What if your spouse wanted to do plural marriage?

[Catholic Wife]

First, he definitely would not find another woman who would put up with all of his quirks and eccentricities.

Second, he can have another wife only if she does all the cooking, cleaning and laundry, too, so I can sit around eating bon-bons all day. Oh, and I would want my own room so I don't have to suffer through his snoring at night. And I would insist on my own home so I don't have to put up with another woman trying to be the "alpha female" in my home. And he'd better find another job to support us all.

Finally, he'd better find another religious affiliation because, somehow, I don't think the Catholic Church (or his parents) would condone this.

 

[TankGirl]

First, he definitely would not find another woman who would put up with all of his quirks and eccentricities.

Second, he can have another wife only if she does all the cooking, cleaning and laundry, too, so I can sit around eating bon-bons all day. Oh, and I would want my own room so I don't have to suffer through his snoring at night. And I would insist on my own home so I don't have to put up with another woman trying to be the "alpha female" in my home. And he'd better find another job to support us all.

Finally, he'd better find another religious affiliation because, somehow, I don't think the Catholic Church (or his parents) would condone this.

Not looking hopeful for him, is it?

 

[Athene]

Lol, I said to my husband ''darling, if you ever feel like bringing home another man to be my second husband, feel free''
and he said ''what have they been talking about on CF this time?''

He knows me so well.

 

[Lisa0315]

Lol, I said to my husband ''darling, if you ever feel like bringing home another man to be my second husband, feel free''
and he said ''what have they been talking about on CF this time?''

He knows me so well.

ROFL!

 

[OnTheWay]

Well, "plural marriage" can refer to polyamory, which is also not swinging. It's three or more people all in one relationship, and all sexually involved.

I find the idea revolting, myself.

Polygamy, as such, is a historical practice rooted in a man taking more than one wife in a legal and/or religious sense. Many swingers develop "regulars" with whom they share partners or sexual relations often. That certainly could fall under the title of polyamory. Given that polyamory is largely a rejection of tradition notions of marriage and relationships, logic would dictate it would not include "plural marriage," whether those marriages fall into polygamy or polyandry. A major focus of polyamory is the fluidity of relationships, that precludes marriage, or commitments, entering into the picture.

Not really my cup of tea either, but then again neither is S&M, or a whole host of other sexual quirks that some people enjoy.....

 

[Ryanswife]

That would be a big negative for me. Marriage is hard enough without adding more drama to it. Plus, that kind of thing just doesn't interest us in the first place.

 

[Redguard]

King Solomon had like... 700 wives and 300 concubines.

1,000 women!!

 

[Ryanswife]

And look what having all those strange wives cost him. 1,000 women...most men have a hard time with 1. LOL

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

lol... well seriously it would be a dealbreaker...

 

[invisiblebabe]

How about no. I'd never have married him if he were interested in that sort of thing. The only ones allowed in our bed except for us are our three cats, and that's how it's going to stay.

 

[Antje]

Sometimes I pretend that I'm the most open-minded person in the world, and then I pose myself questions such as this one. I try to work through them logically (as far as that is possible at all). I've asked myself this one before, and my "amoral, logical" answer was that there's no way to do this without causing serious trust issues. As soon as you have more than 2 people involved in a romantic relationship, there's always someone who will feel (or be) left out at some point, and competition might develop, or favourites, or whatever. I just would not be able to trust my husband the way I do if there was a third person in our relationship.

Okay, back to reality now. NO WAY, JOSE. There, that's the simple answer.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

How would you respond to such a proposition?

"No. Next question"

 

[HippiePoser]

After reading this topic, I posed this question to my husband last night.

He said there was absolutely no way he could deal with having another wife.

I'm pretty open-minded, so I told him my honest answer. I'd never want another husband. Way too much work. But if he had another wife, I'd want her to be "our" wife, not "his" wife. It would have to be a relationship with the three of us, not him and me vs. him and her. There would be too much room for competition there. Granted, never having been in the situation, this might sound/seem too easy for me. I wouldn't know until I was there, in the place.

 

[Bootstrap]

Well, if it weren't against Christian teachings...I would love for my husband to have a second wife.

Why would you love that?

Jonathan

 

[Bootstrap]

King Solomon had like... 700 wives and 300 concubines.

1,000 women!!

King David and King Solomon led very merry wives
With very many concubines, and very many wives.
But when they both grew older, with sighing and with qualms,
King Solomon wrote the Proverbs and King David wrote the Psalms.

(I forget the original author, and I probably didn't get the poem right either ...)

Jonathan

 

[OnTheWay]

Of course, as much as plural marriage doesn't jive with western culture, it's equally silly to pretend that our rejection of it is logical. If we grew up in the Muslim world we'd obviously have very different understandings and experiences with it. My wife has some Muslim family members, one such relation has a couple of wives. It's not a problem for them, but then again they don't subscribe to a lot of the cultural notions we do.
In every part of the world the percentage of the population that is female is larger than male, in some places significantly so. Russia for example is almost a 60/40 split. Marrying outside of Russia is how Russian women are tending to deal with the problem, but should that option cease to exist for whatever reason there'd be only two options:
1.Large part of the population unmarried with no prospects for that to change.
2.Polygamy
I guess I just don't see why some people get all bent out of shape over this, or the ick factor of it, but fully fall into line that we aren't supposed to have an ick factor with homosexuals. I say live and let live, if you want a bunch of wives and find women that'll go for it, best of luck to you.

 

[Captivated]

Not as easy to imagine a woman having a bunch of husbands is it?

 

[Lisa0315]

Why would you love that?

Jonathan

Sorry, bitter woman speak for "Let somebody else take care of him".

My husband is an addict, disabled (due in part because of his addiction), and bipolar. It is not an easy relationship. It would be very easy to divorce him, but I am convicted to stay. My prayer is that God will save him before it is too late.

Lisa

 

[moonkitty]

I don’t think having extra sexual partners in my marriage would work out for my hubby and I. But I don’t really have an “ick” factor to it. If some other couple wants this and can make it work, then more power to them.

 

[Oblivious]

Only if he brought home another man, I couldn't be doing with another woman around the place, I'm a Queen Bee you see. But with another man I could have one rubbing my feet while the other is rubbing my back, it would be marvellous.

Hmmm...that could work!