What can I do?

[wiggsfly]

I originally posted this in a longer thread about the manifestations of OCD. I thought I would make it its own thread and see if any of you all have any advicec for my problem.

Although I've never been officially diagnosed I do have a number of ticks and have had a few doctors suggest I should seek help about it.

For me I put all my stress and worry onto something I can't control. For years it was diseases. Every time I got a cough I thought I would be dying of cancer and then I would spend all my time reading and looking online about the topic. About two years the disease fear stopped and then I learned about peak oil theory which has become an obsession. I HAVE to look at the news every few minutes to make sure that "it" hasn't happened. If I'm at home or somewhere else with internet I will be in there constantly looking up business news. If it's a good day and they news is positive I'm alright, but if it is a bad day, where there is a negative piece of fnews I could be in some trouble and will literally make myself sick with worry.

The hard part is that because of my career I can't really get a diagnosis and I can't take medication as it would cause me to lose my FAA medical. Consequently I am probably one of the most knowledgable people around on cancer, AIDS, and lately peak oil theory. Heck, on good days I've even written hopeful essays on all the subjects, but on bad days, yikes. I feel bad for anyone around me.

The scariest thing is that, although I haven't admitted this anywhere else before, it has affected my life in some rather serious ways. For instance, I am in the midst of a career change brought about in part because of my obsession with both disease and the whole peak oil think. I was a pilot, but I'm so scared of flosing my medical to disease or my job due to peak oil that I've left flying full time. The truth is there are other reasons, namely I've wanted to go back to school a long time to teach, but my fear has been a considerable catalyst for change. Beyond that, it also affects my daily life in just the way and reason I do things. Little things, like I have to keep lights off to avoid wasting electricity, or I will literally run away from a smoker to avoid lung cancer. It's all pretty crazy.

My question is what should I do? I don't have health insurance right now so I'm stuck with home remedies for at least a little while. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks.

 

[seajoy]

Is your fear of losing medical benefits, or your job real, or could that be one of your obsessions? I've never heard of anyone being fired for a diagnosis of ocd. You could loose your job from poor performance or lack of attendance from your ocd, I suppose.

Do you have a type of job that bans any form of mental illness? How do you loose medical benefits if you take medication? Isn't that what benefits are for?

Sorry if I sound confused. Maybe I'm missing something here (wouldn't be the first time ).

In order to feel better, you really need to see a psychiatrist. Your obssesions are causing you much worry, and in this day and age it's not nessesary for you to feel this bad. There is help out there.

Please ask God to give you a calm about this. He is your Guide and Strength.

seajoy

Also...I used to have the fear of getting a disease type of ocd, too (along with religious thoughts). With therapy and meds, I don't even think of it anymore

 

[wiggsfly]

Actually I'm not afraid of losing a job. I'm a pilot and any treatment of OCD would cost me my medical certification to fly.

 

[seajoy]

Actually I'm not afraid of losing a job. I'm a pilot and any treatment of OCD would cost me my medical certification to fly.

Sorry to hear that (told you I was missing something ).
Is keeping your flying certification worth all your suffering? I'm sure flying is a very exciting thing...but so is feeling good .

May God bless you.
seajoy

 

[wiggsfly]

Actually, I quit my flying job about a week ago for ra number of reasons (including getting help). That's a lot of why I'm starting to talk about it as now I can finally do something.

 

[seajoy]

Actually, I quit my flying job about a week ago for ra number of reasons (including getting help). That's a lot of why I'm starting to talk about it as now I can finally do something.

Good for you.
I'm sorry you are suffering so much with your obssesions. What have you tried on your own, to get better? Have you read any books on ocd?
Have you heard of exposure/response therapy? You should have a psychiatrist's help with this.
There is help out there...if I can get better, anyone can!

seajoy

 

[wiggsfly]

I haven't tried a whole lot to be honest other than a little meditation/yoga and trying to force myself away from looking it up online. I need to get professional help as soon as I get health insurance again.

I hope I can get better. I've had this for probably about 20 years to one degree or another.

 

[HeatherG]

Hi Wiggsfly,
I agree with Seajoy it would be better if you could see a psychiatrist. There's also a really good book called Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz that helped me. Once you recognize you are having an OCD thought, the thing to do is to just ignore it and don't pursue the line of thought, no matter how your mind thinks it has to resolve things in order to get peace. The anxiety will still be there for a while, but it will subside if you just relax and don't treat it as a big deal. You could try going as long as possible without checking the Internet when you have one of your thoughts. It will be agony but you can start with a short time and build it up. Try to focus on something else instead and keep your mind busy with something good. Eventually your mind will cotton on that the OCD thoughts are no big deal and will put them to the back of your mind.
Well, I am not a psychiatrist or anything, but I do have experience of OCD so I hope this can help a little.
Heather

 

[seajoy]

Hi Wiggsfly,
I agree with Seajoy it would be better if you could see a psychiatrist. There's also a really good book called Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz that helped me. Once you recognize you are having an OCD thought, the thing to do is to just ignore it and don't pursue the line of thought, no matter how your mind thinks it has to resolve things in order to get peace. The anxiety will still be there for a while, but it will subside if you just relax and don't treat it as a big deal. You could try going as long as possible without checking the Internet when you have one of your thoughts. It will be agony but you can start with a short time and build it up. Try to focus on something else instead and keep your mind busy with something good. Eventually your mind will cotton on that the OCD thoughts are no big deal and will put them to the back of your mind.
Well, I am not a psychiatrist or anything, but I do have experience of OCD so I hope this can help a little.
Heather

Heather is right on track! Beautiful explanation! This is how I got better. It's the hardest thing I ever did, but it's the best thing I ever did for myself.

Thanks Heather

 

[wiggsfly]

I think that's what I will be doing as soon as I get some insurance again.

 

[eieiowe61]

Actually I'm not afraid of losing a job. I'm a pilot and any treatment of OCD would cost me my medical certification to fly.

Hi there - you've said you since quit your flying job to get help, but I'm curious--were you a private pilot or commercial? At your young age, you can get fixed, weaned off the meds, and still have plenty of years left to fly.

BTW, I work for the FAA, but not the medical side of the house. Why not come work for us? Lots of pilots without medicals have come over to the federal side of aviation!

Who knows?? I showed up on the OCD site because my sister-in-law suffers with it and is wearing my brother out, but maybe God led me here just to help you!

 

[ConcreteAngel]

I'm sorry to hear that it is so difficult for you to seek help...but I do strongly agree with the others...ie talk to someone about it. Doesn't the government cover a part of medical expenses in the US...in Australia you don't need private insurance because you can claim back a fair proportion of what you pay out from Medicare???

I'm a strong believer in CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy)...one of the things that my psychologist had me do was every time I had an obsessive thought, I had to go through a series of questions...like, "would most people think about this in this way?", "how likely, in rational terms, is it to happen?" etc....there's lots of good stuff out there using CBT to treat OCD....possibly more helpful than drugs because it attacks the cognitive (thought) processes behind the obsessive behaviours.

Hope this helps and doesn't sound clinical and scary....I'm nearly finished my psych degree and always worry that I sound like a shrink when I post things!!! But I have a lot of personal experience with mental illness hence why I want to be a psych!!!

 

[wiggsfly]

Hi there - you've said you since quit your flying job to get help, but I'm curious--were you a private pilot or commercial? At your young age, you can get fixed, weaned off the meds, and still have plenty of years left to fly.

BTW, I work for the FAA, but not the medical side of the house. Why not come work for us? Lots of pilots without medicals have come over to the federal side of aviation!

Who knows?? I showed up on the OCD site because my sister-in-law suffers with it and is wearing my brother out, but maybe God led me here just to help you!

I'm a commercial pilot (I was a captain for a 135 scheduled outfit). The meds idea was only one of fmany reasons I quit (although a good sized one). The bulk of it I just want more stability in my life than that was going to offer.

I've thought of the FAA. I'm actually in talking to HNL FSDO to see if there are any openings. I think it could definately be interesting work.

 

[ConcreteAngel]

This might be a helpful site http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/ocdaction/index.asp?id=262 for seeing how CBT may be helpful.

 

[sk8Joyful]

OCD: have any advicec for my problem.

Although I've never been officially diagnosed. I do have a number of ticks and have had a few doctors suggest I should seek help about it.

Hi Wigsfly

Thank suggestions that you seek help, because it's one thing to compulsively obsess - about rot you don't want in your life, freaks you out, and otherwise painfully troubles you.
But you know:
And it's another thing, entirely to be so wrapped up in Peacefull FUN emotions & thoughts you do relish enjoying, you can't help but light-UP on your inside, as well as on your outside, such that you want to shout it from the rooftops. You'd love being like this, right? ~ I know lotsa (undrugged) people like this; in fact, I am Good friends with them. How many people like us, do you know as well ?

Little things, like I have to keep lights off to avoid wasting electricity,
or I will literally run away from a smoker to avoid lung cancer. It's all pretty crazy.

Well, did you know keeping the lights on, actually helps heat your Living space, yuppers
And not to worry, Smoking does not cause cancer.
Were that true, people I've known who've been chimney stacks for close to a century, would've become worm-food a looong time ago. But no, they're still having the time of their lives, smoking and all. And close to being *centenarians*

Now, I'll sure agree that smoking-in that filthy nasty TAR ~ into your magnificent lungs JESUS designed & created for you, is a terrible waste of money, time, and many other useful resources. But again, smoking does not cause cancer.

For me I put all my stress and worry onto something I can't control. For years it was diseases. Every time I got a cough I thought I would be dying of cancer

Consequently I am probably one of the most knowledgable people around on cancer,
Heck, on good days I've even written hopeful essays on all the subjects, but on bad days, yikes. I feel bad for anyone around me.

Again, allow me to share with you some, in deed, very good News... You see, Jesus Christ taught that He (God) lived amongst us not only to pay the penalty for our mistakes and sins, but also very important to set the Example to us, of how we can help one another *access our God-blessed self-Healing abilities*. ~ Using these Basics, some of us availed ourselves of further schoolings, and thus we have been able to help ourselves, as well as many other people, 'self-heal' from such behavioral strategies as "cancering", etc.

Yuppers, imagine most of your stress & worry, fly alright - way... off... into a distant universe, or even become completely tranceformed.

Isn't this excitingly Good News, Wigsfly!

My question is what should I do?
I don't have health insurance right now, so I'm stuck with home remedies for at least a little while. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks.

Yes, my suggestion is for you to find a *Counselor*, educated & experienced in Guiding people
(out of negative, destructive, harmful emotions); and into Positive, Constructive and Helpful emotional-states-of-mind, and Anchor them in you successfully - such that the Life you are so deserving of, and want... you actualize, as your new Reality...

This therapetic approach, the AMA accepted in 1958 -
yet most Practitioners don't accept "Insurance payments" (for some helpful reasons).
Noteworthy also, you are spared the stigma of any 'diagnostic labels, plus damaging side-effects from prescribed drugs'.

You simply get *what you want*, which you might think of as the Life... of your finest dreams...

I wish you ALL the best, friend

Annie

 

[sk8Joyful]

I'm a strong believer in CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy)...

to treat OCD....possibly? more helpful than drugs because it attacks the cognitive (thought) processes behind the obsessive behaviours.

Yes, after a L-O-N-G drawn-out 'therapy' (affording the 'psych' how many? Mercedes ),
it may possibly help get relief.

The problem with that: Behavior is not generated by "cognitive (thought) processes".

Behavior, or our billions of Individual strategies, are generated by the mind (outside consciousness/cognition).

Annie

 

[eieiowe61]

Hi Wiggsfly - I just PM'd you reference the HNL FSDO and a POC there for you to talk to.

Flight Standards =
Air Traffic Control =

Good luck!!

 

[ConcreteAngel]

Yes, after a L-O-N-G drawn-out 'therapy' (affording the 'psych' how many? Mercedes ),
it may possibly help get relief.

The problem with that: Behavior is not generated by "cognitive (thought) processes".

Behavior, or our billions of Individual strategies, are generated by the mind (outside consciousness/cognition).

Annie

I see your point...however my counter-argument to that would be...if you think about something in a certain way, it shapes the way you respond to the stimuli when presented with it....ie if I think that something "bad" will happen if i don't, say, wash my hands a certain number of times then i will keep maintaining that behaviour. However, if, through behavioural experiments (like, asking yourself...how often do bad things happen when I don't follow through the ritual?...ie look at the evidence) you come to change that thought process and consequently come to the realisation that "bad" things happening are not inextricably linked to how many times you wash your hands, then the behaviour becomes redundant/changed.....

This is just how I got through my OCD which resulted from significant trauma....and some of the newer CBT techniques are really quite short-term

....but everyone has to do what's right for them....and CBT does not suit everyone...some may prefer a rational-emotive approach, or a purely pharmacological approach......all effective with different people for different reasons

 

[Blackness]

Actually I'm not afraid of losing a job. I'm a pilot and any treatment of OCD would cost me my medical certification to fly.

I have OCD and I am looking to become a pilot, anyway your not alone in this one for sure I always worry about being infected with HIV, and I keep searching information on HIV. I search info on HIV/AIDS alot and learn alot too which is a good thing. I pray to God that they will go away and latley they have been reducing a little. God be with you.
just wondering what kind of medication is not approved by the FAA that might make you lose this job, and what kind of job as a pilot do you have (airline ect..) and what type of plane do you fly?

 

[wiggsfly]

I have OCD and I am looking to become a pilot, anyway your not alone in this one for sure I always worry about being infected with HIV, and I keep searching information on HIV. I search info on HIV/AIDS alot and learn alot too which is a good thing. I pray to God that they will go away and latley they have been reducing a little. God be with you.
just wondering what kind of medication is not approved by the FAA that might make you lose this job, and what kind of job as a pilot do you have (airline ect..) and what type of plane do you fly?

I flew a Cessna Caravan asa captain for a small airline. As for medication, just about any mental condition medicine can cause you problems. You can usually get them worked out, but it might take a while.