What is wrong with me?

[granolagurl]

It all started with a panick attack back in October because I had a fear of getting a seisure. I then realized that this was an irrational fear and was ok for a while. Then one night over Christmas break I suddenly became very anxious feeling for no reason at all. I started to analyze myself constantly trying to figure out why I was feeling this way. Then I made the terrible mistake of going to see a scary movie with some freinds on New Years Eve. I had horrible thoughts of harming myself and my family! I was so afraid of myself. I would wake up in the mornings with a pounding heart and the rest of the day wasn't any better.

I now realize that these thoughts are just the anxiety talking and not me, but it really bothers me that I have these thoughts. Am I developing some form of OCD? I really just want my old self back. Pray for me!

 

[KTKat]

I know how you feel. I constantly have racing thoughts that make my anxiety worse. The best thing to do is just remind yourself that you are ok, and nothing is going to happen to you, and of course keep praying.

 

[LittleOrphanAndy]

Im not a doctor and im not diagnosing but i do have a suggestion if you go see one . I have recently discovered that the probable root of my anxiety /panic attacks is from OCD. For me the fear initialy was getting sick. I still struggle with this . Im suggesting that perhaps yours might be rooted in OCD and not a seperate Anxiety disorder . I suggest you explore the possibility . But at any rate i do understand what youre going through . It can be very terrifing and very isolating . God Bless You in youre struggles.

Andy

 

[Westvleteren]

It sounds like you do have some form of anxiety disorder, whatever the source. Anxiety is really quite common -- anytime I mention that I'm in treatment for panic disorder, I meet someone who has had or is having the same problem. So you're not a freak!

The good news is, it can be managed -- you don't have to live with fear. I strongly recommend that you see a doctor or therapist and begin treatment, either through cognitive behavioral therapy or medication, or a combination of both -- whatever you and your healthcare provider decide is best for you.

Anxiety has a tendency to spiral -- the more you worry about it, the worse it gets; the brain develops very bad habits in its response to stress stimulus that only get harder and harder to break. Stopping the cycle early will only help you.

Stop in here whenever you need a sympathetic ear. Skim the threads for hints on dealing with anxiety spikes on a day-to-day basis, and for other people's experiences with therapy and medications.

Best wishes to you -- courage and fortitude!

 

[KellyLeigh]

My anxiety stems from the irrational (i hope anyway) fear I have of dieing from a heart attack, so I know just what you are going through. It is very scary! I'm here with an open ear is you ever need to talk

 

[granolagurl]

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Its comforting to know that I'm not alone and "not a freak." Prayer and this forum have certainly been a relief. Lately I feel as though my mind has been trying to find ANY excuse to make me fearful. For examlple, today I've been afraid of going mad and hearing voices. Its sooo frustrating!I always think of the worst possible outcome Whenever you feel as though you've taken two steps forward the anxiety tries to pull you back.

Keepin in mind that God has plans for me (and for you too!) to prosper and not disaster!

Prayin for you all

 

[chasinghope]

Honestly, I understand your fears... I experienced SO much fear, pain, anxiety, and emotional trauma a little less than a year ago. I am still not entirely sure what brought it on... could have been a number of different things... but I am telling you that it was the worst time of my entire life. I am not that old (22), but every day during this period, I would cry out to God to make it end. But, lots happened during this time... I know that it is hard to understand, and I dont want to try to give you some formulated answer. All I know is that God IS faithful... He WILL lift you up and make you strong. I believe it with all of my heart... Believe it with yours. Give your whole heart to him... all of the fear, all of the racing thoughts, even if you think that they are too terrible to think, God sees them regardless and just wants your pain to end. He is reaching out to heal you, and does not want this gripping fear to stay with you. Stay strong. I am praying for you... please let me know if there is anything else I can do. Feel free to message me any time if you want to talk about it or anything else.