Hello all, I'm new to the forum and hate to be a burden on the first post, but I'm really at a loss right now.
My brother started using drugs when he was 13 years old and he has not stopped since then...he's 26 now. He has heavily used for pretty much the entire time. I know he started off smoking pot and then went on to doing ecstacy, heroin, cocaine, and just about anything else he could get his hands on (on a side note he was shooting up for quite some time as well).
He has overdosed so many times that I can't even keep track anymore...as far as I can remember his first overdose was an attempted suicide when he was about 14 (he took a whole bottle of tylenol PM), which ended a very good vacation very fast.
I have also had to take him to the hospital for overdosing while shooting cocaine more than once as well as various other things. He's even overdosed on Robotussin once...what scared me the most about the whole thing is he would do this and get out on the road and drive...wasn't really scared that he'd kill himself, but more that he would kill an innocent person.
I know what some are thinking right now...why not rehab?? Well, he's been in rehab about 6 or more times. Only once did he stay the entire period and it didn't work. All the other times he convinced my mother and father to bail him out of there for various reasons...the last time he was in rehab, he was there for not even a whole day and he called my mom crying saying that all the guys there confronted him asking him if he was a Christian and he replied "yes" so they informed him they were all devil worshippers and they were going to beat him up...my mother believes this and goes and picks him up and brings him home.
The last thing I know he was addicted to was prescription medication...namely Codene. He does this thing where he goes and sees about 10 different doctors and gets prescriptions for all kinds of Codene medications and then goes to a bunch of different pharmacies. I know at one point he told me that he had been taking so much Codene that he'd have to take about 20+ loritabs at one time and then drink on top of it just to get high...
Also his big thing here lately has been huffing. He gets these "whippits" from websites off the net. A buddy of mine went on vacation with him and said when they got to the hotel and started bringing in the luggage he had like 3 cases of these whippits and they were putting down one after another...Also I was up at our hunting camp a few weeks ago and found a bunch of cans of redi-whip in the fridge...all the nitrous had been sucked out of them, but the whip cream was still in tact. I confronted him about this and he denied using the nitrous and told me that he was clean.
Anyhow, this brings me to the place I'm at now. Last week he broke a rib. Went to the doctor and got it checked out and he claims they told him that he had lung cancer, which would not suprise me given he smokes about 3 packs of Marlboro reds a day along with smoking crack, pot, and God knows what else. The thing that does suprise me is once again they have given him something with Codene in it...he came by the other day and was visibly intoxicated...BADLY.
Just for reference sake me and my brother live on the same street...
My buddy was driving down the street on Saturday to help me work on my truck. He saw my brother stumbling down the street and stopped to talk to him. He noticed that as soon as he walked up to the window he smelled like alcohol and that he could barely talk. After they got done talking my buddy came over and we started working on my truck. A few minutes later my brother walks up asking if he could help. I could see that he was stumbling and couldn't speak properly so I told him "I'm pretty sure we've got it under control". When I said that he blows up and jumps in my face yelling at me and cussing, amonst many other things. Now I'm pretty embarassed because I have a very good friend sitting here and my neighbors are outside...not to mention the fact that my 2 year old daughter is inside the house probably hearing all of this. I asked him if he was drunk which just made him even more mad and he proceeded to walk down the street, stopping every few steps to turn around and cuss at me some more.
The following evening I call my mother to talk to her on a non-related matter and could tell something was wrong with her when she answered the phone. I asked her what was wrong and she said "I heard how you treated your brother...he told me". I asked exactly what I had done and she informed me that according to him I had called him a drunk and a drug addict and told him to get away from my house, which was not true. I tried to explain myself, but she wouldn't hear of it...I even told her that there were several witnesses that saw exactly what happened and that he was not telling the truth, but she wouldn't hear it. Two days later I speak with my father who seems to be mad as well. They believe that I treated him badly...
As far as my parents...they have been convinced for a long time that he is not on drugs. Everyone that knows my brother will tell you that he is, but they won't hear any of it. They always insist that I am a horrible person because I don't go out of my way to "make friends" with him, but the way I see it is that he brings too much bad stuff to the table and he has no intentions of changing so I prefer to stand my distance.
Just for the record I have tried plenty of times in the past to help him, but it never works because he won't try to quit because he doesn't want to quit. He's done it for so long and got so good at lying to my parents about it that he has them convinced...I know at one point he was court ordered to undergo therapy. He went to a great therapist and after only about 3 sessions she refused to see him anymore...I talked to her about it and she told me that he has no intention to get better or even try so it was a waste of her time and his to undergo therapy.
The main thing for me and the reason I keep my distance is because for a while he was a dealer and he was drawing in a lot of unfavorable people. I don't want those people around me so I stay away. He's made it evident he has no intent to change. The biggest thing for me though is I have a great wife and a beautiful 2 year old daughter that means more to me than life itself and I can't subject her to these kinds of things.
I guess question #1 is...am I a bad person for distancing myself from my own brother? Should I go out of my way to help him after all this even if means I have to subject my daughter to this?
Question #2 is...how do I convince my parents that he is a user? They believe everything he says, which is normally lies about me that causes rifts between us. If it's true that he does have lung cancer and that he is dying I fear that it will only get much worse...how can I maintain the peace between my family and my parents?
I know this is a very long post, but please understand this is not even the tip of the iceburg and it's been something I've been dealing with for 13 years now...it's just becoming too much to bare...
My brother started using drugs when he was 13 years old and he has not stopped since then...he's 26 now. He has heavily used for pretty much the entire time. I know he started off smoking pot and then went on to doing ecstacy, heroin, cocaine, and just about anything else he could get his hands on (on a side note he was shooting up for quite some time as well).
He has overdosed so many times that I can't even keep track anymore...as far as I can remember his first overdose was an attempted suicide when he was about 14 (he took a whole bottle of tylenol PM), which ended a very good vacation very fast.
I have also had to take him to the hospital for overdosing while shooting cocaine more than once as well as various other things. He's even overdosed on Robotussin once...what scared me the most about the whole thing is he would do this and get out on the road and drive...wasn't really scared that he'd kill himself, but more that he would kill an innocent person.
I know what some are thinking right now...why not rehab?? Well, he's been in rehab about 6 or more times. Only once did he stay the entire period and it didn't work. All the other times he convinced my mother and father to bail him out of there for various reasons...the last time he was in rehab, he was there for not even a whole day and he called my mom crying saying that all the guys there confronted him asking him if he was a Christian and he replied "yes" so they informed him they were all devil worshippers and they were going to beat him up...my mother believes this and goes and picks him up and brings him home.
The last thing I know he was addicted to was prescription medication...namely Codene. He does this thing where he goes and sees about 10 different doctors and gets prescriptions for all kinds of Codene medications and then goes to a bunch of different pharmacies. I know at one point he told me that he had been taking so much Codene that he'd have to take about 20+ loritabs at one time and then drink on top of it just to get high...
Also his big thing here lately has been huffing. He gets these "whippits" from websites off the net. A buddy of mine went on vacation with him and said when they got to the hotel and started bringing in the luggage he had like 3 cases of these whippits and they were putting down one after another...Also I was up at our hunting camp a few weeks ago and found a bunch of cans of redi-whip in the fridge...all the nitrous had been sucked out of them, but the whip cream was still in tact. I confronted him about this and he denied using the nitrous and told me that he was clean.
Anyhow, this brings me to the place I'm at now. Last week he broke a rib. Went to the doctor and got it checked out and he claims they told him that he had lung cancer, which would not suprise me given he smokes about 3 packs of Marlboro reds a day along with smoking crack, pot, and God knows what else. The thing that does suprise me is once again they have given him something with Codene in it...he came by the other day and was visibly intoxicated...BADLY.
Just for reference sake me and my brother live on the same street...
My buddy was driving down the street on Saturday to help me work on my truck. He saw my brother stumbling down the street and stopped to talk to him. He noticed that as soon as he walked up to the window he smelled like alcohol and that he could barely talk. After they got done talking my buddy came over and we started working on my truck. A few minutes later my brother walks up asking if he could help. I could see that he was stumbling and couldn't speak properly so I told him "I'm pretty sure we've got it under control". When I said that he blows up and jumps in my face yelling at me and cussing, amonst many other things. Now I'm pretty embarassed because I have a very good friend sitting here and my neighbors are outside...not to mention the fact that my 2 year old daughter is inside the house probably hearing all of this. I asked him if he was drunk which just made him even more mad and he proceeded to walk down the street, stopping every few steps to turn around and cuss at me some more.
The following evening I call my mother to talk to her on a non-related matter and could tell something was wrong with her when she answered the phone. I asked her what was wrong and she said "I heard how you treated your brother...he told me". I asked exactly what I had done and she informed me that according to him I had called him a drunk and a drug addict and told him to get away from my house, which was not true. I tried to explain myself, but she wouldn't hear of it...I even told her that there were several witnesses that saw exactly what happened and that he was not telling the truth, but she wouldn't hear it. Two days later I speak with my father who seems to be mad as well. They believe that I treated him badly...
As far as my parents...they have been convinced for a long time that he is not on drugs. Everyone that knows my brother will tell you that he is, but they won't hear any of it. They always insist that I am a horrible person because I don't go out of my way to "make friends" with him, but the way I see it is that he brings too much bad stuff to the table and he has no intentions of changing so I prefer to stand my distance.
Just for the record I have tried plenty of times in the past to help him, but it never works because he won't try to quit because he doesn't want to quit. He's done it for so long and got so good at lying to my parents about it that he has them convinced...I know at one point he was court ordered to undergo therapy. He went to a great therapist and after only about 3 sessions she refused to see him anymore...I talked to her about it and she told me that he has no intention to get better or even try so it was a waste of her time and his to undergo therapy.
The main thing for me and the reason I keep my distance is because for a while he was a dealer and he was drawing in a lot of unfavorable people. I don't want those people around me so I stay away. He's made it evident he has no intent to change. The biggest thing for me though is I have a great wife and a beautiful 2 year old daughter that means more to me than life itself and I can't subject her to these kinds of things.
I guess question #1 is...am I a bad person for distancing myself from my own brother? Should I go out of my way to help him after all this even if means I have to subject my daughter to this?
Question #2 is...how do I convince my parents that he is a user? They believe everything he says, which is normally lies about me that causes rifts between us. If it's true that he does have lung cancer and that he is dying I fear that it will only get much worse...how can I maintain the peace between my family and my parents?
I know this is a very long post, but please understand this is not even the tip of the iceburg and it's been something I've been dealing with for 13 years now...it's just becoming too much to bare...
