What is your love language?

dayhiker · Sep 24, 2019

Well, be sure to look for people who like to hug and get some hugs. I often meet people and ask if I can share a hug with them. This past weekend, a girl hugged me for like 10 seconds that I'd just meet at a gathering a couple of hours earlier.

I also have physical touch as my primary. I had to understand that touch in the 5 love languages isn't sex. The book implies if we get touch we wouldn't feel so desperate for sex. For me sex was a different need than the touch talked about in the 5 love languages.

Anguspure · Sep 24, 2019

dayhiker said:
Well, be sure to look for people who like to hug and get some hugs. I often meet people and ask if I can share a hug with them. This past weekend, a girl hugged me for like 10 seconds that I'd just meet at a gathering a couple of hours earlier.

I also have physical touch as my primary. I had to understand that touch in the 5 love languages isn't sex. The book implies if we get touch we wouldn't feel so desperate for sex. For me sex was a different need than the touch talked about in the 5 love languages.

Living and working at sea, as I am, makes that a little bit tricky. The boys don't tend to be terribly huggy, and the very rare one or 2 who are, are a little bit too huggy, if you get my drift.
Same problem ashore. The only guys who are huggy want a little bit more.....and women tend to be understandably stand offish unless they know a person very well.
I agree with you very much on the sex angle. The few times in my life where my non-sexual need for touch has been met regularly (as well as other needs) my libido has very much taken a back seat.
I once spent 3 months aboard a Christian ship and felt so little "passion" for sex during that time it was positively miraculous. Only once since that time (20 years ago) have I had the same experience, be it for a shorter time, and that also was in close company with other believers on a mission.

bèlla · Sep 24, 2019

That has to be difficult for men. Especially when you’re single. I hadn’t thought of it until your comments.

I took the test again. The answer often shifts. This time my top two were acts of service and words of affirmation. They were at the bottom in the past because my companion met those desires naturally.

I don’t appear to seek my love language’s fulfillment through friends and acquaintances. That probably explains the change.

Army of the Lord · Nov 9, 2019

Mine is quality time.

Ronit · May 11, 2020

exitstageright said:
WoW! You read me like a book! If my SO love langauge is gifts,I would not mind giving her a little gift,when it is not a speacial day,for example Valentines Day. Acts of service,well I could always hire a houskeeper,if we both work. Yes, touching does not have to always be sexual. Yes, I love it when a woman leans into me on the couch,or love seat. I like the part about the 49ers games. She could be a Raiders or Cowboys fan,and I would still love to have her next to me.
Now affirmation has always been difficult for me,but I can try. One reason,when I was younger,that I did not give women compliments,was that I thought guys who gave compliments to women were being phony. Do you remember that TV show,"Leave It To Beaver"? Eddie Haskell,the wise guy,would be full of B.S.,by telling June Cleaver,"That is such a beautiful dress,Mrs. Cleaver!"

You are a Romantic.
That is nice.
Not too many out there now

Ronit · May 11, 2020

Cooking. Making me a great meal or writing me poetry or a song.
Inviting me to have Sabbath supper with his parents and grandparents

bèlla · May 12, 2020

Ronit said:
Cooking. Making me a great meal or writing me poetry or a song.
Inviting me to have Sabbath supper with his parents and grandparents

It sounds like you value acts of service and quality time.

~Bella

Ronit · May 12, 2020

LaBèlla said:
It sounds like you value acts of service and quality time.

~Bella

Yep I'm that way myself and I want my future man to be that way too.
I guess Old World is what you call it.

bèlla · May 12, 2020

Ronit said:
Yep I'm that way myself and I want my future man to be that way too.
I guess Old World is what you call it.

Love languages are innate and differ for everyone. You may value acts of service but he may crave something different. Physical touch is pretty common for men.

~Bella

Ronit · May 12, 2020

LaBèlla said:
Love languages are innate and differ for everyone. You may value acts of service but he may crave something different. Physical touch is pretty common for men.

~Bella

Nothing Wrong with that As long as we are married

dayhiker · May 12, 2020

Yes, I'm a man who puts physical touch at the top of the list, but I love quality time as well.

bèlla · Jun 13, 2020

I retook the test today. I had a feeling things changed due to a recent shift. Words of affirmation was the clear winner.

~Bella

URA · Jun 13, 2020

dayhiker said:
Yes, I'm a man who puts physical touch at the top of the list, but I love quality time as well.

I'm the same way. The thing I want most of all from a girlfriend is hugs, but quality time is so necessary, even though I put physical touch at the top of my list, both are required.

What is your love language?

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