What does he really mean?

[bubblegirl23]

It's a "Guy Thing".........

* "It's a guy thing."
Really means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,
and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
* "Can I help with dinner?"
Really means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
* "Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
* "It would take too long to explain."
Really means: "I have no idea how it works."
* "I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means: "The batteries in the remote are dead."
* "We're going to be late."
Really means: "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."
* "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
* "That's interesting, dear."
Really means: "Are you still talking?"
* "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means: "I forgot our anniversary again."
* "You expect too much of me."
Really means: "You want me to stay awake."
* "That's women's work."
Really means: "It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."
* "You know how bad my memory is."
Really means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."
* "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means: "I have severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
* "I do help around the house."
Really means: "I once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket."
* "Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means: "I sure hope I think of some reasons pretty soon."
* "I can't find it."
Really means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
* "What did I do this time?"
Really means: "What did you catch me doing?"
* "I heard you."
Really means: "I haven't no idea what you just said, and am hoping
desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
* "You look terrific."
Really means: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."
* "I missed you."
Really means: "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."
* "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means: "I'm lost. I have no idea where we are, and no one will ever see us alive again."
* "We share the housework."
Really means: "I make the messes, you clean them up."
* "This relationship is getting too serious."
Really means: "You're cutting into the time I spend with my truck."
* "I don't need to read the instructions."
Really means: "I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed
help."

 

[The_White]

Yep.

Guys.. they found us out.. were gonna have to find new responces. but "I can't find any"

 

[J'r'd]

uhh... how i do read that? i don't know.
we've been found out? c'mon, they knew from the second the first guy they met opened their mouth that we're nitwits.

 

[aChristiancalledCameron]

We haven't been found out, and as to new excuses "Our generations have spent years coming up with those, there good enough!"

 

[gizmo03]

I have heard some of those before, still pretty funny. But there is a lot that I haven't heard and will have to remember.

 

[equal-minded]

been found out you say? speak for yourself man! we men have been putting on a big charade! we make them think they can think the way they think we think we think we think... i think... "i have my reasons for saying what i said... i think..."

 

[ALASKACHICK10]

so, thats what they really mean.. good ones.. lol...haha guys..just kidding..lol..

 

[Trymybest]

Gee,
You'd think since they know us so well that things would go a lot smoother.

"It was on sale"
really means: "Of course we didn't NEED a 50 Lb. block of lard. I've never used lard in my life. BUT IT WAS ON SALE SILLY, so I had to buy it!"

"Does this dress make me look fat?"
really means: "Of course it makes me look fat. It's tight waisted and I have very large hips and thighs, ANYTHING I wear is going to make me look fat, but I thought I'd put you on the spot."

"Honey, I think the car needs oil."
really means: "Yes, I know the little red light you showed me and explained to me a hundred times has been on for a week, BUT NOW IT'S MAKING A KNOCKING NOISE, and I'm almost sure you said something about knocking being serious, so I thought I'd mention it."

"Hi sweetie! I made your favorite dinner."
really means: "I bought a new dress that I know we couldn't really afford and I probably wont wear but when I saw it in the window I just couldn't resist."

"Oh, by the way, I ran into Carol today."
really means: "I had an accident in the shopping center parking lot today."

"Does that guy, Bob, still work at your office?"
really means: "Sally just broke up with her boyfriend and I think her and Bob would make a great couple. Let's fix 'em up.?"

"I had lunch with Sally today."
really means: "I had a chance to discuss all your faults with some today and she agrees with me that you need a lot of work and that I am a saint for putting up with you."

"Would you go over the check book honey?"
really means: "How can we be out of money? I still have checks left."

"I sent the kids to spend the night at moms."
really means: "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! I'm too tired."

"Take the next left."
really means: "I have no idea where to turn. I can't read maps but you asked me to help so I'll fake it until you find out we're lost."

"What do you think of this lipstick?"
really means: "I really don't care 'cause I've already made up my mind and would never take your advice anyway, but I thought I'd be nice and ask."

"Sorry hon, I burned the roast."
really means: "My mother called, then Sally called, then my sister called, then your sister called, and I lost track of time, but we all agree you need a lot of work and I am a saint for putting up with you."

"I love you."
really means: "I really love you. I thank God for you. In spite of all the ways you aggrivate me, I love you so much. I appreciate all of the little things that make us, US! I love that I have grown to overlook your socks in the floor and that you have grown to overlook my checkbook errors. I love that God has brought us together and helped us to grow so close we know what the other is going to say or do at any given situation. I love that I can laugh at and with you without hurting you. I love you because when you ARE hurt my heart aches for you. I love you because I know that, though we may need a little prodding once in awhile, we are both willing to sacrifice our wants for the others happiness."

Love to all

 

[BluEyes]

Those r pretty good!

 

[malkin]

Guys do the 'but it was on sale' too...

 

[Silent_J]

Very funny, But true!

 

[equal-minded]

so now i know what the ladies think... i think, ha ha! can't put me on with the "does this dress make me look fat" thing! what do you think?