What happens if you married the wrong person?

[TheDag]

I remember my mentor once told me that God doesn't necessarily prepare one person to be your significant other. There are many out there who can become your significant other; however, there are those who are better suited for you than the rest.

Firstly I will say my in my experience and what I have observed I do not believe that to be true.

(1) If you married someone not according to God's Will, would you be living in a constant state of sin as long as you are with that person? Would that lead to hell?

I don't believe it would be a constant state of sin. If it was a sin then the sin would have been marrying the person. That is over and done so once you repented then it is forgotten and God can turn the situation into good as he has promised to work for the good of those who love him. This is also evidenced in stories like when Abraham slept with his wifes maidservant to fulfill Gods promise that they would have many descendants instead of letting God do it his way. The result was the birth of ishmael. God had told Hagar (I think that was her name) to go back after she ran away despite Sarah (Abrahams wife) treating her poorly and that if she did go back he would bless her child and his descendants. It is from Ishmael that Arabs are descended. It has been suggested that God blessed them by providing them with oil that has made them rich.

The other point would be if there is not one single person prepared to be your partner then why would it be a sin to be married to the one who is not the best match but is still a match? When we read the story about mary and martha we see that one is busy running around arranging things being a good host and hospitality was very important while the other was sitting at Jesus feet listening to him teach. Jesus did not say you are sinning or you are doing the wrong thing. he said one had chosen what was better. It illustrates how one can make a good choice without making the best choice.

The follow-up question would be (2) Would you be expected to divorce her/him in order to be even with God?

In the new testament in one of Paul's letters he says it is better not to be unequally yoked with a non-believer. However he did add that if they were married they should not leave their partner. For this reason I would say no one should not divorce them to be even with God.

 

[TheDag]

I have no seen you last post but thought as this question may arise for you in the future then it would be good to answer it so you can think about it and prayfully arrive at a conclusion.

(3) For example, say if I thought it may be wrong to marry someone (although she is Christian and not divorced), but I classified it as an OCD thought, ignored the thought and went on to marry her. What happens if it was actually NOT OCD and it was my conscience telling me not to marry someone/her?

(4) Would I be living in a constant state of sin as long as I am with her because I went against my conscience (or what God is telling me) in the beginning?

While God is just he is also loving and merciful. I believe he would understand that you thought it was the OCD and not your conscience provided you gave it some thought and prayer. So if you thought it was OCD then later found out it wasn't then once again I would say there is no justification for divorce.

I would also like to point out that just because there is justification for divorce in certain situations does not mean one has to divorce. Marriages can survive anything if the two people in it are willing to work at it. Remember love is also an action not just a warm fuzzy feeling. For example if my partner was to snap at me because she is tired then because I love her I would choose not to yell back but rather understand she is tired. At a later point in time I may say hey I know you are tired but when you yell at me i am really hurt. So I have chosen to love my wife instead of yelling back which once upon a time would have been my natural instinct once upon a time.