What do you do...

[tallyn75]

when you're starting to fly? I can feel the restlessness creeping up. I feel it like a mist swirling around me, calling out...calling me to fly. I've been here before on the rooftops. 10 thoughts for every word I speak. My very being seeks to be free. Just sitting here typing is an effort. My body revolts at the stillness. But I so do not want to be crawling in the gutters again. I want to be up but I don't want the bottoms that follows. Usually I have no thought for the morrow when I'm at this point, but this time both urges are near equal and very strong. The lofts are so enticing and the lows are repulsive.

I so wish my meds worked to level me out and to space out these extreme and rapid ups and downs. I've been out of the hospital and symptom free for...for 2 and a half weeks. It feels like 6 weeks though. but my calendar reassures (but it's not reassuring) me it's only been 2 weeks and 4 days.

This "good girl" and quite sheltered growing up, sure has grown up a lot over 35 years. But right now, I can't quite hear that angel on my shoulder, and the red guy sure has a sly tongue and sly indeed. I know better but it's so easy to slip and then there's no stopping the slide. The red guy leaves a letter for me to bare during my trek through the dungeons. But at times during my flight, my focus is so obscured I hardly notice.

I seem to notice this time though, or at least at the moment.

I'd better stop here while'st I still can.

 

[jsrdrnr]

I try to distract from it. It is very difficult sometimes, though. I like to watch movies and color when that is starting to happen. I will plop a movie in the player and color while I am watching the movie. That way I am doing two things at once and it helps calm me down a little. I do these abstract color things in my journal a lot of times when I am starting to go up. I make a big rectangle on the paper using the two margins and the first line and last line on the page. Then I fill in the rectangle with a bunch of different lines that are curvy and color it in with my colored pencils. It will keep me focused and calm for hours sometimes. I don't know why but it does. I don't know what you are into, but see what you can find that is calming to you and go with it.