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Beautiful Fireball

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Ok, so I was talking on AIM with my BF and doin the usual hey, how are you type of thing. He said that he did not think that we would be able to talk much today because he is working late and we are in a LDR. Anyway, he also said "there is something else that we need to talk about late on." He then immediately signed off so I could not ask him what he is talking about. I also tried calling him and he didn't pick up his phone. What does this mean? He just said "I love you" like a week ago, and I know that the we need to talk line is not always a great line to hear. Any advice would be aprreciated, I am freaking out a bit here.

A guy's perspective would be great.
 

Hope_0004

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Guess you'll just have to wait and see. That's pretty vague.

I will suggest, though, to leave it alone until he is able to talk to you - no sense in pestering him while he's at work if he wants to talk to you about it when he has time. It will just make ya crazy, and he probably won't appreciate it - I wouldn't!

Who knows, maybe he wants to talk to you about something good!
 
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Beautiful Fireball

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The fact that he had to work late is not a problem at all. He is always having to work later hours. The thing that bothers me is the "we need to talk" line. He signed off immediatley after writing it, even before I had time to finish reading it. I then called him and he didn't answer, and that is really very rare.
 
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Maeyken

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Maybe it's a topic that's been a long time in coming- it might be something he's wanted to talk to you about for awhile but didn't really have it all figured out in his head. Just because someone says they have something to talk to you about doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Maybe it's a topic that he doesn't want to be rushed through- maybe he wants to sit down and have a good discussion about something, rather than trying to fit it in between other activities- and he just wants to let you know that in advance. Sure, it's a little intimidating-sounding, but by thinking it over and trying to guess at what he might be referring to, you are just going to make yourself get upset over something you can't guess! Try to relax and not worry about it. Take it as it comes. It sounds to me as though you are insecure in your relationship. If that's the case- worrying will definitely only make things worse.
 
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MN John

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ChildofGod1586 said:
Ok, so I was talking on AIM with my BF and doin the usual hey, how are you type of thing. He said that he did not think that we would be able to talk much today because he is working late and we are in a LDR. Anyway, he also said "there is something else that we need to talk about late on." He then immediately signed off so I could not ask him what he is talking about. I also tried calling him and he didn't pick up his phone. What does this mean? He just said "I love you" like a week ago, and I know that the we need to talk line is not always a great line to hear. Any advice would be aprreciated, I am freaking out a bit here.

A guy's perspective would be great.

All I can say is try to relax and get your mind off of it.

I don't know your guy, so I couldn't guess which of these is most likely, but I see three possibilities ...

1 - Bad news - What you're afraid of.
2 - Good news or just something significant - Nothing to be worried about.
2 - Nothing really - just an absent-minded comment to remind himself that he has something that he wants to tell you about which really has no major significance at all and he didn't stp to think that it might nhave looked like a big deal the way he wrote it.

It could be any of those. In any case, worrying about it won't help.

Sorry, there's just not enough to go on to be of any real help.
 
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Beautiful Fireball

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Thanks guys for all of the advice. I know I was vague, so you guys did the best you could. Its just that this is my first relationship and I really do not want to get hurt. I decided to just relax and let it go, because I am sure I am making a bigger deal of it then it really is.
Thanks:)
 
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MrsSeptemberPenguin

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ChildofGod1586 said:
Thanks guys for all of the advice. I know I was vague, so you guys did the best you could. Its just that this is my first relationship and I really do not want to get hurt. I decided to just relax and let it go, because I am sure I am making a bigger deal of it then it really is.
Thanks:)

This is kind of off topic, but I felt I should say something. You should not be afraid of being hurt. Yes, you may get hurt, but being afraid will only hinder your relationship. Don't let that get in the way. As far as on topic. I know it's really hard not to jump to conclusions...but try not to. It'll only make you crazy and chances are its nothing as big as you imagine
 
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Beautiful Fireball

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So I talked with my BF, and he decided that we needed to take a break because my family is going through a very, very hard time right now and he feels that my focus needs to be on my family and helping them out. It is just hard because I am moving back to where he is in just three weeks and he said that he doesn't even want to meet up for a while. So I am left very confused and hurt because I was really looking forward to being with him. Oh well, I know that he is right and that my focus needs to be on any other things, it just doesn't make it hurt any less:(
 
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eatenbylocusts

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ChildofGod1586 said:
So I talked with my BF, and he decided that we needed to take a break because my family is going through a very, very hard time right now and he feels that my focus needs to be on my family and helping them out. It is just hard because I am moving back to where he is in just three weeks and he said that he doesn't even want to meet up for a while. So I am left very confused and hurt because I was really looking forward to being with him. Oh well, I know that he is right and that my focus needs to be on any other things, it just doesn't make it hurt any less:(

I'm sorry. For me, more time in prayer is usually what makes it easier. Keep remembering that God will use all these experiences for good.:groupray:
 
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f U z ! o N

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ChildofGod1586 said:
So I talked with my BF, and he decided that we needed to take a break because my family is going through a very, very hard time right now and he feels that my focus needs to be on my family and helping them out. It is just hard because I am moving back to where he is in just three weeks and he said that he doesn't even want to meet up for a while. So I am left very confused and hurt because I was really looking forward to being with him. Oh well, I know that he is right and that my focus needs to be on any other things, it just doesn't make it hurt any less:(
don't worry im going through a break right now too! He seems to care so much for you and your family he thinks he is doing the right thing. Did he say if the break was temporary?
 
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Beautiful Fireball

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f U z ! o N said:
don't worry im going through a break right now too! He seems to care so much for you and your family he thinks he is doing the right thing. Did he say if the break was temporary?
he seemed to say that it was temporary. he still wants to talk and all that. I was just to upset yesterday to ask a lot of questions. i wll be doing that later on.
 
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chocolateloverjen

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ChildofGod1586 said:
Ok, so I was talking on AIM with my BF and doin the usual hey, how are you type of thing. He said that he did not think that we would be able to talk much today because he is working late and we are in a LDR. Anyway, he also said "there is something else that we need to talk about late on." He then immediately signed off so I could not ask him what he is talking about. I also tried calling him and he didn't pick up his phone. What does this mean? He just said "I love you" like a week ago, and I know that the we need to talk line is not always a great line to hear. Any advice would be aprreciated, I am freaking out a bit here.

A guy's perspective would be great.


hey sorry i know i am not a guy but i couldnt help realising that you are in a LDR like myself and my boyfriend.
i have also had this with him, he he, like you know- i need to talk to you later and then not answering phone.

firstly, its most of the time nothing to worry about but sometimes they wanna ask you something personal or just actually talk. its most of the time myself talking when i talk to ric. lol.

also the not answering the phone thing is for me most of the time hes busy at the time and had to go quick or stuff. you know.

dont know if this helped. if you ever wanna tlk you can just pm me.

ive been in LDR nearly 2 years (2 years on 11/06/06).:D
 
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Ginsu

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chrisd53 said:
The dreaded 'we need to talk' line. I heard that once...


Ditto. We broke up. Then I found my wife four years later, and these years are the best years.

you'll be fine.
 
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feesha

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and he said that he doesn't even want to meet up for a while
i guess i'm going to come out and say this..
i find it not-so-great that he wants a break right at the time you're leaving to be there and at a time when you're struggling and need that support. :(
and especially when you're moving there! man.

well, i agree with the previous posters that you should keep on truckin and living and accept things as they are. the hardest things to accept are the ones we don't understand but i also know that sometimes it's good to just surrender and give your guy his space. he may have the cave syndrome :doh: , which is difficult and hurtful to get through
 
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Beautiful Fireball

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feesha said:

i guess i'm going to come out and say this..
i find it not-so-great that he wants a break right at the time you're leaving to be there and at a time when you're struggling and need that support. :(
and especially when you're moving there! man.

well, i agree with the previous posters that you should keep on truckin and living and accept things as they are. the hardest things to accept are the ones we don't understand but i also know that sometimes it's good to just surrender and give your guy his space. he may have the cave syndrome :doh: , which is difficult and hurtful to get through
Thank you for saying that! It really does make me curious as to why all of a sudden he does not want to meet, just as I am about to go out there. And it also makes me realize that I want to be with someone who is going to be supportive of me when I am going through a hard time, because that is what I do for the people I care about. It really makes me wonder if he is the one with the problem and he is just using me as an excuse. Lets just say that me and him have A LOT that we still need to talk about:)
 
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