What do you consider "flirting"?

[Mrs. Luther073082]

You mean when you're *not* in a crowded area and someone moves into your personal space?

Yes, it's a form of flirting. Men(and women) will do it to see if you reclaim your personal territory or allow them to remain in it.

Really? People like... think about that kind of stuff and purposefully do that? This amuses me.

 

[Blank123]

hm not always. some people are also, as Seinfeld puts it, "close talkers". There's a woman I work with that tends to stand very close to me when we talk, no matter if the room is crowded or empty. but I know she's not hitting on me

There was also an incident at church today that made me think of this thread because of how ambiguous body language can be sometimes.

So like most churches, our has a couple of minutes during the service where people get up and greet one another, shake eachother's hands, etc... and I met one guy today, we shook hands, and he held my hand just a bit longer then everyone else, and looked at me a bit longer than everyone else. Was he flirting or did I perhaps just have a familiar look that he was trying to place (I've been attending that church intermittently for last few months so its very likely we'd met and forgotten)? Sometimes its not so clear cut.

 

[Inkachu]

Uh yeah, I don't zoom into a guy's "personal space" if I think he's cute or whatever. And guys that have been interested in me in the past haven't gotten all up close and in my business, either.

Maybe it's an Aussie thing?

FWIW I can't stand having people all up in my shiz. Back up, people, back up. It's flu season.

 

[Stravinsk]

Really? People like... think about that kind of stuff and purposefully do that? This amuses me.

I bet alot of people don't think about it. But I've done it, and it's been done to me. If she backs away it's like saying "hey - you've invaded my space, not welcome!", if she doesn't she doesn't mind you there. If she smiles she's glad you did.

Uh yeah, I don't zoom into a guy's "personal space" if I think he's cute or whatever. And guys that have been interested in me in the past haven't gotten all up close and in my business, either.

Maybe it's an Aussie thing?

FWIW I can't stand having people all up in my shiz. Back up, people, back up. It's flu season.

I don't think it's an Aussie thing. But in saying that...some Aussie women are indeed bold...especially with a few drinks in them and no man attention for a considerable time.

 

[FaithPrevails]

There seem to be a lot of different opinions on what flirting actually is. Discuss.

The definition I use is pretty much what is stated in the Merriam-Webster's Learner's online dictionary:

1 : to behave in a way that shows a sexual attraction for someone but is not meant to be taken seriously

So, pretty much any behavior that displays an attraction to the other person, whether it's through body language (physical proximity, touching them a lot and lingering there), words - using language with sexual connotations or flattery of the other person's appearance, etc., or other behavior like going out of your way to do something for the person that you wouldn't do for everyone.

 

[MissJenn23]

I think anything can be flirty and i feel its not just what you say its how you look when you say it . I know im a flirty girl , and i have been for years . Part me knows its just my chatty quirky side but another side knows its me being simply flirty . Im not gonna lie i like to get a fellas attention its in our nature . Woman are made to attract , and men are the same way . Flirting Can be very innocent or quite filthy . I know myself its a daily task to stay innocent HAHA!! Its just a place i know i can get to very quickly ....

 

[Cheer5]

Flirting is what you do when you like a person and want to get it together lol

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

Anything has the potential to be flirting depending on the people/person involved and on their body language, facial expressions, and ultimately, motives.

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

Uh yeah, I don't zoom into a guy's "personal space" if I think he's cute or whatever. And guys that have been interested in me in the past haven't gotten all up close and in my business, either.

Maybe it's an Aussie thing?

FWIW I can't stand having people all up in my shiz. Back up, people, back up. It's flu season.

Yeah, I definitely don't consider that flirting. They might be trying to flirt but I would NEVER take it as flirting. It would just annoy me.

Actually, there was a girl in my high school who would always do that to me. I had to explain to her that I had a bubble, and that she was continually invading the bubble and that I'd appreciate it if she didn't. She was trying to flirt with me and it didn't work, at all.

 

[MacFall]

Acting out in a manner that is different from one's true self in order to attract the attentions of an object of one's affection, usually (but not necessarily) without serious intent.

 

[FaithPrevails]

I think anything can be flirty and i feel its not just what you say its how you look when you say it . I know im a flirty girl , and i have been for years . Part me knows its just my chatty quirky side but another side knows its me being simply flirty . Im not gonna lie i like to get a fellas attention its in our nature . Woman are made to attract , and men are the same way . Flirting Can be very innocent or quite filthy . I know myself its a daily task to stay innocent HAHA!! Its just a place i know i can get to very quickly ....

The bolded part - if a person flirts to get this attention even if they are in a relationship or are married, I personally think it's disrespectful to their SO/spouse.

That said, I agree that it's flattering to know that we can turn someone's eye. But, we can turn someone's eye without having to try by flirting with them.

 

[Niels]

When two people blush and bat their eyelashes at each other, of course.

 

[FaithPrevails]

lol

 

[StarryEyes]

Flirting is being overly friendly with someone -eg- treating them differently than you would another friend.

Check out Ruth in the Bible.

Once in awhile I catch myself flirting or doing things/saying things to try and get others' attention. It's frustrating.. self control is very beneficial! I have growing to do..

 

[Phleboto]

Boy, I really don't know any more - it's been soooo long .

But, if you know in your heart you're doing something you shouldn't be doing (in this context), then it probably is flirting.

If it's your intent to make the other person take an interest in you, it's probably flirting.

If you're treating a certain behavior as if it were a trifle, it's probably flirting.

If you're being coy with another sexually, it's probably flirting.

If you're treating certain risky behavior as if it weren't, it's probably flirting...

 

[TanteBelle]

I can't seem to know either when I'm doing it (if ever I do it) or if someone else is flirting with me. I'm a very open person who's bouncy, chatty, and is really blunt. I'm rather psychological/philisophical by nature and so I try to see more in the person as quickly as possible. Okay, for example, I met a group of folks and somehow managed to get into a great deep convo with one bloke in particular. Never met him before. He kept lightly brushing me on the knees and I kept myself huddled in a ball because I didn't want him to! He was smart and pretty quickly got the point! We became mates but when he left town, all my sisters were saying that he 'liked' me. Goh, I hate that term!!! Anyways, I never saw it! I didn't see how he treated me any different than anyone else but they all saw that he singled me out. Did I ask direct questions about big issues? Yes, but that's me! Nothing s*xual or intimate, just deep stuff. Did I 'look intently' at him? Yes, but only when I felt that he wasn't conveying everything in truth and when I keep looking into a persons eyes, I seem to see what's really there. So, at times, I will keep looking intently in someone's eyes trying to read them. But I don't hug, hold hands, I avoid physical touch even in the slightest form even if on accident. I don't think I flirt but apparently I really seem to fail to notice when a bloke's interested in me! :/

 

[emogirl93]

When someone is REAL touchy.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I'll give an example.

I have a disability and sometimes need a motor cart in the grocery store. Right now I'm nursing an injured knee, so this is one of those times. A few days ago when my husband and I were shopping, I was driving around a tall display of produce when I saw the front end of another motor cart driving around around the other side. We stopped in time to avoid a collision, I backed up and let him pass around first, and he wisecracked, "We've got to stop meeting like this." Naturally I laughed.

I encountered that man a few minutes later, and he said something like "Here we are, meeting again." I joked back, "Yes, and right in front of my husband, too!" Mike hadn't been present during the first encounter, and *just in case* that man had any designs, this was a good way to play along while still making it plain that I have a husband. (The gentleman was also married, it turns out.) We went our separate ways, and I explained the dialog to Mike, who otherwise wouldn't have known what in tarnation that man and I were saying to each other.

For the remainder of that shopping session, every time that man and I passed each other, he made some kind of remark that alluded to a couple having a clandestine meeting. Frankly, after a while it started getting creepy. I know he meant no harm. It just felt a little strange. Not threatening, but in the sense that hey, a joke is only funny the first couple of hundred times, and after that it wears thin.

Was he flirting with me? Probably, since he was definitely making jokes that had a sexual undertone, but he was never trying to "pick me up." Was it wrong or immoral? Depends who you ask. My husband wasn't offended. Would that man's wife have been? Don't know.

 

[SkyArk17]

When someone communicates highly (generally) suggestive signals symbolizing sexual interest to the ones receiving the message. Mind you, this doesn't always directly mean wanting sex, only that they want courtship behavior between the target. This could lead to any number of things, including dates, sex, romance, and possibly even marriage....

 

[SweetDee]

sharing pudding cups