What to do now?

[Peculiarone]

So I have been in LDR with my guy for 6 months. We have been having some problems with the distance and not being able to see each other as often as we would like.

But now I have a friend. He is a christian and a leader of a church I know about. He is 12 years my senior but he is a perfect gentleman. You can tell that God has worked on him and the refiners fire and he is now gold. He prays with me and shares with me. I am begining to have feelings for him. I may even think that he is someone I see myself with for the rest of my life. He is divorced with 3 kids but has been celibate for the last 7 years. He is such a Man of God believe me. He just live in the next state too.

Oh my what to do now? My current bf is in Jamaica and doing his own thing ..plus he is a non christian now. And here lies before me is the ultimate man of my dreams. I don't know what to do?

He says we should pray and see what God has instore..my bf accuses me of possibly seeing someone else. (I also told him that I am ready to be a fully committed christian again) he doesn't say nothing.

I dont know what to do now. I am taking it slowly and letting time have its course.

Oh my....what to do? think or say about this current situation?

 

[chiyongam]

I am really in the same boat as you . Currently with a non believer . I have been trying to get my life back to God. I met someone who is nine years my senior. A wonderful man of God. I couldn't believe that such a person existed. I had to ask myself whether i was ready to get into another relationship. Or whether what I was really longing for was a closer relationship with God. That is what I am battling with right now.

 

[gracefaith]

Does this "Man of God" also have feelings for you? I think it is very easy to fall for your mentors because they are so inspiring and make you feel safe, but more often than not this is a one-sided infatuation.

If you feel that things are coming to end between you and your BF, that's okay and don't feel guilty about it. It is to be expected that your BF suspects someone else because it sounds like there is:GOD!

I went through the same thing when I broke up with a long distance BF. I just needed time to pursue God and just happened to have a very good guy-friend at the time. My BF was just obsessed with the idea that I had cheated on him. Truth is, I think most people understand being left for someone else. Being left for God, is somewhat unbearable.

My advice: Pursue God with a vengence! Don't think about where it will end. Grab on and go!

 

[MagicStar723]

It sounds like you may not be ready to be in *any* relationship.. and you should possibly be taking time out for yourself to reconnect with God and find out where He intends your life to be going right now.

Its probably not fair to stay with your boyfriend and have eyes for another man.. and probably not fair to leave your boyfriend in a rush and try to be with this new man in your life. I would say you need time out just for you right now, before you can continue on in any healthy relationship.

~ ~

Couldn't agree more.

 

[Glorianna]

It sounds like you may not be ready to be in *any* relationship.. and you should possibly be taking time out for yourself to reconnect with God and find out where He intends your life to be going right now.

Its probably not fair to stay with your boyfriend and have eyes for another man.. and probably not fair to leave your boyfriend in a rush and try to be with this new man in your life. I would say you need time out just for you right now, before you can continue on in any healthy relationship.

~ ~

As usual, I agree with Blue Impulse. Pray about it. Talk to your current boyfriend about it. Try to do God's will.

 

[MagicStar723]

Try to do God's will.

Definitelyyyyy.
But I am sorry to say that it more than likely doesn't involve a non-believer.

 

[Peculiarone]

@Blue Impulse..good advice.

I will continue to pray about it. My answer so far, is not to be rushing in to anything but to take things S L O W L Y! He is a man of God as well and we are both praying seperately.

My bf won't understand. No sense in praying with him about. Com'on now.

So I'll wait on the Lord.
As my 'friend' says..for clarity and direction.

 

[YahwehLove]

@Blue Impulse..good advice.

I will continue to pray about it. My answer so far, is not to be rushing in to anything but to take things S L O W L Y! He is a man of God as well and we are both praying seperately.

My bf won't understand. No sense in praying with him about. Com'on now.

So I'll wait on the Lord.
As my 'friend' says..for clarity and direction.

Slowly and in prayer is the way to go.
It could be that God led you two together before you made a mistake of marrying the other man.
God has His own timing in things.

Just pray and take your time.
It sounds like this man you know isnt rushing anything.

My gf and i lived 600 miles apart when we met online.
It was nearly a year before I met her in person.
I made the 600 mile move so we could ''date'' and see how things go.

I just bought the rings this month.
She told me today that she IS MARRYING ME

But you know, we've still not kissed yet.
Still havent held hands hardly at all.
We are taking things very slowly and trying to make sure its all very proper.
Shes quite beatiful and has a very attractive shape so the desires are present at times.
But there is no way Im blowing this over hormones.
I want to be a perfect gentleman for her and treat her like a lady.

If youre gentlman friend is the one, then God will help you thru this and this man will want to do the right thing.

 

[Sketcher]

According to the Bible, since he is divorced he should remain celibate or be reconciled to his wife. You are not an option for him, so he cannot be an option for you.

“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery." - Matthew 5:31-32

"To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife." - 1 Corinthians 7:10-11

 

[Peculiarone]

According to the Bible, since he is divorced he should remain celibate or be reconciled to his wife. You are not an option for him, so he cannot be an option for you.

“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery." - Matthew 5:31-32

"To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife." - 1 Corinthians 7:10-11

..and you telling me this is suppose to do what? You donot know what went on during his marriage..so if you are trying to tell me something with this post..do so.

 

[Peculiarone]

Slowly and in prayer is the way to go.
It could be that God led you two together before you made a mistake of marrying the other man.
God has His own timing in things.

Just pray and take your time.
It sounds like this man you know isnt rushing anything.

My gf and i lived 600 miles apart when we met online.
It was nearly a year before I met her in person.
I made the 600 mile move so we could ''date'' and see how things go.

I just bought the rings this month.
She told me today that she IS MARRYING ME

But you know, we've still not kissed yet.
Still havent held hands hardly at all.
We are taking things very slowly and trying to make sure its all very proper.
Shes quite beatiful and has a very attractive shape so the desires are present at times.
But there is no way Im blowing this over hormones.
I want to be a perfect gentleman for her and treat her like a lady.

If youre gentlman friend is the one, then God will help you thru this and this man will want to do the right thing.

Wow, amazing. THANKS for this advice. It gave me hope to my crying and confused heart.

He is quite a price, you have no idea. But with time...and prayer...we'll see.

 

[Sketcher]

..and you telling me this is suppose to do what? You donot know what went on during his marriage..so if you are trying to tell me something with this post..do so.

I'm telling you that unless you know for sure that she cheated on him and "married" someone else you need to drop this pursuit right now lest you commit adultery. And even if that did happen, I'm still not sure if God would approve. The ONLY conditions where God could POSSIBLY approve of remarraige after divorce are if she cheated on him or if she left him because of his faith. Divorce for any other reason is not respected by God. Unless you know for sure that his divorce met one of those two conditions, in His eyes you are going after a married man.

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

Twisted, bear in mind that belief is not universal among Christians. That is merely your interpretation of the Scriptures. There are other verses that contradict the belief that all remarriages are adultery and whatnot. But, any time you're feeling things for a divorced person, especially one with children, there is alot to take into consideration. Are you ready to become an instant "mother" to these three children? Can you deal with him having constant contact with the mother of the children? I agree with Blue Impulse. Personally, I would not be in a relationship with the other guy. That could be trouble, especially since he's lost his faith and he's so far away. Alot of factors working against the relationship. As far as this other guy, I wouldn't try and pursue anything right away. That way you'll know for sure you aren't merely using him as the rebound guy.

 

[Sketcher]

Twisted, bear in mind that belief is not universal among Christians. That is merely your interpretation of the Scriptures. There are other verses that contradict the belief that all remarriages are adultery and whatnot.

Literal interpretation of Scripture should be universal among Christians, but for those who want to brush this off, I'll let them answer to God. I have done my part by reminding people of what the Bible says.

 

[Peculiarone]

Interesting replies. However, I don't want to put their business on Front Street, but....he has been a single dad for over 8 years now and his exwife left him with the kids for substance abuse. So he has found peace and moved on with his life. He is every very picky and is asking God to choose. So on that grounds for his divorce..it is quite rational and fine.

Next, Mr. Ja is not too receptive to my Christdom lately and it has cause problems for us so I think I will part.

Next... I am rekindling the flame with God and thats my focus now. Mr Wonderful is just my friend...for now.

May God have his way...and let time tell.

 

[FaithfulServant]

Literal interpretation of Scripture should be universal among Christians, but for those who want to brush this off, I'll let them answer to God. I have done my part by reminding people of what the Bible says.

I agree, the Bible says what it says. Scripture will never contradict itself, it is God's word.

I don't believe you should ever not post scripture just because it is not "universally accepted" because NOTHING is universally accepted.

 

[JVD]

Peculiarone...even if the bible didn't say what it does about divorce and remarraige you need to think about this.

Several problems. 1. If you marry this man his children will become your responsibility but you will never be their "real" mom. There will always be tension in the home because of this issue. 2. These children have a "real" mom that will be a part of their life...and YOUR LIFE, for the rest of your married life. You will never be rid of her. And the childrens maternal grandparents. 3. There are always two sides to every story. Get the other side on why the marriage broke up.

On the other hand...your boyfriend in Jamaica needs to become your ex.

So now you are free to grow in God and worry about men after you are strong in the Lord.

 

[Peculiarone]

Thanks for your response as well JVD. He is almost my ex.

Yes I do know the responsibilities of nurturing hi kids... I am partially ready for that. But now however, I am moving slowly as I sai dbefore and having my focus more on God.