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What should I do?

princess34

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I am a 38 year old female and I feel like I am not living life. I feel as though I am existing and not really living a whole life. I feel like my life has been full of deaths, disappointments, delays, denials, and deceit. I dont see any signs of good promises manifesting for me. I have seen worldly and nonbelievers get blessed and people that are younger than me. Every other day I always hear about somebody and their blessings that happened for them. I just feel like I have wasted a lot of years in life and people who are younger than me have received blessings. What should I do?
 

d taylor

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Markers 2.jpg

But many who are first will be last, and the last first.
 
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timothyu

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I hear your pain. One cannot even begin to comprehend in order to make suggestions, but for instance, as a hobby landscape photographer I have found if I focus too much attention in one direction in front of me I may be missing something much better beside or behind me. That is simply to say often how we go about things or in immersing ourselves in the ways of others may be the cause of a lot of our strife. God said the ways of this world are not His ways. That simply means a life of self, which is self interest, self gain, self service, self determination, self justification etc. is the cause of all man's woes, and He suggests living in the opposite way, the way of His Kingdom. It may not be you but the influence of those around you can affect you also. It is difficult for anything to work out in a system built on self. We can't get unless we first give. I'm sorry if that does not apply and is of no use.

PS Many people today are noticing the world is rapidly going haywire..
 
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Rachel20

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I have seen worldly and nonbelievers get blessed

Job and Asaph saw the same thing, but look at the conclusion they both came to below. Things aren't always what they seem.

[[A Psalm of Asaph.]] Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as are of a clean heart.
But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped.
For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
For there are no bands in their death: but their strength is firm.
They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men.
Therefore pride compasseth them about as a chain; violence covereth them as a garment.
Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish.
They are corrupt, and speak wickedly concerning oppression: they speak loftily.
They set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through the earth.
Therefore his people return hither: and waters of a full cup are wrung out to them.
And they say, How doth God know? and is there knowledge in the most High?
Behold, these are the ungodly, who prosper in the world; they increase in riches.
Verily I have cleansed my heart in vain, and washed my hands in innocency.
For all the day long have I been plagued, and chastened every morning.
If I say, I will speak thus; behold, I should offend against the generation of thy children.
When I thought to know this, it was too painful for me;
Until I went into the sanctuary of God; then understood I their end.
Surely thou didst set them in slippery places: thou castedst them down into destruction.
How are they brought into desolation, as in a moment! they are utterly consumed with terrors.
Psalm 73:1-19

Why do the wicked live and become old,
Yes, become mighty in power?
Their descendants are established with them in their sight,
And their offspring before their eyes.
Their houses are safe from fear,
Neither is the rod of God upon them.
Their bull breeds without failure;
Their cow calves without miscarriage.
They send forth their little ones like a flock,
And their children dance.
They sing to the tambourine and harp,
And rejoice to the sound of the flute.
They spend their days in wealth,
And in a moment go down to the grave.
Yet they say to God, ‘Depart from us,
For we do not desire the knowledge of Your ways.
Who is the Almighty, that we should serve Him?
And what profit do we have if we pray to Him?’
Indeed their prosperity is not in their hand;
The counsel of the wicked is far from me.
“How often is the lamp of the wicked put out?
How often does their destruction come upon them,
The sorrows God distributes in His anger?
They are like straw before the wind,
And like chaff that a storm carries away.
They say, ‘God lays up one’s iniquity for his children’;
Let Him recompense him, that he may know it.
Let his eyes see his destruction,
And let him drink of the wrath of the Almighty.
For what does he care about his household after him,
When the number of his months is cut in half?
“Can anyone teach God knowledge,
Since He judges those on high?
One dies in his full strength,
Being wholly at ease and secure;
His pails are full of milk,
And the marrow of his bones is moist.
Another man dies in the bitterness of his soul,
Never having eaten with pleasure.
They lie down alike in the dust,
And worms cover them.
“Look, I know your thoughts,
And the schemes with which you would wrong me.
For you say,
‘Where is the house of the prince?
And where is the tent,
The dwelling place of the wicked?’
Have you not asked those who travel the road?
And do you not know their signs?
For the wicked are reserved for the day of doom;
They shall be brought out on the day of wrath.
Job 21:7-30
 
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trophy33

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I just feel like I have wasted a lot of years in life and people who are younger than me have received blessings. What should I do?
Stop wasting your life and learn why they are blessed while you are not... did they make some wiser decisions regarding dating, family, career?

Without specification why you are not well-content with your life its hard to give a more specific advice.
 
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bèlla

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Comparison is detrimental to the mind and heart. You’re viewing the situation from the outside. Age doesn’t beget blessings. Most of our experiences are the result of decisions and circumstances. Some are more equipped than others. But we all have hardships.

On a personal note, I’ve dealt with this in friendships and it contributed to their demise. I encourage you to seek the Lord in prayer and lay your burdens in His lap. Release the frustration, pain, and discontent. It will worsen your condition and deprive you of support.

In a roundabout way it comes across as deservedness. I deserve this or you don’t deserve that. It may not be your intention but its difficult for the hearer.

We have to learn to rejoice with others. When we’re without. When we’re waiting. And when we’re uncertain. If the only time we celebrate is when we experience the same. What are we saying? Is that love?
 
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Sketcher

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I am a 38 year old female and I feel like I am not living life. I feel as though I am existing and not really living a whole life. I feel like my life has been full of deaths, disappointments, delays, denials, and deceit. I dont see any signs of good promises manifesting for me. I have seen worldly and nonbelievers get blessed and people that are younger than me. Every other day I always hear about somebody and their blessings that happened for them. I just feel like I have wasted a lot of years in life and people who are younger than me have received blessings. What should I do?
I've lived that too, and in some ways I'm still living it. God doesn't bless people equally. He doesn't care about our happiness as much as we do, and we don't care about our holiness as much as he does. We follow him not because of promises of blessing in this life, but because it's part of who we are as those who were born again and entered into a relationship with him. It's not without reward, but we don't define which rewards we get, or when we get them. Which "good promises" had you been waiting for that are actual, Biblical promises?

This should not be taken as an excuse to just commit sins that you've been saying no to. You don't bless yourself that way, you burden yourself that way. It's one of the dumbest things a Christian can do.
 
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timothyu

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Every other day I always hear about somebody and their blessings that happened for them.
It's like the old saying of be a blessing to others. You may not feel the rewards here, but you are building a great resume for later, possibly here and definitely in the Kingdom. I know, not much help in getting over the isolation now, but hang in there. We are all being groomed in some way for purposes we can't even comprehend until they happen. Consider you have been blessed if indeed God has a purpose for you.
 
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Albion

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Princess, I used to think much like you are describing. But then I realized that most people have experienced heart-rending tragedies, losses, injustices, and the like, BUT they don't often don't talk about them because they hurt so much.

Not surprisingly, the good fortune that they've experienced is more likely to be talked about or else it just "shows" by way of the homes they live in, jobs they hold or etc.. And so the rest of us know about it and think it's "what those people have experienced in life."

At 38, you have most of your life to live and the chance to make several new starts. Many people would love to change places with you.
 
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Norbert L

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I am a 38 year old female and I feel like I am not living life. I feel as though I am existing and not really living a whole life. I feel like my life has been full of deaths, disappointments, delays, denials, and deceit. I dont see any signs of good promises manifesting for me. I have seen worldly and nonbelievers get blessed and people that are younger than me. Every other day I always hear about somebody and their blessings that happened for them. I just feel like I have wasted a lot of years in life and people who are younger than me have received blessings. What should I do?
Make a bucket list. Finding an enjoyable hobby is an option too. One day at a time is an often used scripture.
 
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St_Worm2

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I always hear about somebody and their blessings that happened for them. I just feel like I have wasted a lot of years in life and people who are younger than me have received blessings. What should I do?
Hello Princess34, you've received some excellent advice here, and in direct answer to your OP question, I'd like to echo what @bekkilyn said, take a look at what Psalms 37 has to say (particularly v4).

Psalms 37
4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

This verse, as I'm sure you've already noticed, is a command with a promise attached to it, the key to which (to getting your heart's desire, that is) is to focus all of your attention on 'delighting yourself in Him', and none of your attention on the stuff that you think that you want from Him.

As a bit of an admonition concerning this verse, be careful to correctly understand what the command half of the verse is telling you to do, to "delight ~yourself~ in Him". If you attempt to do otherwise (if you try to “delight ~Him~" instead), then He will not fulfill the promise half of the verse. His love for us never comes in the form of a quid pro quo (IOW, He is not, nor will He ever be, a Cosmic Sugar-Daddy :preach:).

Praying for you!

God bless you!!

--David
p.s. - here are some Christian quotes, mostly from Elisabeth Elliot. I will give you several, hoping that at least one or two of them will prove to be helpful to you in some way :)

"The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances" ~Missionary Elisabeth Elliot

"Do you often feel like parched ground, unable to produce anything worthwhile? I do. When I am in need of refreshment, it isn't easy to think of the needs of others. But I have found that if, instead of praying for my own comfort and satisfaction, I ask the Lord to enable me to give to others, an amazing thing often happens - I find my own needs wonderfully met. Refreshment comes in ways I would never have thought of, both for others, and then, incidentally, for myself." ~Missionary Elisabeth Elliot

"God never withholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. He never denies our heart's desire except to give us something better" ~Missionary Elisabeth Elliot


"This hard place in which you perhaps find yourself is the very place in which God is giving you opportunity to look only to Him, to spend time in prayer, and to learn long-suffering, gentleness, meekness - in short, to learn the depths of the love that Christ Himself has poured out on all of us." ~Missionary Elisabeth Elliot


"Sometimes we want things we were not meant to have. Because he loves us, the Father says no. Faith trusts that no. Faith is willing not to have what God is not willing to give. Furthermore, faith does not insist upon an explanation. It is enough to know His promises to give what is good-he knows so much more about us than we do." ~Missionary Elisabeth Elliot


"To love God is to love His will. It is to wait quietly for life to be measured by One who knows us through and through. It is to be content with His timing and His wise appointment." ~Missionary Elisabeth Elliot


"Be obedient, even when you do not know where obedience may lead you" ~Pastor/Theologian Sinclair B. Ferguson

"Instead of a river, God often gives us a brook, which may be running today and dried up tomorrow. Why? To teach us not to rest in our blessings, but in the Blesser Himself" ~Pastor/Theologian A.W. Pink

 
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com7fy8

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I am a 38 year old female and I feel like I am not living life.
"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

First, we need to be concerned about if we are pleasing God, not if we are getting what we want.
 
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com7fy8

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I have seen worldly and nonbelievers get blessed and people that are younger than me.
But how well are they able to handle it? Only with God can we do well with however He does bless us (c:

So, we are wise to prepare in prayer for whatever He will do with us, be ready to be satisfied and make His good use of whatever happens.
 
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disciple Clint

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I am a 38 year old female and I feel like I am not living life. I feel as though I am existing and not really living a whole life. I feel like my life has been full of deaths, disappointments, delays, denials, and deceit. I dont see any signs of good promises manifesting for me. I have seen worldly and nonbelievers get blessed and people that are younger than me. Every other day I always hear about somebody and their blessings that happened for them. I just feel like I have wasted a lot of years in life and people who are younger than me have received blessings. What should I do?
God seems very slow when you are waiting on Him but good news, He always gets there in time.
 
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1watchman

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I am a 38 year old female and I feel like I am not living life. I feel as though I am existing and not really living a whole life. I feel like my life has been full of deaths, disappointments, delays, denials, and deceit. I dont see any signs of good promises manifesting for me. I have seen worldly and nonbelievers get blessed and people that are younger than me. Every other day I always hear about somebody and their blessings that happened for them. I just feel like I have wasted a lot of years in life and people who are younger than me have received blessings. What should I do?

The first thing anyone must do when troubled by life, is to turn to our Creator-God; and that is not in just believing there is a God, but receiving God's "...so great salvation" in His "...beloved Son": the Lord Jesus Christ (note John 3; John 14; Romans 8; etc.) God says there: ..."he that has ANY blessing"! Do your read the Bible to hear our God speaking to you? Begin with the four Gospels in the New Testament (and read the verses I share here, friend) . If you wish you can write me personally to chat about this. -1watchman.
 
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ViaCrucis

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I am a 38 year old female and I feel like I am not living life. I feel as though I am existing and not really living a whole life. I feel like my life has been full of deaths, disappointments, delays, denials, and deceit. I dont see any signs of good promises manifesting for me. I have seen worldly and nonbelievers get blessed and people that are younger than me. Every other day I always hear about somebody and their blessings that happened for them. I just feel like I have wasted a lot of years in life and people who are younger than me have received blessings. What should I do?

I feel ya. I'm 39, turning 40 in June. Am I married, with children, a stable job, anything of note to speak of? Not really. I spent the majority of my 20's with a crippling depression and anxiety that I didn't even know I had until I was diagnosed at 29/30. As a result it felt like my 30's were my 20's, and so I spent the last 10 years trying to get a footing--and not succeeding. A lot of that had to be put on hold because my dad's health deterioated very rapidly, and I had to become a full time care-taker for my father. I was able to find a relationship in this time, and that helped--but then early 2019 she left me, right around the same time I found out that my dad's dialysis just wasn't going to be enough. Then one really crappy morning, my dad slipped in the bathroom, he was acting really out of it, called the paramedics. My dad was rushed to the hospital, and two hours later I got a phone call that there was nothing that could be done, and my dad was dying. Only thing they could do is keep him on medication and make him as comfortable, so then I watched my father fade over several days. Then in 2020 the Pandemic hit.

The first thing I want to say is this: This life isn't the life where we receive "blessings". This isn't our "best life". There are so many lying, thieving, fake teachers and wolves in sheep's clothing who are lying to Christians every day to their face, telling them that because they have faith they can be free of debt, have health, wealth, prosperity, material blessings.

That. Is. A. Lie.

What Jesus told us was that this life of following Him is a cross, a cross of being His disciple. A cross that means suffering in this life. That suffering isn't just persecution two thousand years ago when Rome was throwing Christians to wild beasts. It's the simple fact that we live in an unjust world.

The people who excell, who prosper, who do well--they are rarely people of character, integrity, and who take the way of Jesus seriously. Some do, sometimes good things do happen to "good people"; but that is the extraordinary exception, not the rule.

Ask, for example, why the preachers and teachers who have achieved ungodly amounts of wealth live so much more well off than the members of their congregation. Jesus Christ our Lord and God has taught us, "To whom much has been given, much is required." If there are starving mouths in your congregation, starving bellies in your community, and you do nothing though have the means thousands of times over to help--as these mega-rich pastors and prosperity teachers certainly do--then have no doubt: Such a person serves not Christ, but only their flesh.

-CryptoLutheran
 
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