- Jan 13, 2012
- 10,733
- 1,498
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- United States
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- Male
- Faith
- Methodist
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- Single
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- US-Democrat
I am NOT depressed or thinking about hurting myself. I just don't know where to put this question.
It has been many years since I even considered an attempt. But someone asked me what stopped me. I have no idea. I have no idea how some friends survived their attempts. God. Somehow.
Other than that, I have no idea what to say. I've rambled on about ideas before. Depression always came and went, so I figure you can wait it out. I often figured no one would care, so no note required. Then I'd get mad that someone might try to sap some attention for being sad when they really didn't care. I worried about hell. Sometimes other people's attempts somehow stopped me.
And a really long time ago I came up with something I called "suicide lifestyle" where one tries to come up with all the reasons not to. Crosses those off. Then decides to do it but makes a huge list of all the things you want to do before you do it. The list usually gets long enough that it would take two lifetimes to complete them all. And if you're creative, well, you have fun and actually put down some ideas that are therapeutic. But I don't want to tell a jumper, "Ok, do it. But first, let me tell you about a little plan."
Talking to people never helped. People get mad at you for disrupting their day. Some people just don't believe you and get mad and send you on your way with whatever you were going to use. Support lines tell you they can't talk to you if you're serious.
I wonder what one is supposed to think. Or especially now, what the heck do you do when someone is seriously considering it? Love, accept, and listen, I know. I just wondered if anyone had heard anything helpful.
It has been many years since I even considered an attempt. But someone asked me what stopped me. I have no idea. I have no idea how some friends survived their attempts. God. Somehow.
Other than that, I have no idea what to say. I've rambled on about ideas before. Depression always came and went, so I figure you can wait it out. I often figured no one would care, so no note required. Then I'd get mad that someone might try to sap some attention for being sad when they really didn't care. I worried about hell. Sometimes other people's attempts somehow stopped me.
And a really long time ago I came up with something I called "suicide lifestyle" where one tries to come up with all the reasons not to. Crosses those off. Then decides to do it but makes a huge list of all the things you want to do before you do it. The list usually gets long enough that it would take two lifetimes to complete them all. And if you're creative, well, you have fun and actually put down some ideas that are therapeutic. But I don't want to tell a jumper, "Ok, do it. But first, let me tell you about a little plan."
Talking to people never helped. People get mad at you for disrupting their day. Some people just don't believe you and get mad and send you on your way with whatever you were going to use. Support lines tell you they can't talk to you if you're serious.
I wonder what one is supposed to think. Or especially now, what the heck do you do when someone is seriously considering it? Love, accept, and listen, I know. I just wondered if anyone had heard anything helpful.
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