What do men want?

[dayhiker]

David ... I have had that thought .... will see if the oppertunity comes up.

 

[scraparcs]

Intelligent women are a good thing? I've been told so many times to play a bit dumb so I don't scare off men.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Intelligent women are a good thing? I've been told so many times to play a bit dumb so I don't scare off men.

It depends on the type of man you want. Guys who are insecure and/or control freaks will be intimidated by a smart, independent woman. And I don't mean independent in the radical, bitter "who needs a man?" sense. If you play it dumb you will likely attract guys you will ultimately find boring and frustrating.

 

[DiceRider]

Intelligent women are a good thing? I've been told so many times to play a bit dumb so I don't scare off men.

LOL is all.. *bites tongue

 

[dayhiker]

I love intelligent women as most of the relationships are with very intelligent women. A intelligent conversation is very good foreplay.

 

[DiceRider]

I love intelligent women as most of the relationships are with very intelligent women. A intelligent conversation is very good foreplay.

I'm sure in most cases that's the only foreplay women get

 

[dayhiker]

... not the only!

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

ignore all the answers you got so far

what men want is a hot trashy blonde, it is within their DNA.

 

[Neogaia777]

"Men", first off (do yourselves some credit) and admit that, "deep down" you want and expect "more" out of a relationship than just "sex", well, doesn't it stand to reason then that (women) "want" and "expect" the same thing, (there looking for "more" out of/from a "man" than just sex. Now, don't get me wrong "sex" is good, but deep down it is not the the "only" thing either of us is truly "looking" for, if we "respect" ourselves, we come to realize that we want and "expect" more out of each other than just this (sex), and I would advise (both parties) to "do themslelves some (more) credit" and have more respect for yourselves and just freely "admit" these things to each other, and (I would advise) that both for yourselves and them that your "first thoughts" about each other be focused on these things (figuring these things out) then (and only then) are you even ever going to truly be "happy" with your mate, and if your seeking one out, "find" a good one...

A "good one" is one who has taken some time, and let their "first thoughts" (about each other) be "occupied" by these things, (what you can really, truly, "offer" each other/one another), what you can really "be" to one another, and as I said it shows "respect" for yourself and does you "credit" and as I said "deep down, is a reflection of admitting your real true feelings and expectations anyway.

Spend time, and be selective, respecting not only yourselves, but each other. "Sex" can come later, take the time to really get to know yourselves, and each other first, and what you "really" "want" and "expect" form one another, as well as what you yourselves, truly have to "offer" one another, These principles are the foundations for meaningful, truly satisfying, "real" relationships, and as I said should be and "occupy" your "first thoughts" toward one another. We all have "wants" and "needs" and "expectations" that go beyond that of sex, it's time we were truly "honest" with each other and just came out with it, and learn the "real" keys and principles to building truly lasting, meaningful relationships...

Well, that's just my "opinion" anyway, and what I have come to "know", I guess you people can "decide" for yourselves though..

 

[ronsonfong]

1. love God
2. pleasant looking
3. compassionate and care for others
4. faithful

 

[blackribbon]

I think I understand why some wonderful women will end up single forever. The packaging just isn't good enough.

 

[scraparcs]

It depends on the type of man you want. Guys who are insecure and/or control freaks will be intimidated by a smart, independent woman. And I don't mean independent in the radical, bitter "who needs a man?" sense. If you play it dumb you will likely attract guys you will ultimately find boring and frustrating.

Hence why I've never played dumb a day in my life and never will. I'd rather be occasionally bored learning too much about some field of knowledge that doesn't interest me than be often frustrated because I'm with a man that doesn't have the smarts for intelligent conversation.

I love intelligent women as most of the relationships are with very intelligent women. A intelligent conversation is very good foreplay.

I think I understand why some wonderful women will end up single forever. The packaging just isn't good enough.

Maybe not forever.

 

[blackribbon]

Maybe not forever.

A woman's packaging does not get better with age....so forever in this world sounds very plausible if many of the above statements about what men want are true.

 

[iambren]

Blackribbon,you make a good point and I think it is well to consider. So I went back to my list to wonder what could be changed. You challenged me.

To expect smooth velvety skin with NO blemishes is unreasonable. A woman can keep herself up physically AND NOT go to the suntanning salon every day. Women who do that IMHO are foolish;it's hard to fall in love with a lizard. And I know gravity takes it's toll too.

The things I list are the ideal to reach for;her inner joy probably turns me on the most and the physical fades to insignificance.

 

[scraparcs]

A woman's packaging does not get better with age....so forever in this world sounds very plausible if many of the above statements about what men want are true.

Yes and no. Men have to be reasonable and realize if they're fat, bald, and gray that they're not going to attract a 21-year-old Swedish bikini model.

 

[TravelerFarAwayFromHome]

Yes and no. Men have to be reasonable and realize if they're fat, bald, and gray that they're not going to attract a 21-year-old Swedish bikini model.

unless you are a billionaire or an aging rock star.

 

[blackribbon]

I lost a lot of the features you men seem to desire while spending my life caring for others. I ate out of vending machines while my husband was in the hospital. I haven't had time or money for gym memberships in a many years because that money and time is spent signing my kids up for activities and sitting in bleachers watching them and cheering them on. I don't have money or desire to spend shopping for perfect clothes or getting makeovers because I realize what a shallow use of the precious time I have on this planet. I am clean. I try to dress attractively as possible...but really, much more than t-shirts & jeans is sort of overdressing when the activities of the day are spending 2 hours at the ice area and then 3 hours at a baseball game followed by laundry and cleaning the tub. I do wear a bit of makeup...but once I walk away from the mirror in the morning, I probably forget to look again until the next morning when I try again.

I am clean and have been told I smell clean. I try to keep my hair in an attractive style but it cost too much to go to get a hair styling very often and besides, I have hair requirements for working in the hospital so that also is a limiting factor. I have started to go really gray with this last rotation in school, so I do occassionally try to bring back the color God gave me in my youth.

My waist line no longer looks like it did when I was a teenager. I have stretch marks that bear testament to carrying two children. My skin is no longer smooth and taut...it is starting to dry and show a few wrinkles. And as much as I would like to lose some weight, it might have to wait until my life isn't so stressful. I sadly admit to needing my pepsi to help me relax when life is just non-stop chaos. The rest of my diet isn't that bad but I don't have the time or money to investigate if my cortisol or thyroid levels are off...and I definitely don't have the energy to even do a single situp after spending 8 hours straight on my feet running around a hospital floor. (Why don't the miles I walk in the hospital count as "exercise" ?)

My skin shows wrinkles from laughing, crying, smiling, and spending time in God's sunshine. My hair isn't always perfect because I have lost the vanity of my youth. My bones are covered with padding because sometimes food is to be enjoyed ... and sometimes it offers comfort ... and sometimes, life is too busy to actually sit down and eat a carefully cooked home-cooked meal.

Men...do you really want a pretty doll...or are you willing to maybe look a little deeper and find a real woman who has experienced life even if she shows a little wear on the tires?

I am starting to feel like maybe hoping to ever find someone who actually sees me for all that I am may just be a fantasy. Maybe the wear marks on my body are just that, proof that I am worn out and not really trophies of a life really lived.

 

[blackribbon]

Yes and no. Men have to be reasonable and realize if they're fat, bald, and gray that they're not going to attract a 21-year-old Swedish bikini model.

I have a male friend whose waist is definitely larger than his chest, his forehead grows taller every year, and he limps because he is in need of two total knee replacements. However, he admitted that when he stands in front of the mirror, he still sees a 17 year old soccer star and can do anything.

This must be a relatively common self-perception based on the number of pudgy middle aged men who actually choose "athletic" as their body types in online dating profiles.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

A woman's packaging does not get better with age....so forever in this world sounds very plausible if many of the above statements about what men want are true.

Is there anything here unreasonable:
That she be of good character.

That she be about as smart as I am or smarter - a good mix of book smarts and common sense (I am certainly not the smartest person I know - some things come easy to me but some things are hard). We should have some common interests but not everything.

That she have a lifestyle as active or a little more active than mine. She could take a 5 or 10 mile walk with me on some trails and enjoy it. Too much weight where someone's health is declining is not attractive, neither is anorexic skin and bones attractive - both extremes are unhealthy.

We have enough in common culturally - if we are from different cultures, we at least understand and mostly like each other's culture.

That we have similar beliefs spiritually.

That we have similar ideas about sex, money, and other issues that can cause conflict.

Then there is the issue of personality and how there is chemistry - or not.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

I have a male friend whose waist is definitely larger than his chest, his forehead grows taller every year, and he limps because he is in need of two total knee replacements. However, he admitted that when he stands in front of the mirror, he still sees a 17 year old soccer star and can do anything.

This must be a relatively common self-perception based on the number of pudgy middle aged men who actually choose "athletic" as their body types in online dating profiles.

To me you are athletic if you can run a mile - and you are doing a lot better than I can. To someone else you are athletic if you can walk around the block and not be out of breath.