what are your views on forced apologizing?

[Redguard]

I don't want her thinking that she can get away with bad behaviour without SOME kind of reprimand.

That being said, yes, I'll force an apology. And if it doesn't come out sounding heartfelt, then she'll have to say it again until it at least sounds like she means it.

I'm big on manners and etiquette. I expect to hear "please", "thank you", and an apology when I've been wronged. Like gengwall's wife, I also tend to apologize a bit too much... which annoys Mrs. Redguard to no end (she, who refuses to apologize even if you put a gun to her head )

We live in a society where the rude are trampling all over those who still have the courtesy of being polite and remembering when to show a bit of manners in public.

My goal in forcing apologies is to let her know that there are values in this world that still mean something. Even if forcing yourself as a child brings you to have a hard heart towards the person you're apologizing to, I think it'll make sense one day why it's important.

I've gotten myself many freebies by being polite to store owners or Customer Service Reps.

 

[-~Truth_N_Trust~-]

well, my daughter loved that veggie tales movie "God wants me to forgive them?" so that helped her understand the concept of sorry.
I do ask her to say sorry when she's done something wrong - even if it's by accident. I don't force her, but I explain the wrong then ask her to please apologise.

Jgonz, I love what you said about needing to be friends with your family first. That is a huge principle in our family but you stated it very well in a way that really spoke to me.

 

[katelyn]

We resolve whatever the issue is first, then an apology is suggested but not required. In the case of hitting, Natalie does have to tell me she won't hurt anyone again (in other words, acknowledge that her behavior was wrong and agree to stop it!) before she is allowed to go play. She will usually, but not always, say sorry when I suggest it.

But then, I don't force please/thank you either. Modeling seems to be more effective than forcing IMO.

 

[Christdefinesme]

Well, we don't "force" an apology, our kids can choose to apologize/forgive, or, fall out of fellowship with their friends/family (alone for a while in room) until they choose to admit wrongdoing . We don't just require it from our kids, we require it from us, too. PRIDE is such a constant in the human nature, and can really do damage to relationships, and to our own spiritual life. I feel it's really important to keep the pride exposed, and little reminders like apoligies/forgiveness helps in this area.
I believe and have seen that it is INCREDIBLY important for kids to learn early to humble themselves, and admit wrongdoing, as well as to humble themselves and offer forgiveness to eachother as quickly as possible. Usually, I have found, since it is required, it is also usually genuine (which may not make sense, but it's true), usually, if you act "right" your heart follows. It is a habit in our house, and I know that as adults, my kids will have much healthier, fulfilling relationships with others as they continue to act humbly toward others.
Apologizing/acting humbly toward others heals relationships and keeps bonds strong with others. Also, my kids are less likely to repeat behavior if they have had to go through the humbling process of admitting wrongdoing/offering forgiveness.
This is a constant in our house and I wouldn't change a thing!

 

[OrangeHope]

I forgot to say in my original post that not only do I make my kids apologize, I make the one who got hurt/offended/whatever say "I forgive you" as well. And if Either of them aren't honestly sorry or forgiving, then I'll say something to the effect that they better Really be sorry/forgiving or they're both going to be in trouble. lol They have to say their sorry like they mean it. No one is allowed to get away with any snotty talk.

I agree, I think it's important kids know why they need to say sorry, make them realize they have hurt some one and make them understand that hurt never feels good. I do think they should get in trouble/punished if they won't say sorry cause they don't mean it, I believe this teaches them skills for later on to be considering to other and know when you need to say sorry and ask for forgiveness.

 

[Caffeinated]

I don't want her thinking that she can get away with bad behaviour without SOME kind of reprimand.

That being said, yes, I'll force an apology. And if it doesn't come out sounding heartfelt, then she'll have to say it again until it at least sounds like she means it.

I'm big on manners and etiquette. I expect to hear "please", "thank you", and an apology when I've been wronged. Like gengwall's wife, I also tend to apologize a bit too much... which annoys Mrs. Redguard to no end (she, who refuses to apologize even if you put a gun to her head )

We live in a society where the rude are trampling all over those who still have the courtesy of being polite and remembering when to show a bit of manners in public.

My goal in forcing apologies is to let her know that there are values in this world that still mean something. Even if forcing yourself as a child brings you to have a hard heart towards the person you're apologizing to, I think it'll make sense one day why it's important.

I've gotten myself many freebies by being polite to store owners or Customer Service Reps.

I fully agree.
I just feel like an apology is part of having basic manners.

I apologize to my kids and I expect them to apologize when they've done something wrong.

 

[BananaCake]

Interesting.....