what if YOU are the temptation/sin for your loved one

[AlyssaChen]

What if you are the temptation, the sin, for your boyfriend?
It's something you can't control, it is just you, only you, no other girls have this effect on your boyfriend.
But it's not a good thing, temptation is a sin, and God especially hates sexual temptation. You always reject his move, trying to help him staying a good Christian. But you can't control what he feels, and in the end, you have to suffer because he can't control himself. He will blame it on you, and will try to avoid the temptation (=you).
It really sucks, I sometimes hate myself, because my existence is the sin for someone I love.

What can I do

 

[writergirl4god]

Alyssa, please understand that YOU are not causing the temptation for your boyfriend. What he's struggling with is the same battle that most men have - an issue with lust and self-control. You may be the object of his struggle right now, but you are not the reason for it.

There are a few things you can do to make it easier. Dress modestly (this is a big one that a lot of girls don't even think about these days). Don't allow yourselves to be in tempting situations - spend the majority of your time together in public, or with others. And don't allow things to get physical, not even a little, because once you start it's hard to stop.

Again, you are NOT the reason your boyfriend is having issues with purity - it's simply a struggle that the great majority of men deal with. You can take a few measures to help, but ultimately he is the one responsible for how he handles this. We all have areas of temptation that are difficult for us - please don't take the blame for his.

Love from a sister in Christ,
Jess

 

[FaithPrevails]

What if you are the temptation, the sin, for your boyfriend?
It's something you can't control, it is just you, only you, no other girls have this effect on your boyfriend.
But it's not a good thing, temptation is a sin, and God especially hates sexual temptation. You always reject his move, trying to help him staying a good Christian. But you can't control what he feels, and in the end, you have to suffer because he can't control himself. He will blame it on you, and will try to avoid the temptation (=you).
It really sucks, I sometimes hate myself, because my existence is the sin for someone I love.

What can I do

The bolded part concerns me. He should not be blaming his struggle on you or punishing you for it by trying to avoid you. That is a red flag to me that there may be cause for concern that you are in an unhealthy relationship.

Is there someone (a counselor or pastor) that you can talk to about this?

 

[Johnnz]

Two people in love. Then a desire for sex becomes part of that. That is normal and healthy. But there needs to be boundaries. Very (most?) often is the girl who gives up resisting. Don't see your boyfriend as someone who is perverted (unless you have good evidence that he is) but as a guy who has some work to do to not pressure you beyond your convictions.

John
NZ