What do you do when your son/daughter falls?

[notanordinarygirl]

I've noticed something my mom does. She's a first time grandma so I don't know if that's normal for grandmothers or if she's always been like that.

Whenever my (now 10 month old) falls over while crawling/sitting down/trying to stand up, she freaks the heck out. Sometimes she even screams or it borders on crying. Then, when my son looks at her, she starts singing and acting happy? It's crazy.

 

[Decaffeinated]

Ignore.

 

[heart of peace]

I couldn't select an option on the poll. I always treated falls in a calm and nearly nonchalant manner while I assessed the severity. I didn't distract him nor laugh it off and I definitely did not freak out.

 

[Lena75]

Depends on the landing from the fall. My kids have had stitches or broken bones from "simple" falls from as young as 2 years old.

 

[Sabertooth]

My choice wasn't available. We took each fall on a case-by-case basis. As to learning how to walk, I don't recall any of those attempts to be particularly threatening to life or limb...

 

[bill5]

Wow those choices are all frankly scary to me. Where is the "it depends on the specifics of the fall" or "I generally make sure he/she is OK but don't coddle them and let them learn to get back up and get over it on their own because I refuse to raise a whiny brat?"

 

[white dove]

My son has gone from crawling to pulling himself up to cruising and now trying to stand more on his own everyday.. so I've REALLY been improving from freaking out to saying "Oops!" and then picking him up or letting him continue to play on about. If it's a more serious spill, I do hold him close and rock him, kiss him and console him.

 

[bill5]

My son has gone from crawling to pulling himself up to cruising and now trying to stand more on his own everyday.. so I've REALLY been improving from freaking out to saying "Oops!" and then picking him up or letting him continue to play on about. If it's a more serious spill, I do hold him close and rock him, kiss him and console him.

So don't coddle him, but reassure him when really needed. Common sense. What a concept!

 

[notanordinarygirl]

My son had a pretty nasty fall yesterday on his little car we got him. I was there with him, but one look the other way and he was on the floor! So now I know what I'm likely to do. I picked him up right away and tried to soothe him, but really it hurt me!

I just don't want my baby to grow up like my cousin (who's scared of everything! she's being raised by my great-aunt and she's scared of almost every child-like thing she does because "she might fall and hurt herself"). My mom is the same way when David falls from his crawling/standing up.

So I was thinking that whenever he falls I should emphasize that he fell while having fun and that falling or hurting yourself while having fun sometimes happens and he should just be more careful next time, and try again. But I don't want to raise a daredevil, so is that a good idea?

 

[bill5]

That is not raising a "daredevil," that is wisely not going the route that your great aunt went, and a tragic number of parents today go, ie over-protecting and coddling and subsequently raising a whiny, fragile, pathetic kid who cries and squeals every time a stiff breeze goes by. Puke. For crying out loud let kids be kids. This means letting them explore and occasionally fall or get a bump or bruise (within reason of course). They are people, not china dolls.

IMO if he isn't really hurt, and I would assume not unless you have compelling reason to believe otherwise, I wouldn't emphasize anything - just glance over and go about your business. It depends on age, circumstances, etc but often when a young child cries, it's more because that is what they are used to using as their "go-to trick" to get attention. They fell, they know it's not right, they cry more or less on instinct, not necessarily because they're really hurt. They might have a minor pain, but again nothing big. Given that, IMO just more or less ignore it/treat it like it's no big deal (like "you're fine, get up"), and he is likely to follow suit. Kids are a lot smarter and a lot tougher than many parents give them credit for.

My .02

 

[javaluver]

I generally try to decide how bad the fall was. If it looks like it hurt a lot I don't say anything until she either cries or she doesn't. If she cries then I comfort her, if not, I don't say anything. If it doesn't look like a bad fall then I say "uh oh" and then direct her attention elsewhere.

 

[lisah]

My daughter was almost a year old before she started trying to walk. My reaction was more dependent upon her reaction. If she needed attention, she got attention. If she didn't need it, I would just let it go with little reaction aside from saying something like "oopsy".

 

[Kimberly09]

I chose try and distract my child from the fall.

Normally, my reaction will depend on the severity of the fall. A lot of the time, a child is waiting for the reaction of their parent, and if the parent is screaming and freaking out that is going to cause the child to do the same thing.

If my daughter stumbles and hurts her knee and I know for a fact she is okay, I will look away pretending not to notice, then I will look at her with a smile and she will begin to point at her boo boo. I give her a smile and say you are such a big girl for not crying! I am so proud of you, then I will offer to kiss the boo boo anyway. I always offer to kiss boo boos, then if I know it is a little more severe, i will ask my daughter "do you think it needs a band-aid?" Sometimes she asks for one and sometimes she does not. Haha! I was one of those children that loved band-aids and had them from head to toe!

Of course, when it is sever, I will pick her up and will hold and cuddle her. Give her the nurturing she needs for her to know that I will always catch her when she falls.

 

[SearchingStudent]

My kids are grown now...but...it went something like this. The first kid, FREAK OUT! The last kid...is he conscious? Is he bleeding? Are limbs bent in a strange manner? No? Ok, on with my day. As they were growing up, my reactions changed.

By the way, the kids range in age from 21 to 29 now. They all survived. A couple of broken bones, quite a few stitches, one or two concussions. My boys were daredevils who liked to jump off the garage roof. They survived relatively unscathed.