Here's my perspective as a husband.
I think respect, for me, is more important than submission, but they go hand in hand.
If you are going to make a reasonably large purchase, you could ask him. My wife wanted to buy some sheets, and she called and asked if it were okay. Part of that is I knew better what was in the bank than she did.
If you disagree about finances, if he is a typical decent guy in our culture, he'll listen to you. But if he disagrees after you share your thoughts, let him makes a decision. If he doesn't want to hear you, let him make the decision. Usually, unless a man is a control freak or something, he will listen to his wife, the exception being if there has been a lot of bickering.
Respect is really important. Things like not raising your voice, putting him down when you are alone or especially to others, ignoring him, cutting him off. That may not even be a challenge when you are in the Honeymoon stage, and you keep calling each other pet names and looking into each others eyes. But some time in the future when you haven't slept because the third baby kept you up all night and the other kids have wanted your attention all day, and you are hungry, and you and your husband discuss finances, the temptation not to be respectful and kind, on both sides, can be greater.
My wife is the modest type. But if she wears an outfit that is maybe a little low cut (just below the collar bone) she might ask me about it. If I think it's inappropriate, I'll suggest something. She's done this for me to kind of joke around when she was going to wear one of those attachment thingies to cover the breast area. (Which my mother invented at home sewing right before another brand came out on the market, so she didn't get a chance to make any money off of them. She had a great name for them. It would have made a great DRTV product, IMO.)
If your husband does tell you to do something, the Bible gives this as an example of submission in I Peter 3, "as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord." I don't go around telling my wife do this or that. But if I did, I'd want her to take it serious. As children, we are supposed to take our parents directions quite seriously. We should do the same with our bosses as hired servants of whatever company we work at. Wives should also do the same with their husbands.
There are other things you can do that are submissive that aren't directly obedience. If he says, "Make me a sandwich" and you make one, that's obedience. I just found out that that's some kind of saying high school guys say to their girlfriends nowadays to tease them. But if he comes home and you suggest he take a seat and you offer him a glass of lemonade you just made for him as a surprise and you cooked him his favorite meal, that's serving him. It's also a submissive thing to do, though you aren't obeying something he said, directly. And that sort of thing is fair, too, if he is out working and you are stay-at-home. If you are both working long hours, it may have to be take-out or hot food from a grocery store or something out of the microwave at times.
I think respect, for me, is more important than submission, but they go hand in hand.
If you are going to make a reasonably large purchase, you could ask him. My wife wanted to buy some sheets, and she called and asked if it were okay. Part of that is I knew better what was in the bank than she did.
If you disagree about finances, if he is a typical decent guy in our culture, he'll listen to you. But if he disagrees after you share your thoughts, let him makes a decision. If he doesn't want to hear you, let him make the decision. Usually, unless a man is a control freak or something, he will listen to his wife, the exception being if there has been a lot of bickering.
Respect is really important. Things like not raising your voice, putting him down when you are alone or especially to others, ignoring him, cutting him off. That may not even be a challenge when you are in the Honeymoon stage, and you keep calling each other pet names and looking into each others eyes. But some time in the future when you haven't slept because the third baby kept you up all night and the other kids have wanted your attention all day, and you are hungry, and you and your husband discuss finances, the temptation not to be respectful and kind, on both sides, can be greater.
My wife is the modest type. But if she wears an outfit that is maybe a little low cut (just below the collar bone) she might ask me about it. If I think it's inappropriate, I'll suggest something. She's done this for me to kind of joke around when she was going to wear one of those attachment thingies to cover the breast area. (Which my mother invented at home sewing right before another brand came out on the market, so she didn't get a chance to make any money off of them. She had a great name for them. It would have made a great DRTV product, IMO.)
If your husband does tell you to do something, the Bible gives this as an example of submission in I Peter 3, "as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord." I don't go around telling my wife do this or that. But if I did, I'd want her to take it serious. As children, we are supposed to take our parents directions quite seriously. We should do the same with our bosses as hired servants of whatever company we work at. Wives should also do the same with their husbands.
There are other things you can do that are submissive that aren't directly obedience. If he says, "Make me a sandwich" and you make one, that's obedience. I just found out that that's some kind of saying high school guys say to their girlfriends nowadays to tease them. But if he comes home and you suggest he take a seat and you offer him a glass of lemonade you just made for him as a surprise and you cooked him his favorite meal, that's serving him. It's also a submissive thing to do, though you aren't obeying something he said, directly. And that sort of thing is fair, too, if he is out working and you are stay-at-home. If you are both working long hours, it may have to be take-out or hot food from a grocery store or something out of the microwave at times.
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It could be that the OP wasn't married yet when she started the thread. I didn't see the start date until just now. Anyway, we'll see what wiser staff than I am have to say about it.
