Who are we really looking for in a potential spouse or significant other? And is it realistic and how open would you recognize someone who didn't meet that list? I wonder how many people are missing out on love because they can't consider someone who doesn't meet the ideal?
I wonder about those who won't ask a woman out or accept based on their own insecurities. Men, is it really better to be alone than to risk a "no" for coffee or a movie? Who cares what you consider your short comings? They may not matter as much as you think they do.
And women, why are you afraid to look a man in the eye and smile so that they can have the encouragement to ask you out?...again, who cares what you consider your shortcomings...let someone else be the judge if they really matter in the long run. Heck, how about asking a guy out to coffee or to join you for lunch sometime. That isn't a date per se and we are grown ups if we have made it to this forum.
I have a male friend in my life whom I spend a lot of time with and he is starting to make it obvious that he is interested in it becoming more than it is. Life situations are such that this can't really be addressed until I am through with school...there just isn't time to explore a relationship when I am so hyperfocused on just surviving this program. However, when I do have time to daydream, I do think about it some. He is not what anyone .... including me ... would have expected me to pair up with. I am not what anyone in his world would expect in his life. However, I think we could be very happy and content together because there is a sense of balance there. There is also plenty of physical attraction...that is based on more than physical appearance. He is not who I thought I'd have wanted but I am starting to wonder if he isn't maybe a very good potential match.
I keep praying that things will happen that will limit our time together if this is not a man I should be considering...all it would take is a single class to be scheduled in a way that would almost completely limit our time together (actually more likely than us having time together) and yet, the schedules keep getting placed in ways that cause more connection and more time together than I could imagine possible. Since this really can't be explored for a little bit longer, I have just decided that I will just wait and watch on this one with a lot of prayer thrown in there.
However, I have been exploring the idea of how much are we in control of who we actually choose to love. Could I make the choice to let go of some dreams and in their place make some new ones that would accommodate this very different person? Is that the same thing as "settling" or is it really learning to expand my definition of love? Life with him could be a completely different adventure than I've always imagined but if I chose him, I'd have to choose to not to try to change him into something he is not but rather love him for who he is.
What do you think? How open are you to exploring potential people that God does place in your life? Without joining a dating service or something, how open are you to asking someone or accepting an invitation from someone, especially someone who doesn't meet your "ideal" list? And how set in stone is that "ideal" list?
And how do you know when God is speaking to you about a person?
I wonder about those who won't ask a woman out or accept based on their own insecurities. Men, is it really better to be alone than to risk a "no" for coffee or a movie? Who cares what you consider your short comings? They may not matter as much as you think they do.
And women, why are you afraid to look a man in the eye and smile so that they can have the encouragement to ask you out?...again, who cares what you consider your shortcomings...let someone else be the judge if they really matter in the long run. Heck, how about asking a guy out to coffee or to join you for lunch sometime. That isn't a date per se and we are grown ups if we have made it to this forum.
I have a male friend in my life whom I spend a lot of time with and he is starting to make it obvious that he is interested in it becoming more than it is. Life situations are such that this can't really be addressed until I am through with school...there just isn't time to explore a relationship when I am so hyperfocused on just surviving this program. However, when I do have time to daydream, I do think about it some. He is not what anyone .... including me ... would have expected me to pair up with. I am not what anyone in his world would expect in his life. However, I think we could be very happy and content together because there is a sense of balance there. There is also plenty of physical attraction...that is based on more than physical appearance. He is not who I thought I'd have wanted but I am starting to wonder if he isn't maybe a very good potential match.
I keep praying that things will happen that will limit our time together if this is not a man I should be considering...all it would take is a single class to be scheduled in a way that would almost completely limit our time together (actually more likely than us having time together) and yet, the schedules keep getting placed in ways that cause more connection and more time together than I could imagine possible. Since this really can't be explored for a little bit longer, I have just decided that I will just wait and watch on this one with a lot of prayer thrown in there.
However, I have been exploring the idea of how much are we in control of who we actually choose to love. Could I make the choice to let go of some dreams and in their place make some new ones that would accommodate this very different person? Is that the same thing as "settling" or is it really learning to expand my definition of love? Life with him could be a completely different adventure than I've always imagined but if I chose him, I'd have to choose to not to try to change him into something he is not but rather love him for who he is.
What do you think? How open are you to exploring potential people that God does place in your life? Without joining a dating service or something, how open are you to asking someone or accepting an invitation from someone, especially someone who doesn't meet your "ideal" list? And how set in stone is that "ideal" list?
And how do you know when God is speaking to you about a person?
