What did your dad teach you?

[carp614]

Seeking - I'm sorry your father let you down.

My father let me down for a time and then worked hard to make it right. For a time, he did not give us his best, then for a time he did. I love my Dad and I am grateful to him for working so hard to try to make it better. I am the man I am today because of his effort to turn things around. I forgive him for his flaws, because unforgiveness would only hurt me.

I have made it my mission in this world to do everything I can to be a World Class Dad for my two daughters. I fail often, but I will not stop trying. I consider fatherhood to be my most important job.

Take heart. You can look at the story of Joshua in Exodus. What has been done in evil intent, God can use it for good.

 

[Wolseley]

I had a very, very good relationship with my Dad. He was far from perfect, but nobody is. He was a World War II veteran who was left with a lifelong hatred of the Japanese and made no bones about it....a good portion of him never quite made it all the way back from the Pacific. He was exquisitely profane, had little use for organized religion although he was a deep believer in God, and was fond of political debate.

He was a reformed alcoholic, who quit drinking when I was very young; I remember him keeping a whiskey bottle under the front seat of the car when I was about three, maybe four years old, but he went cold turkey shortly after that and never touched the stuff again. He was faithful to my mother for 51 years and never cheated once. My sisters and I never lacked for clothes to wear or food to eat or a roof over our heads.

Dad could be strict, but he was never abusive. He didn't tolerate fools well, and clashed with the administration of my school on a fairly regular basis. As I grew older, I grew more attached to my Dad; we enjoyed the same movies, the same TV shows, even the same music. I was always looking for cool stuff to share with him. He was tremendously supportive of me when I came home from the service with a lot of trauma, anger, and isolation issues. All in all, he was one of the finest men I've ever known or had in my life, and I miss him every day. When he died, I went into a state of shock for a month afterwards. I hope to be reunited with him some day.

 

[Mea_kākau]

My father was a pedophile, assassin, and a serial killer. What he taught me I couldn't write here. I'd have to sensor every word. He committed criminal acts on me and others and I witnessed them.

As a child my stepdad called me his son. I was a girl. My father also treated me as if I was a boy. I grew up confused about my sexuality. It took me years to straighten myself out with much talking to God, going to therapy, and writing about it.

A therapist taught me to find healthier memories of father figures in my life. I have fond memories of my fifth grade teacher who knew something was wrong and helped me to feel better about myself.

 

[ChicanaRose]

What was a good dad like growing up? (If you had one)

My dad taught me the value of tolerance and philanthropy.

 

[Messerve]

My dad literally taught me, as he was my math teacher.

Aside from school... I learned to leave your home a little messy when your wife is gone for a week so she feels needed, that a man's stature actually has very little to do with his height, and how to imitate bird calls and get birds to land near you.

 

[Lovesonsofthundet]

Grew up with an abusive dad and saw him with my brother yesterday.

 

[FlorinFrau]

"What did your dad teach you?"

How to fear and distrust men and mankind at large. Still struggling with this.

 

[ServantJohn]

Mine was an abusive jerk.

What was a good dad like growing up? (If you had one)

My dad was great and taught me how to cook and advised me saying a man should know how to cook. My mother was the abusive one.

 

[i love you]

i don't really know much about my dad, but he taught me that life is short and he will die one day. he says that he always has my back

 

[BlackNBlueXtian]

Both my mom and dad sucked. The way I could tell them apart is my dad hit harder than my mom. Family is just another F word. I learned to hate and distrust all of humanity. This includes women and Christian women especially, for they are a bunch of man hating feminist nuns who live to only harm men. I am most of all angry at God because his word speaks of love yet he withholds it from me!

 

[markbrewer]

my father was/is a good man, much respected by everyone who knows him. if he ever drank, it was very little. did not cheat, didn't gamble. and we went to church most of the time. my dad is what you might call a "man's man": unbelievably tough and strong. he worked a public job all week and farmed on the weekends. i loved my dad, but i didn't love that farm and i got away from it as soon as i could. i grew up hunting and fishing and driving tractors and trucks and riding horses. i missed the horses.

the thing about my family was the anger between my parents. they got into some of the most horrendous fights you could ever imagine. but they stayed together.

 

[actionsub]

My dad taught me much, much more by action than I realized. He tried hard to teach me by words, but it was tough for a guy that grew up doing hard manual labor all his life to communicate with a weird, bookish, wimpy little guy.

I don't know that he intentionally taught me much by example (the main word being intentionally), but he taught me a lot by just sheer exposure about being a man of my word and just how to be a stand-up guy.

 

[Rescued One]

Both of my parents wanted me to reject Christ.

 

[keith99]

To put this in context I'm 71 years old.

My dad taught me how to work on a car. Now useless as one needs to spend thousands of dollars on specialized tools to do more than change the oil.

One thing my parents taught me without me realizing until decades later was that trust and freedom build by being respected. The house we lived in until I was entering the 6th grade was about 4 from the corner in one direction and about the same to where the street curved in the other. Well before the 6th grade my freedom grew. At some point it was OK to be in the front yard (which the kitchen window had an excellent view of). After a while when I had not wandered beyond that limit, the limit was changed to include being in front of the houses on each side. Then to the corner and about the middle of the curve in the other direction. Eventually the entire block and by the time I was in the 5th grade pretty much as far as I could walk or bike and get home by dark. Each step depending on having shown respect for the previous one.

My dad was a machinist's mate in New Guinea in WW II and the important thing he learned there was officers got the good part of everything. He also figured out that a college degree was pretty much the civilian version of the dividing line between officers and enlisted. He never taught it or lectured as best I can remember, but we all absorbed the idea that education is important.

Dad established college funds for all of us and for our kids, if any. I am the only one without kids. I have established college funds for all my grand nieces and nephews.

Dad was always supportive. If I were to identify a significant flaw it would be that support can sometimes be smothering.

Both my parents had always taught us to speak up for ourselves and what we thought was right. With the Vietnam war he by his actions taught me that adults do sometimes actually listen to teenagers. I was strongly opposed to that war and I actually pretty much converted him to my way of thinking about it.

Above I listed my age to give context. One place where that matters regards cigarettes. Dad smoked. When I was about 12, I tried them, and he found out. As best I can remember I was not punished. But not long after that he quit cold turkey. (Decades later a co worker quit when his son was getting to the age where boys imitate dad in regards to smoking and drinking). In this dad indirectly taught me that good parents can accomplish things for their kids (quitting smoking) that were too much to accomplish for themself.

If dad were Christian, one might call him a saint. He was an atheist, as am I.

Near the end dad even took measures to avoid a possible repeat of abuse. His father was a good man, during the depression his father went without dinner so my father and his brother did not. But after retirement his father lost his leg to a condition that I think is now treatable. After that he became bitter and abusive to my grandmother. (I found out about this only decades after the fact). Dad feared the same might happen with him and told me to not permit it, even if I had to figuratively take his head off to do so.

One thing the above has resulted in is who is named on my advanced directive regarding medical care. I know every one of my nieces and nephews and all of their spouses would respect my wishes and know me well enough to know what those are. The ones listed (3 in an ordered list) are the ones who will not be hurt by having to say pull the plug.

I'm very glad dad was not like others here because by the time I was 16 he was not even close to being a physical match for me and the person I was at 16 would have broken anyone who hurt my siblings (I was the oldest).

 

[Petros2015]

Dad wasn't perfect, I blamed him earlier in life, understood him later in life. Outdid him in all the wrong ways. He loved me and was good to me. There are many ways I could be more like him and be a better man for it.

May God remember the best of us and forget the worst. There was a lot worth remembering.

It is our Father's funeral
He had his highs and lows
Flew on planes and dove on subs
Reached down to tweak our nose
Fixed drips on ships with paperclips
And cars by sense of smell
Had a slice of American Pie
And rang the Tubular Bells

The bamboo didn't quite work out
An evergreen he stayed
Grew into a shelter strong
With branches where we played

Now he's gone
We're left with love
Advice and works undone
Memories of how good it was
To be our Father's sons

 

[GodDoesListen55]

Honestly, the best thing my dad has probably ever taught me is to be tough no matter what. Life can be difficult, but what does not kill you makes you stronger.