What do I do?

[Anthrax]

Hi there.

I'm 23 years old, and for my whole life, I've been struggling with gay tendencies. People have told me for years and years that there's nothing wrong with me, and that, in fact, me being gay has nothing to do with my sins, and instead has to do with my genes. Essentially, what they're saying is that I was born this way, and that I can't help my being gay.

Recently, I had sex with a man who is a few years older than I. We met anonymously on the internet, and it was my first actual, real time with a guy. I liked it, but after it was over, I couldn't help but feel weird about it. I feel like I've done something wrong. Does this make sense? I don't know. I'm confused.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

The way to blessing is by following Gods commands,i.e. it would be good if you had said

Job 23:11 My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside.

However not all of us as a Holy or righteous as the man who that verse was refering to. We have all sinned, we have all once been something less than perfect.

God still loves you, but you have done the wrong thing, and God was letting you know that by the feeling you had of it being weird.

 

[drich0150]

Do you want to be Not gay? or are you looking for a way to be gay and not feel weird?

What is it that you are looking for?

 

[Adoniram]

Anthrax, you feel weird because you have a conscience. A God-given inner voice that speaks to you when you've done something wrong, or are about to. Paul mentioned it in talking about God's Law, which informs us about what God deems to be sinful. Speaking about Gentiles (anyone who is not a Jew), who did not generally know much about God and Godly things, Paul said many of them have a natural instinct to do what is right by God's Law, even though they have never heard or been given the law. They were guided by their consciences.

Rom. 2
14 for when Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do the things in the law, these, although not having the law, are a law to themselves, 15 who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them)

The conscience is the soul's warning system, which allows human beings to contemplate their motives and actions and make moral evaluations of what is right and wrong. In order for the conscience to work to it's fullest capacity, the way God intended it to, it must be under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. When you are "right" with God, your conscience tends to accuse you of the sinful things you do. When you are not "right" with God, your conscience tends to make excuses for the sinful things you do.

Do you understand what the following verses mean?

James 1
14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

It means that we are all tempted by various things, most of us have a few things in particular continually cropping up. And it's really tough in some cases. Satan is really persistent and makes some things seem pretty desirable, and good. When we yield to these desires, it is sin. Now, God has declared in his law that the act of homosexuality is a sin. But the above verse makes a distinction between having the desire and yielding to the desire. The gay tendencies that you feel are not sin in and of themselves. But they become so when you yield to the desires. Now, not all desires are sinful when yielded to, but that is where your conscience comes into play...letting you know the difference. If your conscience "pricks" you, makes you feel weird, then you should be wary of what you are considering.

The thing to remember is that God is a forgiving and merciful God. It is his desire that we turn from our own sinful desires and place our faith in Jesus Christ. When we do so earnestly, he will forgive us and lovingly give us strength to overcome those sinful desires and live in a manner that is pleasing to him.

1 Cor. 10

13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

Jesus was tempted, maybe not with homosexuality but in things that were every bit as enticing to him as these gay tendencies are to you, yet he overcame those desires, instead wishing to do God's will in his life. And faith in him can give you that same kind of strength. It's not too late for you.

I commend you for taking a step toward God by coming to this board for advice. It is my prayer that you take the next step.

 

[aiki]

I'm 23 years old, and for my whole life, I've been struggling with gay tendencies. People have told me for years and years that there's nothing wrong with me, and that, in fact, me being gay has nothing to do with my sins, and instead has to do with my genes. Essentially, what they're saying is that I was born this way, and that I can't help my being gay.

As long ago now as the mid-nineteen eighties geneticists knew that homosexuality could not be genetic in origin. Ruth Hubbard, an associate professor of biology at Harvard, in her book "Exploding the Gene Myth" wrote in particular about this matter. She explained in detail why there is no clear, biological imperative for homosexuality. It is the popular, PC thing these days to believe that homosexuality is not a choice, but this belief is completely false.

Recently, I had sex with a man who is a few years older than I. We met anonymously on the internet, and it was my first actual, real time with a guy. I liked it, but after it was over, I couldn't help but feel weird about it. I feel like I've done something wrong. Does this make sense? I don't know. I'm confused.

You feel like you've done something wrong because you have. God's Word flatly condemns homosexuality as an "abomination." The Bible tells us that "there is pleasure in sin for a season." But the Bible also promises that "the wages of sin is death." If you persist in sin, God promises you that you will be "broken without remedy." Fortunately, God also understands that "we are dust," that we sin, and need to be cleansed of that sin. He has made a way to escape the power and penalty of sin. That "way" is His Son, Jesus Christ, who can free you from the homosexual inclination you have recently indulged.

"See, I have set before you this day life and good, and death and evil; in that I command you this day to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commandments and His statutes that you may live...But if your heart turn away, so that you will not hear...you shall surely perish...I call heaven and earth to record this day against you that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both you and your seed may live..." (Josh. 30:15-19)

Peace to you.

 

[FedererFan]

Wow. Everyone here is so concerned about your homosexual urges leading to sin and not the fact that you met a random man off the internet to have sex?

I have nothing to say about your homosexuality. If you are having issues about it that are effecting you mentally, see a psychologist.

But please, don't meet anonymous men on the net to have sex. It's dangerous. Not only do you not know what diseases they might have, but they might be violent (see Craigslist Killer). Be safe.

 

[aiki]

If you want to be safe eternally, you'll do as God has commanded. Not surprisingly, when you do obey God you won't have people warning you against meeting strangers on the net for sex.

Peace to you.

 

[GaryP]

As Creation I can not judge you. Go to the Cross, Blood and All. and Just grab on to
Jesus. and do not let go. XY can not mate with XY. If you have live sperm, it is geared for the XX.
This is between you and Him.
Jesus, Said it is Finished, So your Homosexual desires are finished.
You are bought and Paid for. Go to Him.
Off the Record, Go to Revelations and ask the 144,000 who have not been defiled
by women, if they have been defiled by men. I was surprised by their silence.
The Demons were not too happy.

 

[[serious]]

Hi there.

I'm 23 years old, and for my whole life, I've been struggling with gay tendencies. People have told me for years and years that there's nothing wrong with me, and that, in fact, me being gay has nothing to do with my sins, and instead has to do with my genes. Essentially, what they're saying is that I was born this way, and that I can't help my being gay.

Recently, I had sex with a man who is a few years older than I. We met anonymously on the internet, and it was my first actual, real time with a guy. I liked it, but after it was over, I couldn't help but feel weird about it. I feel like I've done something wrong. Does this make sense? I don't know. I'm confused.

Well, anonymous hookups over the internet are pretty much the definition of risky behaviour. As far as the homosexuality side of things, you will likely always have homosexual urges, whether genetic or early development based, it really isn't a choice. However, people make choices not to act on sexual urges all the time. If you are bisexual you shouldn't find it all that much harder to stay faithful to a girlfriend than a heterosexual man would. If you are only attracted to men you should be aware that what amounts to a life of chastity is no small task.

If you are instead looking to not feel weird about it, well, a start would be not having anonymous hookups with anyone. I'd probably hold of on getting physical with anyone until you've got the emotional and psychological aspects of your attractions sorted out.


You aren't likely to find a whole lot of acceptance of homosexuality here so be prepared for that.

 

[mud1dnot2]

Hi there.

I'm 23 years old, and for my whole life, I've been struggling with gay tendencies. People have told me for years and years that there's nothing wrong with me, and that, in fact, me being gay has nothing to do with my sins, and instead has to do with my genes. Essentially, what they're saying is that I was born this way, and that I can't help my being gay.

Recently, I had sex with a man who is a few years older than I. We met anonymously on the internet, and it was my first actual, real time with a guy. I liked it, but after it was over, I couldn't help but feel weird about it. I feel like I've done something wrong. Does this make sense? I don't know. I'm confused.

As far as I know, Jesus hasn't taken a stance on homosexual tendencies. At least it hasn't been written in the bible anyways. The angry god of the Old Testament took a harsher stance on the issue.

Above everything else you're human and if that doesn't help then remember a quote from a great source:
"My name is Butters, I’m 8 years old, I’m blood type O, and I’m bicurious. And even that’s okay because if I’m bicurious and I’m somehow made from God then I figure God must be a little bicurious himself.”

 

[Hoankan]

Mod Hat

A reminder to everyone to please read the purpose of this forum and to follow it.
​

 

[salida]

I don't know who keeps telling you that you were born that way- but there is no gay gene. I had an interview a few years ago with the university who has the human genome project - and they said there was no gay gene. When they do the research many times - its because one lacked a father influence in their lifes. Also, there are people walking around with gay tendencies. All of us are walking around with certain weaknesses - but the question is what are we going to do about it? Being gay has nothing to do with your sins? Who decides what a sin is? Christ does. Are you hearing this from christians or nonchristians? Lets ask ourselves what does the bible have to say about it? Romans 1:27. This is what we all should do when we have tendencies that are sinful. If a nonchristian ask yourself? Are you a good person? http://www.livingwaters.com/good/ Can you keep all the 10 Commandments 100% of the time all the time? Only Jesus did. This is why mankind needs a Lord and Savior. To a christian individual: Ask the Holy Spirit to deliver you from these desires and go to Exodus International for help. They specialize in those who have gay tendencies.

 

[Stile]

I liked it, but after it was over, I couldn't help but feel weird about it. I feel like I've done something wrong. Does this make sense? I don't know. I'm confused.

Just be as honest as you can with yourself. What did you feel weird about? There are many possible things you may or may not feel weird about that I can see from the situation you've presented:

-gay sex with another man
-meeting someone (anyone) anonymously over the internet for the purposes of sex
-doing something (anything) which you think may upset other people you know and may respect
-something else entirely

You are in a difficult position. Performing gay acts in a society where it can be seen as undesirable from the majority of the population is tough in and of itself. Your confusion could be casued by any or all of the specific items I've listed. The important thing to remember is to be honest with yourself. An honest search for answers is an honourable and respectable thing.

Perhaps you are unable to control your internal desires for wanting to have sex with another man. The reason for this (if true) is irrelevent. If you honestly cannot control such tendencies, then you are faced with having to accept them. Once you can do that (if required at all), you can then decide on what to do from there.

Perhaps your desires aren't worth the social reprecussions you'll receive. Such a thing wouldn't mean you should ignore your desires, just acknowledge them and then move on to what's more important for you.
Perhaps your desires are extremely undeniable. That's something you'll have to honestly decide on your own. No one can tell you how you feel, but being honest about such things is important to being comfortable with yourself.

Whatever you decide upon, please reconsider meeting anonymous people on the internet for sex. There are dangerous diseases and people out there, many just waiting for easy prey found anonymously through the internet. You and your life are very important, it's not worth it to risk such valuable things.