Cubinity:
No problem my friend

I'm glad these things are being sorted out in your mind! I know it took me a while.
One thing I wanted to add though, is that the doctrine of sin is super important for Calvinism. While the doctrine of Predestination has a little to do about the profoundness of eternal things and God's decree, it has a lot to do with man's enslavement to sin.
That is, if given the choice and set before a path, with two choices (go left and choose God, or go right and reject God), the Calvinist believes that the Biblical description of man is that he will always consistently choose the path that rejects God. This is because he is hostile to Christ, cannot understand spiritual things on account of being spiritually deaf/blind/dead, and is rebelling against God, hates God, and loves his own sin and loves to fulfill his own pleasures (Eph 2)
So you see, for the Calvinist, predestinating/electing grace is
mandatory if anyone at all is to be saved. Without predestination, heaven would be empty.
So when non-Calvinists are trying to argue for "man's free choice" being the ultimate deciding factor, when they try to argue that man is set before two equal choices and simply needs to exercise his will and make the right choice, what he's really arguing for, in the Calvinist's mind, is a ticket straight to hell. There's no such thing as a free choice between God and sin/self/rebellion. Man is enslaved to sin, not free from it. He is spiritually dead and needs spiritual life before he can do anything spiritually good or anything that leads to salvation.
Long story short, when non-calvinists are trying to "talk us out of" predestination/election, they really have two major tasks ahead of them, not just one. They must convince us not only that we are misunderstanding certain predestination verses, but secondly, they must convince us that we are misunderstanding the bible's description of fallen man and his helpless state. They must convince us that the Bible teaches that fallen man is
free from sin and is capable of choosing evil as
equally as he is of choosing good.
They must convince us that the Bible allows for the idea that fallen, unregenerate man can suddenly convert himself or prepare himself for conversion, or give himself eyes that can see and ears that can hear. Or that he is able to simply will himself out of his enslavement to sin and hostility to Christ and suddenly embrace the God he hates so much and forsake the sin he loves so much. All by an act of the will (which supposedly, isn't fallen, and isn't biased one way or another, according to the concept of "Free will")
Pay attention and you will see that anytime a non-calvinist comes to the forums with a few key verses to copy/paste (John 3:16, 2 Pet 3:9, etc), they never create a biblical argument for the doctrine of sin and man's depravity. It is conveniently left out of the picture as if choosing Jesus, for the fallen man, was as easy as choosing vanilla over chocolate icecream.