What if I was wrong? [WARNING - MAY TRIGGER OCD]

[guitarintro]

Before I start, what I am about to say may trigger OCD, so if you are currently recovering, please think cautiously before reading it. I am directing this thread towards OCD experts and those who have recovered from OCD.



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I am currently still struggling with OCD and it is something I really want to eliminate. I want to start the new year without OCD, but each day I still find myself countering bad thoughts and doing things repetitively just to reassure myself. There are times I am able to dismiss these intrusive thoughts via 'Exposure Response Therapy". It makes me feel better, but the other day, I thought: what if I am dismissing the wrong thoughts? What if I am making light of the situation when it is actually quite serious? Would God punish me? Would it be too late by then? Will I be convicted on judgement day? Would I be responsible and would it come back to bite me?

For example, I started a thread regarding "would dating a Christian girl you met on Halloween be wrong?". Many replied me with No. But then I thought more about it. What happens if this situation is linked to Romans 14; if you think it is wrong, for you it is wrong? Is God trying to prevent me from meeting this girl or is it OCD making something out of nothing?

Hypothetical situation: If I do get together with this girl I met on Halloween and we end up being with each other for a very long time, even married, would God judge me when the time comes and say, "You dated/married a girl in which you were unsure of; you thought it was wrong at first, but you still went for it." Does that lead to hell? Would I be living in sin as long as I am with this girl?

I've passed on Christian girls when I had the slightest concern. It seems like I am trying to find a girl in the perfect situation that won't give me any intrusive thoughts, but it's so difficult as intrusive thoughts pop up all the time! I finally find someone I am really interested in, and then ta-da, a bad thought arises. It's not just with dating, but with other things. Picking musical instruments as well. If I go with a brand name that gave me bad thoughts, will I be held accountable until the end of my time?

Sorry, I asked a lot of questions in this thread, but my ideas are very convoluted. I feel a lot of the excitment and joy has been sucked out of my life because of what I am going though. Simple decisions are exaggerated into life-threatening decisions. I am playing everything safely. I am living in fear. Fear of making the wrong decision and being held accountable for the rest of my life. I am confused and need some Christian wisdom.

 

[sleepythesahm]

hugs
Halloween is agreeably not a day to look for christian love. That being said, God does whatever he pleases, and maybe it is his will for you to meet herI believe God will show you if its wrong.Few people marry the wrong people and realize suddenly later it was a bad call,more often than not they can think back to being shown it wasnt right before they did it. That being said too, I married questionably, and knew it a million times before I did. Am I miserable living in sin and pain daily,not really. Because God has a plan. Worst case scenario, if it was wrong and you still married her, God could change hher, she could be restored honor from you, you could show her the glory of your Lord. But if you just met her,no need jumping the gun here
I say meet with her unless you really really feel like theres a reason you shouldnt.OCD or not, sometimes you have to trust your gut.
May the good lord guide you.

 

[guitarintro]

hugs
Halloween is agreeably not a day to look for christian love. That being said, God does whatever he pleases, and maybe it is his will for you to meet herI believe God will show you if its wrong.

What happens when Christians find their significant other on this day and live on to lead happy, Christian lives?

 

[sleepythesahm]

then they go on to live happy christian lives!
you know,a day is only a day.It has no other power than what you give it.
in some cases,its possible thaat the day brings out the wackos. I sure cant think of another day where people act so .....unusual,and down right blasphemous. But they do it other days too,just not as blatantly.
I think you should give it a try, or if you decide not to, don't. Just don't dwell. If she's gods plan for you, it will happen

 

[guitarintro]

Here is something that concerns me.

The outcome of whichever decision I make. If I follow through with dating a girl I met on Halloween, would this decision come back to bite me?

If I don't follow through with my decision and I avoid dating her, would it be a sign of superstition since the day you meet someone doesn't matter?

I hope this makes sense. I am concerned about the choice I make and the outcome of that choice.

 

[Ryskee182]

dude. from having gone through some of the worst religous OCD ever and pretty much hittin' rock bottom, i can say that all these fears and worrys in yer head are not from God. its OCD

 

[guitarintro]

Thanks for the response. I guess my main concern is the outcome of my decision. Let me elaborate. For example, composing a song. Say I am composing a song and a thought popped up: "It is very sinful or blasphemous to compose this song." However, I classify it as an OCD thought and proceed in composing the song.

Now, what if I was wrong in the first place? What if that song was actually blasphemous and not of OCD?

That's my main concern. At the same time, I don't want to live in fear.

So what happens if the choice I made was wrong? What happens if it was really God telling me not to do something and I disobeyed Him? At the end of time, what will happen to me?

 

[seajoy]

dude. from having gone through some of the worst religous OCD ever and pretty much hittin' rock bottom, i can say that all these fears and worrys in yer head are not from God. its OCD

Amen! Been there, done that.

All your questions, guitar guy, are full blown ocd. Man, you sound just like I did when I was first diagnosed. Ryskee hit the nail on the head. You are reading way too much into everything you think about Scripture, girls, etc.... Jesus took care of all sins on the cross. You can't think yourself into salvation. Trust me on this.....do the therapy as hard as you do your thinking, and you will find that God has nothing but peace to offer you. Remember...all the thinking and "figuring out" that you are doing has not helped you.

See a doctor to help you do with the therapy.

You can do this, guitar! I did, and my religious ocd was so bad, that I could not walk some days. I was locked into the same thinking that you have right now. I was in the hospital many times for my ocd. I was living in pure torture. You are not so bad that you cannot be rid of this, or at least be able to ignore the thoughts. Like I said...I've been there.

God's blessings to you during this Christmas season. Jesus loves you...He is not out to get you at every turn. He came to save you.

 

[QUannie]

Gutarintro,
please bear with me but i think i may understand what you are asking.......
are you asking that if you make a mistake, say marrying someone you met on holloween,
would that put you in a perpetual/constant state of sin? Is that what you are asking?

If it is, look to the scriptures.......
first, what is sin.....
#264-Greek= to miss the mark;to err, especially morally to sin; for your faults;offend;sin;trespass.

*I have the Greek definitions for faults, offenses, trespasses,err,...it is so extensive, it literally covers any sin possible.there are other words too...lewdness, lawlessness ect.

So if someone sinned by marrying someone they were not supposed to, but realized there sin afterward and confessed it to God....His word says they are forgiven
1 John 1:9
Sin is an act....we did something wrong or bad, and if we confess that bad to God and trust Christ for cleansing and forgiveness, He does.
If it kept us in a constant state of sin, He would not have said He cleanses us......
He actually TAKES the sin away.....
Micah 7:9....Rom.4:7&8....1John 4:9&10....Hebrews 8:12....Psalm103:12.
So if the sin that was confessed is taken away, how can that person be in a constant state of sin?
Think of David and Bathsheba.......how he entered into marriage with her was wrong, but the scriptures say 2 Samuel 12:13 "Then David said to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord. Nathan replied, The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die." {niv}
He had consequences but God had taken his sin away.....

I too struggle in this area, it seems too easy, and sometimes i honestly have a hard time really believing my sin is gone or why would He remove my sin, why would He spare me, but it is through out His word, He takes away the sins of the world!!
We have to recieve the promise BY FAITH!!!!!

I hope I was understanding your dilemma, if it is not what you were saying, please let me know.

blessing,
Q

 

[guitarintro]

I like to thank everyone for the replies as I am gaining a better understanding.

Gutarintro,
please bear with me but i think i may understand what you are asking.......
are you asking that if you make a mistake, say marrying someone you met on holloween,
would that put you in a perpetual/constant state of sin? Is that what you are asking?

If it is, look to the scriptures.......
first, what is sin.....
#264-Greek= to miss the mark;to err, especially morally to sin; for your faults;offend;sin;trespass.

*I have the Greek definitions for faults, offenses, trespasses,err,...it is so extensive, it literally covers any sin possible.there are other words too...lewdness, lawlessness ect.

So if someone sinned by marrying someone they were not supposed to, but realized there sin afterward and confessed it to God....His word says they are forgiven
1 John 1:9
Sin is an act....we did something wrong or bad, and if we confess that bad to God and trust Christ for cleansing and forgiveness, He does.
If it kept us in a constant state of sin, He would not have said He cleanses us......
He actually TAKES the sin away.....
Micah 7:9....Rom.4:7&8....1John 4:9&10....Hebrews 8:12....Psalm103:12.
So if the sin that was confessed is taken away, how can that person be in a constant state of sin?
Think of David and Bathsheba.......how he entered into marriage with her was wrong, but the scriptures say 2 Samuel 12:13 "Then David said to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord. Nathan replied, The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die." {niv}
He had consequences but God had taken his sin away.....

I too struggle in this area, it seems too easy, and sometimes i honestly have a hard time really believing my sin is gone or why would He remove my sin, why would He spare me, but it is through out His word, He takes away the sins of the world!!
We have to recieve the promise BY FAITH!!!!!

I hope I was understanding your dilemma, if it is not what you were saying, please let me know.

blessing,
Q

Quannie, I think you understand exactly what I am trying to ask. It is the 'constant state of sin' that I am afraid of based on the wrong decision I make.

A part of me thinks there is nothing wrong with marrying someone you met on Halloween. In fact, fear of marrying someone you met on Halloween seems more like superstition than religion. At the same time, I was unsure whether God was specifically telling me it is wrong or whether it was OCD. I think it's important I understand this, because it could apply to any other situation that requires decision-making.

So two follow-up questions:

1) If for some reason it turned out that marrying someone you met on Halloween is wrong, does that mean I will have to divorce her to gain God's Forgiveness?

2) If I do not divorce her, does that lead me to hell?

 

[RachelZ]

Hi Guitarintro...sorry you're struggling so much...I can really understand how this type of thinking really screws you up inside! One thing I would say is that all days belong to God and even in the bible it says that some people see all days the same and others honour special days and God doesn't seem to mind which one you choose. The 31st October was created by God and the world and satan have hijacked it...I say hijacked not taken ownership of it cos it still belongs to God. However, becuase this seems very much like OCD thinking I wonder if even if you resolve this one issue whether it may just morph into something slightly different when the next thing arises? Please don't think I'm being judgemental saying that...I know for me when I'm in the grip of something I can be like "if I only sort out this I'll be OK and I can deal with the next issue as OCD" but the next issue comes up and invariably I'm caught in the 'is it, isn't it OCD' tangle. The bottome line is that even if you did make a mistake in what you think God is or isn't saying He is merciful and forgiving...I mean Jonah KNEW what God was telling him to do and didn't do it and still God gave him a second shot at it! Also, it is worth maybe thinking a bit about the fact that God is almighty and we are NOT all mighty and God is able to speak to us clearly OCD or no OCD...the responsibility for us is to listen not to make God hearable and understandable...that bit is down to Him as the parent. Hope that makes sense. I know how hard this is believe me and nothing I say is meant to sound like I'm thinking it's easy or like what I say will change all your anxiety into peace...but I will pray that God will do that for you in His own way and time...take care, Rachel

 

[guitarintro]

Thanks Rachel. Anyone else for post #10?

 

[seajoy]

Thanks Rachel. Anyone else for post #10?

There are only 2 reasons that Christ gave for divorcing someone.

1. Cheating on spouse (unfaithfulness)

2. One spouse abandons the the other. (and that could be in several different ways...like beating one's spouse...etc...)

Anything else is ocd thoughts. It would actually be a sin to divorce someone you met on Halloween, then married, unless one of the above things happens.

You have ocd, my friend. Your thoughts are off kilter. I used to think this way as well....I have been right where you are....thinking I was blaspheming all the time. As you more and more understand ocd, you will get better. God loves you very much. He won't let one of His own fall. You don't hold on to God....He holds on to you.

May you be blessed during this Christmas season with peace in your heart.

Just say "oh well" to those ocd thoughts, and then go on with your day. Do it everytime you have a bad thought about your relationship with our Lord. Trust me, in time, this works. You just have to be consistent. Not easy, by any means. But God will help you. If I could do it, anyone can. His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

In Christ,
seajoy

 

[Untamed Fire]

I've passed on Christian girls when I had the slightest concern. It seems like I am trying to find a girl in the perfect situation that won't give me any intrusive thoughts, but it's so difficult as intrusive thoughts pop up all the time!

Never mind what date you met her or even what religion she professes. You will know you have the right girl for you when you can explain the whole ball of wax concerning intrusive thoughts to her and have her not only understand perfectly and love you anyway, but also do her part to not provoke any without crossing over that line into codependency and enabling of your disease.

It's a tough row to hoe, Bro. But OCDs can be brilliant, loving, loyal, protective, caring, solicitous, attentive partners and its well worth learning their "rules". Well at least i found it so

 

[seajoy]

Never mind what date you met her or even what religion she professes. You will know you have the right girl for you when you can explain the whole ball of wax concerning intrusive thoughts to her and have her not only understand perfectly and love you anyway, but also do her part to not provoke any without crossing over that line into codependency and enabling of your disease.

It's a tough row to hoe, Bro. But OCDs can be brilliant, loving, loyal, protective, caring, solicitous, attentive partners and its well worth learning their "rules". Well at least i found it so

I like this post! I have a spouse that understands me as well, and is a Christian. Praise God for my man.

 

[guitarintro]

Thanks for the input everyone and sorry for being so needy, but I was wondering about more specific questions:

1) If for some reason it turned out that marrying someone you met on Halloween is wrong, does that mean I will have to divorce her to gain God's Forgiveness?

2) If I do not divorce her, does that lead me to hell?

 

[seajoy]

Thanks for the input everyone and sorry for being so needy, but I was wondering about more specific questions:

1) If for some reason it turned out that marrying someone you met on Halloween is wrong, does that mean I will have to divorce her to gain God's Forgiveness?

2) If I do not divorce her, does that lead me to hell?

Those questions were already answered. Check my post #13 above. It really shows me that your thoughts are all ocd. Reassurance does not help someone with ocd. You need therapy, friend.

 

[guitarintro]

Okay, so I was trying to wrap my head around that post. Thanks for pointing it out again, seajoy. This is how I understand it. Essentially, there are only two reasons to divorce and that is unfaithfulness (cheating) or abandoning.

There is no reason to divorce someone you met on Halloween as it would actually be a sin to divorce for this reason. As a result, if I stay with her (and do not divorce her), that will not lead to hell. Furthermore, divorcing someone should only be based on unfaithfulness and abandoning. Other reasons are considered OCD.

Is there a Bible Verse reference? Thanks.

 

[seajoy]

Okay, so I was trying to wrap my head around that post. Thanks for pointing it out again, seajoy. This is how I understand it. Essentially, there are only two reasons to divorce and that is unfaithfulness (cheating) or abandoning.

There is no reason to divorce someone you met on Halloween as it would actually be a sin to divorce for this reason. As a result, if I stay with her (and do not divorce her), that will not lead to hell. Furthermore, divorcing someone should only be based on unfaithfulness and abandoning. Other reasons are considered OCD.

Is there a Bible Verse reference? Thanks.

There is, but I need to find it I'll get back to you.

 

[seajoy]

Ok, you will find them here:
Matthew 19:9 infidelity/cheating
1 Corinthians 7:15 Abandonment

Hope this helps.