Contraception is a tricky subject and I cannot stress enough how important it is for both of you to seriously educate yourself on all options and come to a decision together. It seems to me that a lot of the time the choice is made by default ("Well, she's already on the pill..." or "We don't like this or this so I guess that leaves...") If you don't deliberately make the choice together now, I guarantee that one of you will want to dispute it later.
The Pill: Redguard is right. Generally speaking, most posters around here are not fans of hormonal birth control for the reasons he brought up - mood swings, weight gain, loss of sex drive, etc. I, personally, was on a low dose birthcontrol pill called Mircette (similar to OrthoTriCylen Lo ) for the first 3 years of our marriage and experienced no ill effects. I have had many friends who have not been so lucky. Some became incredibly moody and gained weight. Others experienced chronic yeast infections. Nothing makes a woman less in the mood than feeling chubby, cranky and itchy. I got off it mostly because I began to feel like I was bearing the majority of the burden for contraception. I had to go the doctor for the exam. I had to go the store and get the pills. I had to remember to take them everyday. Basically, he never had to think about it at all.
A lot of people use the pill because it is an easy, convienent and no-brainer. I'm still torn about it because for a young couple just starting out, it *might* not be such a bad idea. However, assuming you have no experience to compare it against, the Pill could effect her negatively and you might not know that its to blame right away. Adjusting to marriage is hard enough without throwing all of the above described issues in the mix. In addition, I can't help but think that the method puts too much of the responsibility on the woman. IMO, contraception should always be a team effort.
Condoms: Okay, yes, making love with a cheap condom is like doing it in a wet suit. You feel next to nothing and you smell of rubber. The key is don't buy cheap condoms. I can't say enough about Crown Skinless Skin and Beyond Seven. They are so thin you can hardly tell they are there and there's no icky smell. I've also heard good things about Kimono Microthin. I've tried Durex Avanti, a non-latex condom, and love it though some have complained it's a bit baggy and it is the priciest of them all. I've tried Trojan's new Elexa condoms and while they are significantly better than regular condoms, I still think Crown and Beyond 7 are the way to go. I also love the site condomdepot.com. It's clean, discrete and you can buy variety packs to try out different brands.
I also want to add that condoms have the added benefit of getting both of you involved in contraception and inspires (in me anway) a definite respect for the power of sex to create new life. It seems like a bummer to stop and put one on, but on the other hand, it also serves as a powerful reminder that a sexual relationship is not for faint of heart. It has consequences, even if you're married.
NFP: I haven't tried this method, but I believe it works. But like any method, it only works if you use it correctly. I think it is a fabulous idea for a husband and wife to be familiar with how their (and especially her) bodies work and someday, I'm gonna hop on this bandwagon and try it out. People go on about how complicated it is and hard to remember, but I figure if I can remember to take a pill everyday, can't I remember to take my temperature?
Personally, I think the best form of birthcontrol would be some combination of NFP and condoms. That way you can have sex when you want, have that lovely skin to skin contact and on the fertile days, back it up with the ever fabulous blue Crown Skinless Skin condoms. If you're like us and have one doubter of NFP and the other believes but hasn't studied it enough, I would stick with condoms exclusively. Again, we agreed in this method together - it was not made by default.
I cannot recommend "pull-out" or Deprovera. Pull-out does not work because even prior to [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] there can be "leakage" that contains sperm. Once you've "put it in," it's too late. Depo is a very, very strong treatment of hormones. Many women experience severe side-effects with break-through bleeding that lasts for months and then have a very difficult time concieving afterwards. It can take up to a year to get out of a woman's system. Frankly, I can't believe it's legal.
Anyway, that's my take. Sorry for the extra long post. God bless on your up-coming marriage.
Grace aka CondomGirl
How many people really have the time to keep this calendar consistent not to mention accurate?
I want the surest thing possible outside of abstience, not a chart that I hope I'm right about.
