What is the Proper Relationship with Christ?

[GandalfTheWise]

(Edited for space)
I know of the 'Jesus is my buddy' theology and I used to believe that but I never had an intimate experience with Christ, especially in that way.

What is your viewpoint? I want to know the true way to be closer to the Godhead. I keep failing temptation trials because of my aimlessness in the way I see Christ and my addictions.

Jesus used the terms "friends" and "brothers" to describe his disciples. John 15:15, 20:17, and 21:5.

In a nutshell, my story is this. I grew up going to church and believed in God, but it was a rather nebulous belief that I never much though about. When I was 12, during a wednesday night Lent service, we had a guest speaker. At the end of the service, he asked a couple questions something like, "are you sure God exists?" and "are you sure you are going to heaven?" In that moment, I was struck by a sense that my belief was in reality a vague hope that the stories were true. After the service, I went up to talk with the speaker. He led me in a brief prayer something like "God please forgive me and come into my heart." Now, I'd prayed countless similar prayers during liturgies and other times, I wasn't really expecting anything to happen, but I just started to feel a warm presence inside of me (which is hard to put into words). I went from vaguely hoping God was there and real to feeling His presence in my life.

That was over 40 years ago. Since then, my trust and confidence in God has grown because of what I've seen of His hand in my life and in others. For me, this is what faith is about. For many years, I spent a lot of effort trying to figure out which church had the correct doctrine, and what I was supposed to believe. But over time, I found that faith is about a growing trust and confidence in God because of His consistent presence and faithfulness. It's not like I'm seeing the Red Sea part every day, but I've seen God's providence and working at various times over months, years, and decades and I've had a consistent sense of His presence.

One of the observations I've made over the years is that changes in our lives come about through God's work, not our own efforts and ability to change ourselves. I've noted that changes in people's lives occur because of different things. There are some things we can simply change by making a choice to do so. Spiritual growth and maturity causes some positive things to change in our lives. Such things as the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control) emerge as characteristics of our lives. Then there are those bondages, addictions, compulsive behaviors, and long-term problems that we struggle with. In my life and others, I've observed that often addictions and compulsive behaviors and the like are often symptoms of deeper root causes. It's when God works in our lives to deal with these root causes that we can be freed from various bondages. Deep spiritual and emotional traumas can cause serious injuries and wounds that remain in us until God works in us to heal those things. In the same way a broken leg prevents us from easily dancing or jumping or running, spiritual and emotional injuries can hobble or cripple us in some ways producing behaviors that we cannot simply overcome. I've heard testimonies of how God has healed people of these things in a prayer meeting, or in miraculous ways. I've also heard testimonies of how God used Christian counselors, or small encounter groups, to bring a slow process of healing over time. I've seen this type of thing in my life and in friends' lives. It's not to say everything is perfect all at once, but that God brings us to deal with particular things in His timing to free us from them.

 

[Blood Bought 1953]

I think the appropriate relationship should be worshiper and the only One worthy of that worship.

 

[corinth77777]

I'm not sure if I should post this to the advice forum or the theological forum, because this deals with both simultaneously.

I know of the 'Jesus is my buddy' theology and I used to believe that but I never had an intimate experience with Christ, especially in that way.

I read on a Lutheran site that our relationship with Christ isn't particularly emotional but volitional which stood out to me. Like it's our actions, not what we 'feel' per se.

What is your viewpoint? I want to know the true way to be closer to the Godhead. I keep failing temptation trials because of my aimlessness in the way I see Christ and my addictions.

1st it impossible to please God without Faith
2nd Seek God with all you have
God is LOVE, so seek LOVE
God is Good, so seek to do good
God is merciful so seek to have mercy on folks
God is forgiving, so seek to forgive.

Trust Jesus for all things
Seek HIM first and all things are said to be added to your life.
YOu can choose to live for yourself, Or come under HIS rule?
If you choose to follow, or come under his rule, then you will do as he says.

So change your thinking, be renewed in your mind when negative comes up to want the best for all people.

But mainly start with repenting, pray, talk to God about anything, and do not stop until you get an answer. And come to HIM with actions of Repentance, showing him you have change your heart about your former thinking about what, and who God loves. LOVE all people, do what Jesus would do.

After God forgives you, stay prayed up, and continue in HIM every day....For the LIFE that HE gives will make you alive spiritually....

I believe God is true to HIS promises.
Seek HIM with all you have......concentrate and refocus your mind on all things HE would be a part of.

The END...smile

 

[EpicScore]

I think I understand where you're coming from. As a Calvinist, I've never really appreciated the "Christianity is about relationship" cliche that my Pentecostal/Charismatic friends seemed to have embraced, until quite recently. In fact, I tend to see that statement in a rather negative light, because I saw that as relativising Christianity to personal experiences rather than the truth of God's word.

As for my relationship with God, I was told that, "If you claim that Jesus is your saviour but not your Lord, then you never really accepted Him as your saviour." Hence, I saw Christ as a saviour, and a Lord, but never a friend, despite what He called us to be in John 15:15.

The cross was, in my mind, like God placing an investment in us, from which he is expecting a return. He wouldn’t take back the salvation once we’ve received it, but I was under the impression that He would detest me if I didn’t make the effort to repay His kindness—a mindset that, I suppose, is essentially no different from saying that we need to work for our justification, because our deeds is motivated by fear and obligation, rather than love and joy. I have done a lot of ministries at church and volunteered to help out in services whenever I can, not particularly out of any genuine desire to do something for God, but because I didn’t want to be seen as a carnal Christian, or a fake believer. My actions were not driven by a positive attitude (“genuine gratefulness”), but a negative one (“not wanting to appear ungrateful”).

The traditional Christian dogma is that "our works is not the cause of our salvation, but they are the fruit of salvation", but as people we seem to have the tendency to fall into the extremes of rigid legalism and easy believism. So, even when we tell ourselves that our salvation is not based on our works, we often still unconsciously treat works as a means to perform ... to earn something more from God, or to prove ourselves as more "worthy". Here's a good article which explains why that doesn't work:

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-to-do-when-faith-dies

One of the things that changed my perspective on how to relate to God was during a sermon on 1 Corinthians 3:5, which says that our significance is not decided by who we fight for, but who is fighting for us. The part that struck me the most was when the speaker elaborated about why people sometimes get into passionate debates and controversies about the most trivial stuffs like sports or celebrity gossip ... it is because we project our own values to these public figures (as the Corinthians did with Paul and Apollos), and when we champion these figures as a cause to fight for, we are trying to prove ourselves as being greater than the other person who stands for a different set of value systems. We are so desperate to feel that our lives are contributing to something, and so we fight to make sure that we are "needed" by the cause.

But I realise now that my disinclination to seek intimacy with God stems from pride. Even though I may cognitively be aware that God doesn't need me to do anything for Him, I still want to earn a relevant place in His divine plans, so that I can still feel entitled when He does deign to bless me. I had no confidence in my prayers, because I thought I had to earn the right to speak to Him, and I was reluctant to step out from my areas of strength (i.e. comfort zone) because I don't believe He would want to use me outside of the gifts I have to offer. I don't want to advertise my own posts, but here are some more thoughts on this:

Part 2: Being Needed, Being Wanted | Christian Forums

tl;dr, what I've learnt is: the ultimate goal of Christianity is relationship, and God is less concerned about helping us feel good about ourselves than He wants us to feel good about being with Him.

 

[Halbhh]

I'm not sure if I should post this to the advice forum or the theological forum, because this deals with both simultaneously.

I know of the 'Jesus is my buddy' theology and I used to believe that but I never had an intimate experience with Christ, especially in that way.

I read on a Lutheran site that our relationship with Christ isn't particularly emotional but volitional which stood out to me. Like it's our actions, not what we 'feel' per se.

What is your viewpoint? I want to know the true way to be closer to the Godhead. I keep failing temptation trials because of my aimlessness in the way I see Christ and my addictions.

I see many good answers already, but thought I'd add my own thoughts in response to your wording and question. It's like post #2 -- our heads and our hearts. To love God means both to keep his commandments, but also to love with all of our heart (and that also helps the first). Or put another way, to love with all of our mind and all of our heart both. Now, since people individually have various temperaments, like some are more naturally born as touchy feely, and some more naturally born as cooly thinking than touchy feely, we can see different emphasis from different people, but we don't have to worry about that. Clearly both are good in their own way. But for each of us individually, we love God with all of our own heart, and all of our own mind, and all of our own soul, and all of our own ability.

 

[aiki]

I'm not sure if I should post this to the advice forum or the theological forum, because this deals with both simultaneously.

I know of the 'Jesus is my buddy' theology and I used to believe that but I never had an intimate experience with Christ, especially in that way.

I read on a Lutheran site that our relationship with Christ isn't particularly emotional but volitional which stood out to me. Like it's our actions, not what we 'feel' per se.

What is your viewpoint? I want to know the true way to be closer to the Godhead. I keep failing temptation trials because of my aimlessness in the way I see Christ and my addictions.

Paul the apostle answered your question millenia ago:

Philippians 1:21
21 For to me, to live is Christ...

Christ isn't just an addition, an accessory, to our living; he doesn't just give us spiritual things like peace, joy, faith and so on; he isn't just a religious icon we "worship" through various rituals. No, Christ is life itself.

The Bible tells us Jesus is the Creator (John 1:1-2; Colossians 1:15-16) and this means, in part, that our very existence depends upon him and that we were made for him. If Jesus ceased to exist in the next moment, so would everything else. That's how dependent we are on him. But our dependency doesn't end there. We are also entirely spiritually dependent upon him, too:

John 15:4-5
4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
5 I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

We have no spiritual life apart from Christ. He isn't, then, merely an accessory to our living but the core, the center, the heart of it - or he should be. So long as a Christian attempts to live a divided life, a life that is supposed to be all for Christ but is actually lived for other things, that Christian cannot walk with God as he is supposed to. Such a man is "double-minded" and, as the apostle James wrote, "unstable in all his ways." (James 1:8)

Is Christ your life? Or is he just an add-on, a religious facet to your life? Are you willing to give everything up to follow him? Jesus warned his disciples,

Matthew 16:24-26
24 ..."If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.
25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.
26 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

Being a Christian doesn't mean you just include a spiritual dimension to your life; it means you exchange a life lived centered upon yourself for one centered upon Christ. It can't be you and Christ, you see; it's got to be all him. You must die that he might live in you. That's the "deal." As John the Baptist said,

John 3:30
30 He must increase, but I must decrease.

 

[Doug Melven]

What a relationship with God should like.

A. He is Almighty God our Father and we are to worship Him.
B. He is our Friend/Brother and He walks with us and talks with us and tells us we are His own and He gives us a helping hand when we need it.
C. He is our Daddy God and we sometimes just need to sit on His lap. Mark 10:15-16

Some people would say that options B and C have a possibility of being a little to forward with God.
Thinking of some version of "familiarity breeds contempt".
But, if we had a clear understanding, as Isaiah did in Isaiah 6, there is no way that we would ever feel contempt, no matter how familiar we became.
For those who would say there is just no way I could ever feel worthy enough to be so familiar with God.
Jesus Christ by His sacrifice has made you worthy.
To say you are not worthy, is not humility, that is pride. I say it is pride because you are exalting your lowly opinion of yourself over what God says about you.
God calls us saints, righteous, accepted, worthy, pure, lovely.

 

[SolomonVII]

I'm not sure if I should post this to the advice forum or the theological forum, because this deals with both simultaneously.

I know of the 'Jesus is my buddy' theology and I used to believe that but I never had an intimate experience with Christ, especially in that way.

I read on a Lutheran site that our relationship with Christ isn't particularly emotional but volitional which stood out to me. Like it's our actions, not what we 'feel' per se.

What is your viewpoint? I want to know the true way to be closer to the Godhead. I keep failing temptation trials because of my aimlessness in the way I see Christ and my addictions.

I am more of the volitional category. Correct belief, correct thinking, correct behavior, correct attitude, correct conduct, correct worship-these are all things that we can choose.

Our emotional state, or rather our propensity to a normal emotional state, is something that is rather constant. We win a million, or win the championship, and our emotions soar; we lose a child, or the ability to walk, and we enter into an emotional abyss. Eventually though, in a wheel chair or on a perpetual cruise, we end up in the same emotional state as we started out with before fortune called.

This does not negate the experience of those who direct their lives to the friendship of Jesus. I remember an old parish priest relating a story in his book about an old man who was told to talk to Jesus as he would any other person sitting in the chair beside him when he prayed, and the position that he was in when he died was exactly that of a person dying in the arms of the person beside him. Volitional relationship does not negate such a personal relationship based in prayer, but it does not really require it either.
A personal relationship recognizes each and every one of us as a person with very different traits and proclivities and needs. Choosing to emulate Christ and follow in his ways in one way does not negate other people choosing a different path in Christ.
Be true to yourself, and you will be true to Christ.

 

[hedrick]

I don't think everyone is going to have the same kind of relationship with Christ, anymore than we do with each other. I'm a pretty cerebral guy. I feel closest to God when I'm studying theology. Probably a better reaction is people who see God in others. Others feel God in nature. Others in worship. Actually, I'd hope people feel something in worship, but even there worship experience are very different, ranging from exegetical lectures to shouting and rolling in the aisles.

I don't think you should feel bad because your experience isn't the same as someone else's. Jesus didn't mandate any particular worship style (or even attending worship weekly), nor did he talk about having a "personal relationship" in the sense people often mean. He did use a child as a model of a trusting attitude towards God, and the Reformers understood Paul's use of faith as based on trust. Hopefully you feel something when you think about Jesus dying on the cross.

But I agree with the Lutherans that what Jesus really taught was that we should care about the good of other people

There's a trap that I see people here falling into a lot: worrying about what they feel and the health of their Christianity enough that their focus becomes on themselves. Ideally we should spend most of our time thinking about what Jesus taught and did, and about what we can do for people around us. Our confidence should be in what Jesus did for us, not in our own response.

If you hear Jesus talking to you all the time, great! But not everyone does.

 

[Lily of Valleys]

The most intimate relationship with God is the type of relationship as described in the Song of Solomon, where we are the bride and God is the bridegroom.

I am my beloved’s, And my beloved is mine. (Song of Solomon 6:3 NKJV)​

Draw me away! We will run after you. (Song of Solomon 1:4 NKJV)​

 

[ChristIsSovereign]

I don't think everyone is going to have the same kind of relationship with Christ, anymore than we do with each other. I'm a pretty cerebral guy. I feel closest to God when I'm studying theology. Probably a better reaction is people who see God in others. Others feel God in nature. Others in worship. Actually, I'd hope people feel something in worship, but even there worship experience are very different, ranging from exegetical lectures to shouting and rolling in the aisles.

I don't think you should feel bad because your experience isn't the same as someone else's. Jesus didn't mandate any particular worship style (or even attending worship weekly), nor did he talk about having a "personal relationship" in the sense people often mean. He did use a child as a model of a trusting attitude towards God, and the Reformers understood Paul's use of faith as based on trust. Hopefully you feel something when you think about Jesus dying on the cross.

But I agree with the Lutherans that what Jesus really taught was that we should care about the good of other people

There's a trap that I see people here falling into a lot: worrying about what they feel and the health of their Christianity enough that their focus becomes on themselves. Ideally we should spend most of our time thinking about what Jesus taught and did, and about what we can do for people around us. Our confidence should be in what Jesus did for us, not in our own response.

If you hear Jesus talking to you all the time, great! But not everyone does.

Interesting. As a semi-cessationist, I don't believe in 'hearing Jesus' audibly in any way, but do believe that miracles happen, but are not by the hands of men but God himself.

 

[corinth77777]

Interesting. As a semi-cessationist, I don't believe in 'hearing Jesus' audibly in any way, but do believe that miracles happen, but are not by the hands of men but God himself.

Why? don't you believe you can hear him audibly? Yet believe that miracles happen?
If God works through MEN why not the hand of man?

 

[Tayla]

What is your viewpoint? I want to know the true way to be closer to the Godhead.

I feel the presence of Jesus all the time. When I do I often say verbally out loud or mentally to myself: "Jesus, Lord God, Creator of everything good and beautiful".

Examples of when I feel the presence of Jesus.

1. I play with my dogs and sense how incredibly happy it makes them. Then I think of Jesus and feel a presence, like I'm in the company of a close friend.
2. I'm walking in the forest and see something of nature that is awe-inspiring. Same routine.
3. I read a Bible verse which causes my spirit to become enlivened by the awesomeness. Same routine.

 

[ChristIsSovereign]

I feel the presence of Jesus all the time. When I do I often say verbally out loud or mentally to myself: "Jesus, Lord God, Creator of everything good and beautiful".

Examples of when I feel the presence of Jesus.

1. I play with my dogs and sense how incredibly happy it makes them. Then I think of Jesus and feel a presence, like I'm in the company of a close friend.
2. I'm walking in the forest and see something of nature that is awe-inspiring. Same routine.
3. I read a Bible verse which causes my spirit to become enlivened by the awesomeness. Same routine.

I went on a wild goose chase almost embracing Catholicism before coming back to where I started with a new understanding Biblical Christianity.