what is a vow? I think I've bound myself in knots

[lacell2007]

I am aware that God expects us fulfill our vows to him and that our
yes be yes and our no be no, even if the vow is made hastily. This is
exactly what I would expect of my neighbor.

My problem is that I don't know how many vows I've made to God. When I pray a prayer like, "God please forgive me for washing hair down the sink instead of cleaning it out with a paper towel and putting it in the trash. I won't do it again", is that a vow? Please don't laugh - I'm being serious. I know I can be really legalistic and perfectionistic.

Anyway, now I feel like I have to wipe individual hairs with toilet
paper instead of splashing them down the sink because I said I would (yes be yes and no be no). If I'm tired or in a hurry I don't want to do this. I could give many such examples.

I'm in big trouble b/c I've probably made scores of these vows - and I think this has caused by a GREAT DEAL of frustration and depression lately. I feel like I am walled in by my own promises to God, almost all of which were hastily made. I'm not blaming God. I know that He has every right to have us keep our word to him. He certainly keeps His to us.

 

[kenrapoza]

I am aware that God expects us fulfill our vows to him and that our
yes be yes and our no be no, even if the vow is made hastily. This is
exactly what I would expect of my neighbor.

My problem is that I don't know how many vows I've made to God. When I pray a prayer like, "God please forgive me for washing hair down the sink instead of cleaning it out with a paper towel and putting it in the trash. I won't do it again", is that a vow? Please don't laugh - I'm being serious. I know I can be really legalistic and perfectionistic.

Anyway, now I feel like I have to wipe individual hairs with toilet
paper instead of splashing them down the sink because I said I would (yes be yes and no be no). If I'm tired or in a hurry I don't want to do this. I could give many such examples.

I'm in big trouble b/c I've probably made scores of these vows - and I think this has caused by a GREAT DEAL of frustration and depression lately. I feel like I am walled in by my own promises to God, almost all of which were hastily made. I'm not blaming God. I know that He has every right to have us keep our word to him. He certainly keeps His to us.

Hi There Just out of curiosity, why do you make vows about such minor details? The example that you mentioned is not a sin, washing hair down the sink is not a moral issue. Why do you ask forgiveness for it? I think you're making things very difficult on yourself emotionally and psychologically. Washing hair down the sink might not be the best idea because you don't want a nasty clog, but the Bible doesn't address it.

When we make vows we should be careful and not make them hastily and about every little thing. A vow should be something like what you promise to your spouse before God on your wedding day. I think you might want to make sure your focus is on growing in the Lord and true holiness, that will set you free from legalism which is a snare that Christ has set us free from. Not that we can live any sinful life we want, but knowing that our position before God is not based on our performance but on Christ's sacrifice is liberating. Remember Christ died to set us free from bondage, don't put yourself back in it.

 

[lacell2007]

Thank you so very much for your reply, Kenraposa. I am still trying to figure out which vows I have made are binding. Here are more examples:

- read at least one chapter of the Bible every day (reasonable?)
- look my best every day (translation - iron clothes, wear makeup)

I know that I told God I'd do things foolishly. Now my problem is what to do with it.

I know that Old Testament makes it clear that you must keep your vows, even if you spoke hastily.

 

[SeraphimSarov]

I know that I told God I'd do things foolishly. Now my problem is what to do with it.

I know that Old Testament makes it clear that you must keep your vows, even if you spoke hastily.

Remember that the whole of the new covenant with Christ assumes that man is utterly incapable of keeping the Law of the OT. God knows full well that you can't hold up to the vows you've made to Him. You know full well that you can't hold up to them as well. If it were me, I'd probably repent of having made promises to God I couldn't keep and keep on attempting to live a Godly life in peace and repentance as commanded us.

Does that make sense?

 

[kenrapoza]

I think I'd have to agree with KjellBjarne. Remember that God is not an impersonal law that must be satisfied. He is a living and personal God loves you and cares about you, He doesn't want you to be in bondage to these things. Jesus told us that we will face persecution for his sake, don't sweat the little stuff

My point is that God knows where you're at, and He knows what you're feeling. I can identify with what you're going through. When I first became a Christian, I didn't really know my Bible and I didn't have a way of getting to church (I wasn't old enough to drive.) The result was that I did not understand Grace and I suffered from a severe lack of perspective and so became legalistic about the minute details of life, turning everything into a moral/theological issue. I didn't even know what facial expressions were okay to make!!

Anyways, now that I'm not focusing and spending so much energy on non-issues, I can use my time in a more Godly way and not feel so anxious all the time. When you start focusing more and more on the person and work of Jesus Christ and less on your flaws, things come into perspective. You will feel liberated and begin to grow and move forward in your spiritual life.

Soo...about all those vows you already made. Listen, you made some promises about unimportant issues that you can't keep; you know it, I know it, and Jesus definitely knows it. He's not sitting up there waiting to punish you for flushing hair down the drain again. If I were in that situation I would simply admit to God that I had made some vows that I shouldn't have made, are not a concern to Him, that I can't keep, and that I made from a misunderstanding. I would thank Him for His Grace and that He sent Jesus who died to set us free from the bondage of sin and from the curse of the Law. Then I would renew my commitment to seek Christ and turn my eyes to Him and get them off of my flaws knowing that I don't have to fall into the same mistake again. You'll turn a new corner and it'll be great!

 

[kenrapoza]

Oh, BTW reading a chapter of the bible a day is great and it is an attainable goal!

 

[MoNiCa4316]

Hi I agree with the other posters here. We have freedom in Christ, and if you feel that you have walled yourself in, He wants to let you out! I suggest that you repent of this, and try to obey Him without making promises. Be committed, yes, and try to follow Him as best you can, but don't let your promises control you when He set you free.

Then, you would be free to obey out of love, not out of fear. He knows that we are not perfect, that's why Jesus died for us! He knows that we can't obey the law perfectly, and now that we are in Christ we don't have to make a law for ourselves either. And remember that if something is causing you fear or worry, it's not from God!

Now I do agree with you that our 'yes' should be a yes, and our 'no' should be no. It says this in the Bible. But if you make a mistake, repent of it and accept forgiveness, and try to do better. Don't beat yourself up over it!
I suggest reading Galatians 3, it has really helped me in this.

God bless!

monica

 

[PioMagnus]

I think that you have been given some very good advice by the above posters.

Repent of your hasty vows, and come before God anew. He's more than happy to wipe the slate clean...it's kind of his thing.

It sounds like you also have a problem seeing sin where it isn't...this is a specific spiritual affliction that many suffer from. So it would be wise to get a holy, wise and mature Christian "spiritual director" (could be a pastor or holy friend/acquaintance) to talk with regularly about things like this.


Pio Magnus

 

[grvsend35]

I agree with everyone so far, I say get yourself some draino and wash those hairs away.


God Bless