what are we setting ourselves up for?

[72_Chev_Truck]

I was just watching Tech Live on TechTv and the new thing people are doing on ebay is astonishing. You can buy an imaginary girlfriend for 4 weeks. In this 4 weeks you will get emails from these girls, a full page letter in the mail phone calls and then at the end of the 4 weeks you can call the girl and explain to her why you are breaking up with her. Then she sends a final letter to you.

Does anyone else think this is horribly discusting? I mean lets talk to a girl for 4 weeks, she emails you everyday, you fight with her on occasion, you see her pictures but never meet, and what happens if you actually are stupid enough to fall in love with them. Oh Guess what after 4 weeks your contract is up so say goodbye.

sorry for the rant

 

[yonderboy]

I found this ebay auction a bit disturbing myself:

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/story_pages/news/news3.shtml

She sold her virginity on ebayUK for 10,000 pounds!

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

Yea I read about that, sickening, granted mine was lost for free in the back of a blazer. now that its gone i realize its so precious i wish i could take it back. she was a virgin in the most technical form of the word.

 

[Stanfi]

All of it is rather disturbing, and we wonder why people have so many emotional issues?

I do suspect that people who do these sort of things, suffer a lot of pain. When we lives our lives out of the will of God, when we don't walk in His love. When we don't accept His Son, and we don't allow Him to be Lord and master of our lives. Then we have no peace, and life if just a big black whole.

 

[Living4Him03]

That's crazy! YOu know I don't really think she's a virgin...she had sex with a woman and sorry folks but I still believe that counts. It's sad how warped her view of sexuality and relationships is. That is really pathetic and sad.

 

[fishstix]

That's more disgusting than reality tv shows

 

[holo]

Nah.
People who would buy this, deserve what they get IMO.
It's like watching Temptation Island: not only is it an intellectual crime, it's a punishment in itself.

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

Yea the girl that sold her "virginity" was definately not a virgin by my standards but the men who bid on her didnt care because they would have been the first man to be with her. Stupid!

 

[plum]

what's up with virgins being especially attractive to men? it's... interesting. it's as if, even with how warped and sick our sexuality has gotten, we still value purity in some twisted way- if only to use it and throw it away

 

[yonderboy]

well, expect the answer to that question to be no less warped and twisted, i guess.

lemme start by saying this is what some of my unsaved friends think, not my own thoughts at all...

a part of it has to do with physical aspects of virginity - "clean, unused, tighter".

another part has to do with the rush guys get from "teaching" a girl - no bad habits to break, and some of them enjoy the thought of "dirtying" her, making her impure. giving her something she's never experienced before.

maybe it's just my own inexperience talking, but i don't see the thrill in that... when i meet the woman i'll marry, i would prefer it if she were a virgin. if she's the one for me, and she happens not to be, then i'll be able to deal with it - we've all got pasts, i know she'll have to forgive me my own. myself, i really have to say i value purity in a girl im spending a lot of time with. im a lot less likely to be interrested in a girl who is flirting with every guy in the room, and seems just as likely to be interrested in me as in the next guy. we all have pasts, but we need pure hearts before we can think about dating someone, far as im concerned...

peace and love
alberto

 

[plum]

i appreciate your answer, alberto.

My mind is flighty while I write this, but here's my thing: I have made poor choices and impure decisions in my past. But through the Total Grace of God, they do not exist spiritually for me anymore. They are erased and I am pure again. That is the glory of God working in me. I would only desire to marry a man who understands what God has now made me and who would also value God's purification in his own life. Sexuality is not a beast to be tamed, but a creation of God to exemplify himself.

I wish we hadn't perverted it.
Perhaps the people behind the "imaginary girlfriend" need help. Prayer. What they are doing shows how they feel towards intimate relationships, and that is truly sad...

 

[yonderboy]

alright, time to expose myself - here goes nothing. i've made a lot of bad choices myself... while ive never had full on sex with a girl (and I'm thankful for that), i have done some things i find myself regretting.

my own personal demon over the years has been pornography - at times it's been a real addiction. binge, live clean, slip up, binge again. a horrid cycle. it amazes me how much power pornography can have. sometimes i've felt completely and totally hopeless to it.

i realized it wasnt something i could take care of on my own - trying to do it by sheer will was my first mistake. i started praying about my lustful heart, burying myself in the gospel, and asking god to remind me that every time i slip up i'm cheapening anyone he may yet have in store for me in the future. i know i can't undo the past, but i'm washed clean through jesus, and im a changed man now. nobody get me wrong, the urge is still there, the temptation is very real - but with jesus beside me, im able for the first time in my life to stand up to it. he's made all the difference.

for me it wasnt so much about a lack of respect or desire for intimate relationships - it was more escapism. i could get away from my problems, ever so briefly. the only problem is that it left me thirsting for more, every single time. ironically, it was standing in the way of my forming any real intimate relationships - all the shame any lying really warped me. no more

that's what i meant when i said that i know the girl i marry will be able to accept my past - lots of bad things, but now im beautiful through christ. i think so, anyway

 

[desi]

Virgins are attractive to unGodly guys for several reasons... They are new to men and being their first makes you unique to them forever. They are 'tighter' and when you leave them they are not the same as when you found them. They are pure and naive in many ways, not 'hard' in a worldly way like nonvirgins as such they are more giving and less suspicious. As a unGodly young man I had my sport with them, as a father of several daughters I know I have to teach them good judgement in this area and hang a big gun in my living room when the guys come a callin.

 

[William Nunn]

what's up with virgins being especially attractive to men? it's... interesting. it's as if, even with how warped and sick our sexuality has gotten, we still value purity in some twisted way- if only to use it and throw it away

Because it stinks knowing that there's another man in my woman's life that I can never replace. Yes, you can be a born again virgin and all that, but you will always remember your first. It's like, I know that I can be the man who loves most, who makes her the happiest, I can be her best lover physically and emotionally, but I will NEVER be her first. There's always going to be this guy that has got to experience a part of my wife that I will never have - and that stinks. So that's one reason.

 

[yonderboy]

right- but you do have some degree of choice in who you marry, dont you? Don't you think it would be better to pray for the inner strength to be more like jesus and look past your wife's past, or even not marry her at all, if you'll always hold a grudge? we've all done things we arent proud of, every last one of us. if we judge each others, especially if we judge people who have repented and are living right, we short circuit our relantionships, loosing their full potential for intimacy, and we sin ourselves by judging. remember that god holds us to the standards we use for others... by all means, if you've never sinned there's a nice looking stone for you to throw right over there...

 

[yonderboy]

what's up with virgins being especially attractive to men? it's... interesting. it's as if, even with how warped and sick our sexuality has gotten, we still value purity in some twisted way- if only to use it and throw it away

...and im pretty sure she meant virgins being valued and twisted by guys who have no intent other than to have sex with them and leave them, for the twisted pleasure of having their way with someone innocent and pure. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone pure, just remember that Jesus grants that purity to all of us, regardless of what we've done in the past.

 

[plum]

Another thought passing through my mind:
Having casual sex, sex without safety and commitment, or being sexually active which includes sex acts other than intercourse, holds no candle to the glorious coming together of a man and his wife when they become one flesh in marriage. Having had casual sex before (I was not in a love relationship with either guy- another sad fact) and now having repented of it and praying over it and seeking help and healing... I can confidently say that all I now desire is the union of my body, soul, and mind with my (maybe someday) husband. Sex has -meaning-. It means something- even if we don't say it does. And my misuse of it has held me back from a lot of things. But oh the <b>joy</b> of saving this newfound meaning of sex for my husband. I was urged to pray for him, whoever he might be, that he might have the same mind as Christ about how to love a wife with a past.

And I think those of you who are afraid perhaps of what may be going on in your spouse's mind during sex... consider this: you are joining yourself with someone who has never been joined to anyone else before, even if they've had sex. In marriage, you are now more like God's true self, fully male and fully female. And God rejoices over your union.

No new revelation, but it made sense in my head.

 

[desi]

right- but you do have some degree of choice in who you marry, dont you? Don't you think it would be better to pray for the inner strength to be more like jesus and look past your wife's past, or even not marry her at all, if you'll always hold a grudge? we've all done things we arent proud of, every last one of us. if we judge each others, especially if we judge people who have repented and are living right, we short circuit our relantionships, loosing their full potential for intimacy, and we sin ourselves by judging. remember that god holds us to the standards we use for others... by all means, if you've never sinned there's a nice looking stone for you to throw right over there...

Marrying a nonvirgin is like marrying a fat person, or somone who smokes. It is an indicator of the choices the person has made and may make in the future. I've found judging people by their past choices is much safer that taking them at face value because they often are ignorant to or intentionally minimize their faults. If we do not judiciously screen the people we invite into our intimate lives we set ourselves up for disaster.

 

[fishstix]

Marrying a nonvirgin is like marrying a fat person, or somone who smokes. It is an indicator of the choices the person has made and may make in the future. I've found judging people by their past choices is much safer that taking them at face value because they often are ignorant to or intentionally minimize their faults. If we do not judiciously screen the people we invite into our intimate lives we set ourselves up for disaster.

(is a fat person - it's genetic)

 

[yonderboy]

Marrying a nonvirgin is like marrying a fat person, or somone who smokes. It is an indicator of the choices the person has made and may make in the future. I've found judging people by their past choices is much safer that taking them at face value because they often are ignorant to or intentionally minimize their faults. If we do not judiciously screen the people we invite into our intimate lives we set ourselves up for disaster.

Desi, isnt it lucky for us that Jesus screens us by what's in our hearts now, not by the sin we chose before we knew him?