so much. I deserve better

 

[Job3315]

I thought that by being kind and caring to the people who try to hurt me, that they would eventually become a friend. But after years of trying I am at a loss for what my next move should be. Do you guys have any thoughts about this type of situation?

If you understand God's love for you and someone is tormenting you, then they don't know God and your most important job is to pray for them. But don't pray because you need them, pray because they need God.

 

[Anguspure]

I thought that by being kind and caring to the people who try to hurt me, that they would eventually become a friend. But after years of trying I am at a loss for what my next move should be. Do you guys have any thoughts about this type of situation?

The motto of this world: Nullum beneficium est impunitum

 

[visionary]

I have to ask... since you have indicated that in the course of years, you have moved to many states and still seem to find the wrong people circling you. …. Is there something about you that attracts these type of people? Do you have the big L on your forehead, sucker written across it, are you weak and give in easily, easily manipulated, a target for this kind of treatment, are you inviting this unwittingly?... Are you doing the same things expecting different results? I would prayerfully look at what it is that you say, do, or think that makes you the target for these nasty people to come and take advantage of you. It is time for you to say "no more" "nope" "not going to happen around me" "I have had enough" "I have better things to do" And build yourself a new world where these people are not welcome. It is time to stop being the nice guy and more like Yeshua who called these type of people "vipers" and didn't play into their hands.