What kind of a person should I be?

[dhatura]

I'm feeling confused, for many reasons.
Firstly, while working on a homework problem, I found that I'm very naive and simple-minded and that my way of thinking is the most direct one. A classmate told me that that's also how I handle things in life. I feel so desperately in need of change. I want to be someone more sophisticated and maturer.
Secondly, my love life is a mess. I think I have low emotional quotient (EQ). I think I desperately need to change that as well.
Thirdly, I'm too self-centered and want to become someone selfless and in God. Can I succeed in a transformation? And how?
Fourthly, I'm tactless and admire those figures in the Bible who are tactful, like Abraham, Jacob and even Tamar. But a church friend told me those people are not what God loves to see. Their tactics don't please God. Is that true? Are they good examples?
Thanks for your response. I'm really in need of some clarifications here.

 

[timf]

What kind of a person should I be?

There is the person you are naturally. There is the person you learn to be to function within your family and society. As a Christian there is the person you should be.

Jesus warned his disciples against the danger of the "leaven" of the Pharisees which he called hypocrisy. The Pharisees thought they had kept the law and would strut around putting themselves on display as righteous people. They did not even know how blind they were.

The type of person you are is your starting point. The type of person you could become is Jesus, the end point.

Ephesians 4:14-15 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

Our whole Christian life is a process of maturity. The more we surrender self, the more the Spirit can work in us to be more like Jesus. This process is accomplished with humility.

2 Corinthians 5:15 And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again.

Be careful not to try a short-cut and only appear righteous. This is what became a trap for the Pharisees.

 

[paul1149]

Strategic thinking doesn't fit in with godliness when it's used for base ulterior motives. There are plenty of people who do nothing but devise schemes to gain the most for themselves by swindling others. But Jesus did tell us to be cautious (wise) as serpents along with being innocent as doves, and wisdom often involves strategy. We need that dimension of wisdom in order to protect and implement our godliness. This is all over the Bible, including the NT, notably when Stephen was chosen as the first deacon because he was filled not only with the Holy Spirit, but also with wisdom. That's how important wisdom is for ministry - having the HS is not enough! That's pretty mind boggling. It implies that God wants us to be fully active participants - co-laborers - in the outworking of His will.

Understanding the nature of God's wisdom will help you find the path forward. Check out James 3, where God's wisdom is intimately bound up with purity and peace. You've done a great job analyzing your situation. But now the temptation might be to stress about it. That would be the wrong course, because it puts the weight on you. The right course is to rest in God, being faithful to the Light given and confidently awaiting further leading.

 

[Harry3142]

dhatura-

We Christians are to show our faith through not only our actions, but also our attitude toward those around us. If the motivations for our actions are correct, then the actions will be correct. But it will not be a forced correctness, but rather a natural progression from the attitude to the action:

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. (Galatians 5:16-26,NIV)

The motivations listed as 'the acts of the sinful nature' are what we are all born with as our basic nature. Some are suppressed as we grow up due to familial and societal pressures, but they are still there, nonetheless. And just as a poisoned tree cannot yield good fruit, no action which has any of these motivations as its impetus can be seen as righteous.

In order for the action to be righteous, the impetus that culminates in the action's being performed must also be righteous. and that takes place only when the motivations are those listed as 'the fruit of the Spirit'. It is when the reason for our actions are these 'fruit' that the actions themselves have assurance of conforming to God's will. That's why the words which immediately follow the listing of these 'fruit' are, "Against such things there is no law."

This 'yardstick' for measuring whether our actions conform to God's will can also be used to counter naivete. If others are trying to convince you of the correctness of what they want you to accept, measure the motivations underlying what they are promoting against this passage of Scripture. Are they trying to stir up motivations of hatred, jealousy, envy, discord, sexual immorality, or any of the other motivations listed as 'the acts of the sinful nature'? If they are, then what they are promoting is to be rejected, as its endresult can only be evil, irregardless of how much pious wording it camouflages itself with. Are they trying to stir up motivations of love, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, or any of the other motivations listed as 'the fruit of the Spirit'? If they are, then what they are promoting is to be given serious consideration, as its endresult can be seen as promoting the kingdom of God on this earth.

A word of caution is given here: Beware of those who would use the hitlerian tactic as the means of influencing you to accept their agenda. This tactic, used so expertly by Adolph Hitler, is specifically designed to 'short circuit' the intellect through both the body language and the intensity of the wording which is employed by those using such a tactic. This makes it relatively easy for them to manipulate the emotions of their audience so as to have the people not only accept, but also actively participate in committing actions which otherwise those people would see as being diametrically opposed to the teachings of Scripture. And this tactic is usually directed at young people such as yourself by those who want your strength and vitality to serve their own selfish ambitions.

 

[1watchman]

Hello dhatura. One who wants to know God and please Him needs to emulate God's beloved Son --the Lord Jesus, the Christ of God; and that essentially means to receive Him as your Savior and Lord of your life. Christianity is not about following the teachings of God, but a personal relationship with the Savior. I suggest you pray over John 1; John 3; John 14, and see what God shows you. Look up always, and find peace and joy in the Lord.

 

[dhatura]

There is the person you are naturally. There is the person you learn to be to function within your family and society. As a Christian there is the person you should be.

Jesus warned his disciples against the danger of the "leaven" of the Pharisees which he called hypocrisy. The Pharisees thought they had kept the law and would strut around putting themselves on display as righteous people. They did not even know how blind they were.

The type of person you are is your starting point. The type of person you could become is Jesus, the end point.

Ephesians 4:14-15 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

Our whole Christian life is a process of maturity. The more we surrender self, the more the Spirit can work in us to be more like Jesus. This process is accomplished with humility.

2 Corinthians 5:15 And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again.

Be careful not to try a short-cut and only appear righteous. This is what became a trap for the Pharisees.

Thanks. I'll be careful not to become a hypocrat.
But can you describe what kind of a person Jesus is like in more details? Don't be so vague as to say only that he is righteous.

 

[dhatura]

Strategic thinking doesn't fit in with godliness when it's used for base ulterior motives. There are plenty of people who do nothing but devise schemes to gain the most for themselves by swindling others. But Jesus did tell us to be cautious (wise) as serpents along with being innocent as doves, and wisdom often involves strategy. We need that dimension of wisdom in order to protect and implement our godliness. This is all over the Bible, including the NT, notably when Stephen was chosen as the first deacon because he was filled not only with the Holy Spirit, but also with wisdom. That's how important wisdom is for ministry - having the HS is not enough! That's pretty mind boggling. It implies that God wants us to be fully active participants - co-laborers - in the outworking of His will.

Understanding the nature of God's wisdom will help you find the path forward. Check out James 3, where God's wisdom is intimately bound up with purity and peace. You've done a great job analyzing your situation. But now the temptation might be to stress about it. That would be the wrong course, because it puts the weight on you. The right course is to rest in God, being faithful to the Light given and confidently awaiting further leading.

Thanks Paul for talking about God's wisdom.
But how do you distinguish between God's wisdom and that which is unspiritual and demonic?

 

[dhatura]

dhatura-

We Christians are to show our faith through not only our actions, but also our attitude toward those around us. If the motivations for our actions are correct, then the actions will be correct. But it will not be a forced correctness, but rather a natural progression from the attitude to the action:

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. (Galatians 5:16-26,NIV)

The motivations listed as 'the acts of the sinful nature' are what we are all born with as our basic nature. Some are suppressed as we grow up due to familial and societal pressures, but they are still there, nonetheless. And just as a poisoned tree cannot yield good fruit, no action which has any of these motivations as its impetus can be seen as righteous.

In order for the action to be righteous, the impetus that culminates in the action's being performed must also be righteous. and that takes place only when the motivations are those listed as 'the fruit of the Spirit'. It is when the reason for our actions are these 'fruit' that the actions themselves have assurance of conforming to God's will. That's why the words which immediately follow the listing of these 'fruit' are, "Against such things there is no law."

This 'yardstick' for measuring whether our actions conform to God's will can also be used to counter naivete. If others are trying to convince you of the correctness of what they want you to accept, measure the motivations underlying what they are promoting against this passage of Scripture. Are they trying to stir up motivations of hatred, jealousy, envy, discord, sexual immorality, or any of the other motivations listed as 'the acts of the sinful nature'? If they are, then what they are promoting is to be rejected, as its endresult can only be evil, irregardless of how much pious wording it camouflages itself with. Are they trying to stir up motivations of love, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, or any of the other motivations listed as 'the fruit of the Spirit'? If they are, then what they are promoting is to be given serious consideration, as its endresult can be seen as promoting the kingdom of God on this earth.

A word of caution is given here: Beware of those who would use the hitlerian tactic as the means of influencing you to accept their agenda. This tactic, used so expertly by Adolph Hitler, is specifically designed to 'short circuit' the intellect through both the body language and the intensity of the wording which is employed by those using such a tactic. This makes it relatively easy for them to manipulate the emotions of their audience so as to have the people not only accept, but also actively participate in committing actions which otherwise those people would see as being diametrically opposed to the teachings of Scripture. And this tactic is usually directed at young people such as yourself by those who want your strength and vitality to serve their own selfish ambitions.

Thanks Harry. I think you answered my questions to Paul above.

 

[Queen of the Highway]

I'm feeling confused, for many reasons.
Firstly, while working on a homework problem, I found that I'm very naive and simple-minded and that my way of thinking is the most direct one. A classmate told me that that's also how I handle things in life. I feel so desperately in need of change. I want to be someone more sophisticated and maturer.
Secondly, my love life is a mess. I think I have low emotional quotient (EQ). I think I desperately need to change that as well.
Thirdly, I'm too self-centered and want to become someone selfless and in God. Can I succeed in a transformation? And how?
Fourthly, I'm tactless and admire those figures in the Bible who are tactful, like Abraham, Jacob and even Tamar. But a church friend told me those people are not what God loves to see. Their tactics don't please God. Is that true? Are they good examples?
Thanks for your response. I'm really in need of some clarifications here.

Abraham and Jacob did not have favor from God? You should avoid such silly lies presented to you. Your own heart will immediately answer that is untrue.

You are putting your own self down, and what you are saying is not true.

You need to get up and keep running or Satan will come along and try and sweep you up.

 

[dhatura]

Abraham and Jacob did not have favor from God? You should avoid such silly lies presented to you. Your own heart will immediately answer that is untrue.

You are putting your own self down, and what you are saying is not true.

You need to get up and keep running or Satan will come along and try and sweep you up.

Hi Queen of the Highway, thanks for your response.
But my church friend explains it as this: she said God doesn't necessarily choose people who are more righteous. She said God sometimes use people who are wicked for His purposes, implying that Abraham and Jacob and Tamar had favour in God's eye not necessarily because of their righteousness. I guess she disapproves of how they do things. What do you think?

 

[Queen of the Highway]

Hi Queen of the Highway, thanks for your response.
But my church friend explains it as this: she said God doesn't necessarily choose people who are more righteous. She said God sometimes use people who are wicked for His purposes, implying that Abraham and Jacob and Tamar had favour in God's eye not necessarily because of their righteousness. I guess she disapproves of how they do things. What do you think?

Everyone is wicked.

If they claim they have no wickedness in them, those are the liars.

Abraham did no wrong. Nor did Jacob. Nor did Tamar.

We are redeemed by faith. Faith is a component of love. It is about a love relationship with God. Faith is we believe God shares the same love for us we have for Him.

How can you tell if your friend is speaking from Jesus or Satan? If you think Christians can not speak from Satan, you are wrong. They can.

Who cares what she disapproves of? Have you made her higher then you? Only God and Christ should be higher then you. Or a man if you are married. You are not married. Is she an angel of Christ or God?

(Could be.)

 

[dhatura]

Everyone is wicked.

If they claim they have no wickedness in them, those are the liars.

Abraham did no wrong. Nor did Jacob. Nor did Tamar.

We are redeemed by faith. Faith is a component of love. It is about a love relationship with God. Faith is we believe God shares the same love for us we have for Him.

How can you tell if your friend is speaking from Jesus or Satan? If you think Christians can not speak from Satan, you are wrong. They can.

Who cares what she disapproves of? Have you made her higher then you? Only God and Christ should be higher then you. Or a man if you are married. You are not married. Is she an angel of Christ or God?

(Could be.)

Thanks for your response Queen of the Highway.
I'm a new Christian. She has been a Christian for many years. I guess that fact gives her some authority.

 

[Queen of the Highway]

Thanks for your response Queen of the Highway.
I'm a new Christian. She has been a Christian for many years. I guess that fact gives her some authority.

You admire her and look up to her.

A lot of people have been Christians for many years. You seem to have made a heart decision, however. That seems deeper then just a resume.

Is this true?

 

[dhatura]

I came to Jesus because I want to change. I'm bad at building relationships and want to improve. I'm quick-tempered and self-centered. While working on a homework, I recently found that I'm simple-minded and naive and my way of thinking is the most direct, which I don't like. A classmate, who have got to know me for only a bit more than 2 months, commented that that's also how I handle things in life in general. I think he is very observant. I want to change all these weaknesses of mine and become a more sophisticated and maturer person. So I came to Jesus.
But recently, Nancy talked about her difficulties in communicating with her non-believing friends. And a friend of my Dad's talked about how ungrateful his brother was to him because his brother thanks only God for whatever favour he does.
These casual talks scare me. I'm concerned that if I become a pious believer in Jesus Christ later, I'll lose touch with my worldly friends and even family. Do you have these problems? How do you handle your spiritual life and worldly things like relationships, career, family and so on?

 

[Queen of the Highway]

I came to Jesus because I want to change. I'm bad at building relationships and want to improve. I'm quick-tempered and self-centered. While working on a homework, I recently found that I'm simple-minded and naive and my way of thinking is the most direct, which I don't like. A classmate, who have got to know me for only a bit more than 2 months, commented that that's also how I handle things in life in general. I think he is very observant. I want to change all these weaknesses of mine and become a more sophisticated and maturer person. So I came to Jesus.
But recently, Nancy talked about her difficulties in communicating with her non-believing friends. And a friend of my Dad's talked about how ungrateful his brother was to him because his brother thanks only God for whatever favour he does.
These casual talks scare me. I'm concerned that if I become a pious believer in Jesus Christ later, I'll lose touch with my worldly friends and even family. Do you have these problems? How do you handle your spiritual life and worldly things like relationships, career, family and so on?

Most of my friends and people I deal with keep their Christianity a secret. They are not so overt about it, like what you see here.

They enjoy being more metaphoric about things, whereas many Christians are more literal. And they can end up on the very same path of the Pharisees, unfortunately. Becoming Satan's angels, instead of Christ's.

I view God as my husband, and so all love songs are about my relationship with God. I look underneath the surface and see God everywhere.

So, I am free to go about as I please.

That is a romantic relationship. It is far more powerful then a mere relationship with a mortal human. That love is powerful. Which is why Jesus pointed out 'in the age to come there will be no marriage, you will be like angels in Heaven'. That is, married to God. In saying this he pointed out "you do not know the power of God".

Women understand this better then men. They understand how power and strength is so seductive.

You have to let God woo you.

It sounds like God is wooing you through this fellow Christian you are looking up to, as though they are a status above you.

Only God and Christ are a status above you, so you must sense God in them.

 

[paul1149]

She has been a Christian for many years. I guess that fact gives her some authority.

People only have as much spiritual authority as you are willing to give them. You are in charge, and trust is earned. Be careful who you let speak into your life. Only trust those whose counsel rings true and brings the wisdom imbued with purity and peace that James talks about.

 

[Bible2]

dhatura said in post 1:

What kind of a person should I be?

A loving person, as defined by 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

*******

dhatura said in post 6:

But can you describe what kind of a person Jesus is like in more details?

The Gospel of John does that for us wonderfully. Read it over and over, from start to finish, and Jesus' long discourses there will give you a deep sense of what he's like.

*******

dhatura said in post 7:

But how do you distinguish between God's wisdom and that which is unspiritual and demonic?

By seeing how something lines up with God's own Word the Bible (2 Timothy 3:16).

 

[turned around]

Hi dhatura,
The best place to start is just being your self. You came to Jesus by simple faith, just continue down that road. The Father is not out to change your personality, he wants to conform you to the image of his son. The Father loves you just as you are.

 

[Emmy]

Dear dhatura. Jesus gives us good advice in Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus tells a Lawyer: " The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all thy heart,
with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it: Love thy neighbour as thyself." Then Jesus points out: " On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." God is Love, and God wants loving children/sons and daughters. Jesus will give us His Love and Joy, and the Holy Spirit will empower us with His Love, also. We always ask and then we will receive, Matthew 7: 7-10. We keep asking God and thanking God, then we share all Love and Joy with our neighbour: all we know and all we meet, friends and not friends. God will see our sincere efforts and God will approve and bless us. We will be doings God`s Will, because we follow God`s Commandments to Love.
Love is a Christian`s great weapon, with Love we will overcome all enmity and wrong behaviour. We wiil keep asking God and thanking God, then share
all Love and Joy with all around us. We might stumble and forget at times,
but then we ask God to forgive us, and carry on Loving and Caring. We are God`s only representatives in this imperfect world, and perhaps we will become sign-posts to God our Heavenly Father?
God is Love, and God wants loving men and women to help each other to become God`s Own People. Jesus our Saviour will help and guide us:
JESUS IS THE WAY. What kind of person should I be? Loving followers of our Loving Leader: HE DIED THAT WE MIGHT LIVE. I say this with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[dhatura]

Dear dhatura. Jesus gives us good advice in Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus tells a Lawyer: " The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all thy heart,
with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it: Love thy neighbour as thyself." Then Jesus points out: " On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." God is Love, and God wants loving children/sons and daughters. Jesus will give us His Love and Joy, and the Holy Spirit will empower us with His Love, also. We always ask and then we will receive, Matthew 7: 7-10. We keep asking God and thanking God, then we share all Love and Joy with our neighbour: all we know and all we meet, friends and not friends. God will see our sincere efforts and God will approve and bless us. We will be doings God`s Will, because we follow God`s Commandments to Love.
Love is a Christian`s great weapon, with Love we will overcome all enmity and wrong behaviour. We wiil keep asking God and thanking God, then share
all Love and Joy with all around us. We might stumble and forget at times,
but then we ask God to forgive us, and carry on Loving and Caring. We are God`s only representatives in this imperfect world, and perhaps we will become sign-posts to God our Heavenly Father?
God is Love, and God wants loving men and women to help each other to become God`s Own People. Jesus our Saviour will help and guide us:
JESUS IS THE WAY. What kind of person should I be? Loving followers of our Loving Leader: HE DIED THAT WE MIGHT LIVE. I say this with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

Thank you very much Emmy. I see your point.