What is flirting?

[Sieben]

I think I am confused on what it is.

 

[sidewalk keeper]

Being overtly interested and/or paying special attention which may or may not involve touching, excessive eye contact, blushing, laughing, hair-twirling etc.

 

[Sieben]

lol.

I only ask because I have been accused of flirting when I am only talking. Is this my fault?

 

[Socktastic]

Wikipedia, fount of all knowledge, says:

Flirting (or coquetry) is a playful romantic or sexual overture by one person to another subtly indicating an interest in a deeper relationship with the other person, and can involve verbal communication as well as body language. A female flirt, especially a young one, is sometimes called a coquette; but when a man flirts with a woman it is sometimes referred to as gallantry or chivalry.

Flirting usually involves speaking and behaving in a way that suggests a mildly greater intimacy than the actual relationship between the parties would justify, though within the rules of social etiquette, which generally disapproves of a direct expression of sexual interest. This may be accomplished by communicating a sense of playfulness or irony. Double entendres, with one meaning more formally appropriate and another more suggestive, may be used. Body language can include flicking the hair, eye contact, brief touching, open stances, proximity etc. Verbal communication of interest can include the vocal tone, such as pace, volume, intonation. Challenges (teasing, questions, qualifying, feigned disinterest) serve to increase tension, test intention and congruity.

Flirting behaviour varies across cultures due to different modes of social etiquette such as how closely people should stand (proxemics), how long to hold eye contact, and so forth. However, ethologist Irenäus Eibl-Eibesfeldt found that in places as different as Africa and North America, women do exactly the same prolonged stare followed by a head tilt away with a little smile.

Source




In real life applications people get accused of flirting all the time depending on how someone interprets the actions of another. Some people are naturally very friendly, which leads to people assuming they are flirting, and others could make bread roll sound like a flirtatious come on.

Some people consider any amount of friendliness as flirting. That says a lot about them.

 

[sidewalk keeper]

lol.

I only ask because I have been accused of flirting when I am only talking. Is this my fault?

Some people take simple communication as a form of flirting.. (I don't. At all.) Excessive communication to get to know someone a lot better may show interest, but I don't consider it flirting.

Edit: Though according to wikipedia, my opinion is inaccurate.

 

[sidewalk keeper]

However, ethologist Irenäus Eibl-Eibesfeldt found that in places as different as Africa and North America, women do exactly the same prolonged stare followed by a head tilt away with a little smile.

That part is actually pretty interesting. That action is not culture driven.

In real life applications people get accused of flirting all the time depending on how someone interprets the actions of another. Some people are naturally very friendly, which leads to people assuming they are flirting, and others could make bread roll sound like a flirtatious come on.

Some people consider any amount of friendliness as flirting. That says a lot about them.

HA! To both.

 

[Sieben]

In real life applications people get accused of flirting all the time depending on how someone interprets the actions of another. Some people are naturally very friendly, which leads to people assuming they are flirting, and others could make bread roll sound like a flirtatious come on.

Some people consider any amount of friendliness as flirting. That says a lot about them.

Ahhh yeah I suppose that is how it is

I was just wondering.. because I kept getting confused when they said I was flirting with them

 

[Lord Of The Forest]

This has been an informative thread. I shall tuck these bits of information away for future reference.

 

[twnsrkr]

Girls are often more open and expressive with people that they are only friends with, while guys are generally a little more reserved when dealing with females with whom they are uninterested. So when a girl is nice to a guy, his man brain automatically tells him that he has a chance with her.

So, as I said in another thread, the cold stare will keep'em away

 

[Saucy]

I've been accused for being overly flirty, when really I just think I'm trying to be a nice, sweet guy. I call ladies beautiful and lovely because I think most ladies are beautiful and lovely and is more of a description of their personality on my part.

I may have crushes, but to me they aren't anything more than "hey, this person is really cool." there have only been three ladies on CF I actually developed feelings for...but to me I may crush on someone who I seem to get along with really well and all that.

So I think it's different with everyone. What some think is being flirty, others think is just being nice. Depends on who you talk to.

 

[Patroklos]

Flirting is for the world, not believers and followers of God. God calls us to Holiness, not lewdness. Flirting is sinful.

 

[Lord Of The Forest]

Flirting is for the world, not believers and followers of God. God calls us to Holiness, not lewdness. Flirting is sinful.

A valid point in that indeed we are called to holiness.

Playful banter betwixt the sexes, I don't know if particularly malign, but certainly if the design is to bed the brother or sister, there is wickedness afoot.

 

[Patroklos]

A valid point in that indeed we are called to holiness.

Playful banter betwixt the sexes, I don't know if particularly malign, but certainly if the design is to bed the brother or sister, there is wickedness afoot.

Anything that would be wrong between a married man and another woman is sinful. As they say, don't do anything you wouldn't want your spouse doing with somebody else. That means, be cordial, friendly, but don't express any interest sexually because that is lasciviousness.

 

[Lord Of The Forest]

Anything that would be wrong between a married man and another woman is sinful. As they say, don't do anything you wouldn't want your spouse doing with somebody else. That means, be cordial, friendly, but don't express any interest sexually because that is lasciviousness.

Do you prescribe arranged marriages such that there is no sexual attraction involved in courtship? Do you believe that marriages founded upon eros love are misbegotten, being founded in error? Surely many arranged marriages have blossomed forth into a relationship brimming with a conjugal love shared by the man and his wife, but have not also many marriages which came into being from a young man and woman falling in love?

Also, are you averse to engaged couples displaying their affection for one another, or must this be reserved for the time after marriage?

Also, respectfully, I must rebuke your definitions: lascivious necessitates an overt sexual desire and fixation, whilst flirtation denotes only a recreational interest in courtship behaviour. I cannot gainsay that I harbour beliefs not dissimilar from yours, but they are still discrepant.

 

[Patroklos]

I cannot gainsay that I harbour some similar beliefs; however, do you prescribe arranged marriages such that there is no sexual attraction involved in courtship? Do you believe that marriages founded upon eros love are misbegotten, being founded in error? Surely many arranged marriages have blossomed forth into a relationship brimming with a conjugal love shared by the man and his wife, but have not also many marriages which came into being from a young man and woman falling in love?

Also, are you averse to engaged couples displaying their affection for one another, or must this be reserved for the time after marriage?

Also, respectfully, I must rebuke your definitions: lascivious necessitates an overt sexual desire and fixation, whilst flirtation denotes only a recreational interest in courtship behaviour.

It's not my place to judge others' marriages. By their fruits, you will know them and what they stand for.

 

[Ryu2000]

Anything that would be wrong between a married man and another woman is sinful. As they say, don't do anything you wouldn't want your spouse doing with somebody else. That means, be cordial, friendly, but don't express any interest sexually because that is lasciviousness.

SHORYUKEN!!!

 

[Sieben]

Kaaaa
Meeeeee
Haaa Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 

[Sieben]

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

[Ryu2000]

K. O.!

 

[redblue22]

um, I could use some flirting right about now. who could I flirt with... hmm...

by the way, what time period have I travelled back to? earlier today someone was telling me about chivalry! church people are so weird. you use all these words I never hear anywhere else. you know what my first religious book was? the dictionary.