What am I supposed to DO at church?

[Kale100]

Hi there, I guess you could say I'm a new Christian, I'm definitely new to church, and am having trouble figuring out what exactly church is supposed to be about and what I'm supposed to actually do there. To put it bluntly, what's the point?
Coming into it my expectation was...
1) Hear a sermon to teach God's word
2) Interact with and integrate into a community of people who support each other personally and in their faith
3) Participate in charitable works in the community

What I've experienced so far...
1) Check, but then again that could just as well be accomplished on the radio
2) Everybody kind of seems 'in their bubble', i.e. they show up when the service starts, when the service ends they leave and maybe on the way out chat with the same people they always chat to. For example, my ~3rd time at a church, and 1st time in maybe 2 years... during the service there was someone who walked outside, sat against the building, and started crying. My first instinct was 'hey shouldn't someone go talk to that guy?', there were people standing and chatting right next to him, but nobody gave him a glance, so I went and talked to him. When the service ended, overwhelmed by the whole experience, I became that guy. I was outside for 20 minutes or so as 100+ people walked by without a glance or at most a 'drive-by' handshake (as in they didn't even stop walking). There was a really nice older lady who did stop and we had a really good exchange, but I haven't seen her since or had any other meaningful interaction with anyone. Am I supposed to go before the service starts to interact with people? I've tried staying after but it seems everyone just wants to leave.
3) I asked if they needed any help doing things at the church or in any of their community works. It appears I've gotten the ol' runaround in regards to that. Go talk to this guy > go talk to this other guy > he'll pass your info along to that guy and that guy jr. Haven't heard anything back.

 

[PloverWing]

Ouch.

1) There are different styles of worship in different churches. My personal preference is for a style of worship that's more participatory -- so, more than just listening to a sermon -- but sermons can be good too.

2) Yeah, ideally a church is a community of people who care about each other. I don't know why no one talked to the guy who was crying. I'm glad you were there for him.

3) The church should not have given you the runaround. A much better response would have been "You want to do X? Wonderful! Bob's in charge of organizing X, so let me write down your name and contact information and give it to Bob, and we'll include you in the group the next time we do X." I might make a little allowance in case Bob is on vacation or something, but still, the church should have been delighted to welcome you into the church's ministries.

So, yeah, you're right to expect better. I don't know what to tell you about this particular congregation, without having seen them in person. Maybe they're having a couple of "off" weeks, and they'll do better in the fall, or maybe you might visit the next church down the street and see if they have a more welcoming community.

 

[Kale100]

3) The church should not have given you the runaround. A much better response would have been "You want to do X? Wonderful! Bob's in charge of organizing X, so let me write down your name and contact information and give it to Bob, and we'll include you in the group the next time we do X." I might make a little allowance in case Bob is on vacation or something, but still, the church should have been delighted to welcome you into the church's ministries.

Actually the back and forth so far has been roughly...
Me: Hey I want to help with something, I have free time, what do you all do, what can I help with?
Guy #1: Well Guy #2 that's here a lot during the time you're free, I'll give you his number.
Me to guy #2: Hey I want to help with something, I have free time, what do you all do, what can I help with?
Guy #2: What do you want to do?
Me: I'm not sure what you guys do, whatever use you can find for me.
Guy #2: Ok I'll give your number to guy #3 and guy #4.

Was I perhaps being a little 'to the point'?

 

[SavedByGrace3]

The most often cited scripture people use to promote church attendance is:

Hebrews 10:25 KJV
25. Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

How much "exhorting one another" actually gets done in a church service?

 

[PloverWing]

Hmm, in that case, maybe it's a combination of the open-endedness of your question and disorganization on the church's part.

The ideal would be a conversation with a person who has a good idea of all the church's ministries and who can give you a list to choose from, which could then make the conversation more specific. To use my congregation as an example, if asked I might answer "You could join the choir, or be a lector, or teach children's Sunday School, or participate in our program that feeds homeless families, or work with the folks who maintain the building, or join our team of treasurers/accountants who look after the money, all depending on what your talents and interests are. Does any of that sound interesting?" And then you could pick something off that list, and I could connect you with the person who organizes that ministry.

I'd suggest trying the conversation again, but talk with someone who has a good idea of the whole scope of the church's ministries. The pastor is one possibility. Sometimes church web sites list the church's ministries as well, ideally with contact information. (Now I've got to go see if our church's web site is up to date...)

 

[Kale100]

That's kind of how I was hoping the conversation would have proceeded. Maybe I should talk to the pastor about that (again).

 

[timf]

There are many alternative to the common church model. Church as an organizational system with events, classes, programs, and activities can seem to inhibit the relationships that Christianity was intended to foster (us with God and each other). You might find house church or other small group more what you are looking for. There are also many resources on the Internet such as;

Christian Pioneer

Christian Pioneer - Answers to questions about Christianity

christianpioneer.com

You might also find a small bible church where you could learn to use bible tools for study. The free software esword is pretty neat.

 

[NBB]

Going to church is important because we are promised that when we are together Jesus is going to be there, even doing miracles and 'sending eternal life and blessings', the bible talks we should not stop congregating, also the preaching is important to keep us on track on the christian path.

 

[BobRyan]

Hi there, I guess you could say I'm a new Christian, I'm definitely new to church, and am having trouble figuring out what exactly church is supposed to be about and what I'm supposed to actually do there. To put it bluntly, what's the point?
Coming into it my expectation was...
1) Hear a sermon to teach God's word
2) Interact with and integrate into a community of people who support each other personally and in their faith
3) Participate in charitable works in the community

What I've experienced so far...
1) Check, but then again that could just as well be accomplished on the radio
2) Everybody kind of seems 'in their bubble', i.e. they show up when the service starts, when the service ends they leave and maybe on the way out chat with the same people they always chat to. For example, my ~3rd time at a church, and 1st time in maybe 2 years... during the service there was someone who walked outside, sat against the building, and started crying. My first instinct was 'hey shouldn't someone go talk to that guy?', there were people standing and chatting right next to him, but nobody gave him a glance, so I went and talked to him. When the service ended, overwhelmed by the whole experience, I became that guy. I was outside for 20 minutes or so as 100+ people walked by without a glance or at most a 'drive-by' handshake (as in they didn't even stop walking). There was a really nice older lady who did stop and we had a really good exchange, but I haven't seen her since or had any other meaningful interaction with anyone. Am I supposed to go before the service starts to interact with people? I've tried staying after but it seems everyone just wants to leave.
3) I asked if they needed any help doing things at the church or in any of their community works. It appears I've gotten the ol' runaround in regards to that. Go talk to this guy > go talk to this other guy > he'll pass your info along to that guy and that guy jr. Haven't heard anything back.

Small congregations of less than 200 in Attendance -- tend to be far more interactive.

 

[ari.sketch]

A bit of a back story,
After a number of years without going to church (personal issues, covid pandemic, etc), I began to understand the need and importance of belonging to a Christian community, especially when going through life challenges.

Praise God I found a church and the strength to go. I have been going the last two Sundays. I'm very, very thankful that I could once again be in a Christian community.

Now that I found a church (though I won't be staying long as I plan to go back to Canada in a month or so, depending how things progress),

I can somewhat see myself in the same situation as the OP.

But for me, my main focus now is just the joy of being in a Christian community, fellowshiping with other believers - it has been too long I did not have this opportunity.

And even though I may not be here long, I want to slowly start building relationship with other members.

In regards to OP's point 3 ... maybe it might start and/or come from point 2 - first building a good relationship with other members, and once that is somewhat established, point 3 will come naturally?

I would love to do some type of work at my new church as well, but right now I'm just focus on building relationship with other members, and perhaps helping them first before helping the church.

 

[tturt]

Do they have a website?

Do they have foundational training sessions where they describe their core values and programs? At those type meetings there are opportunities to interact and volunteer. Maybe asks if they want their volunteers to be members?

Not limited to being there but at church, we can praise and worship our Lord together. What an opportunity.

 

[Christopher Range]

Hi there, I guess you could say I'm a new Christian, I'm definitely new to church, and am having trouble figuring out what exactly church is supposed to be about and what I'm supposed to actually do there. To put it bluntly, what's the point?
Coming into it my expectation was...
1) Hear a sermon to teach God's word
2) Interact with and integrate into a community of people who support each other personally and in their faith
3) Participate in charitable works in the community

What I've experienced so far...
1) Check, but then again that could just as well be accomplished on the radio
2) Everybody kind of seems 'in their bubble', i.e. they show up when the service starts, when the service ends they leave and maybe on the way out chat with the same people they always chat to. For example, my ~3rd time at a church, and 1st time in maybe 2 years... during the service there was someone who walked outside, sat against the building, and started crying. My first instinct was 'hey shouldn't someone go talk to that guy?', there were people standing and chatting right next to him, but nobody gave him a glance, so I went and talked to him. When the service ended, overwhelmed by the whole experience, I became that guy. I was outside for 20 minutes or so as 100+ people walked by without a glance or at most a 'drive-by' handshake (as in they didn't even stop walking). There was a really nice older lady who did stop and we had a really good exchange, but I haven't seen her since or had any other meaningful interaction with anyone. Am I supposed to go before the service starts to interact with people? I've tried staying after but it seems everyone just wants to leave.
3) I asked if they needed any help doing things at the church or in any of their community works. It appears I've gotten the ol' runaround in regards to that. Go talk to this guy > go talk to this other guy > he'll pass your info along to that guy and that guy jr. Haven't heard anything back.

Hmmm...

How new a Christian are you?

Did you just go to any congregation? Because there are Conservative congregations and, Liberal congregations. There are denominational, and non-denominational congregations.

As was mentioned in another response. The smaller congregations are far more interactive with the members, as opposed to a megachurch of 10,000 members.

The Sermon, along with the 1st n' 2nd Reading, are all tied together.

The best time to ask if the congregation needs help in any way, isn't on Sunday, but. Calling the congregation office Tuesday-Friday(a congregation office is usually closed on Monday).

Get a Devotional Bible

 

[RoBo1988]

Hmmm...

How new a Christian are you?

Did you just go to any congregation? Because there are Conservative congregations and, Liberal congregations. There are denominational, and non-denominational congregations.

As was mentioned in another response. The smaller congregations are far more interactive with the members, as opposed to a megachurch of 10,000 members.

The Sermon, along with the 1st n' 2nd Reading, are all tied together.

The best time to ask if the congregation needs help in any way, isn't on Sunday, but. Calling the congregation office Tuesday-Friday(a congregation office is usually closed on Monday).

Get a Devotional Bible

I would also add, get a copy of Oswald Chambers ' " My Utmost for his Highest" . A Bible based devotional, that cuts to the chase in discipleship. A paperback may cost you $7.00

My wife and I were attending a small fellowship, where we were both involved in the music ministry. We enjoyed that part, but the discipleship part was sorley lacking.

We now attend a much larger church of about 250, that doesn't seem to need us for anything. We usually sign up for cleanup crews, after special events. So we're kind of in a similar situation.

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Hi there, I guess you could say I'm a new Christian, I'm definitely new to church, and am having trouble figuring out what exactly church is supposed to be about and what I'm supposed to actually do there. To put it bluntly, what's the point?
Coming into it my expectation was...
1) Hear a sermon to teach God's word
2) Interact with and integrate into a community of people who support each other personally and in their faith
3) Participate in charitable works in the community

What I've experienced so far...
1) Check, but then again that could just as well be accomplished on the radio
2) Everybody kind of seems 'in their bubble', i.e. they show up when the service starts, when the service ends they leave and maybe on the way out chat with the same people they always chat to. For example, my ~3rd time at a church, and 1st time in maybe 2 years... during the service there was someone who walked outside, sat against the building, and started crying. My first instinct was 'hey shouldn't someone go talk to that guy?', there were people standing and chatting right next to him, but nobody gave him a glance, so I went and talked to him. When the service ended, overwhelmed by the whole experience, I became that guy. I was outside for 20 minutes or so as 100+ people walked by without a glance or at most a 'drive-by' handshake (as in they didn't even stop walking). There was a really nice older lady who did stop and we had a really good exchange, but I haven't seen her since or had any other meaningful interaction with anyone. Am I supposed to go before the service starts to interact with people? I've tried staying after but it seems everyone just wants to leave.
3) I asked if they needed any help doing things at the church or in any of their community works. It appears I've gotten the ol' runaround in regards to that. Go talk to this guy > go talk to this other guy > he'll pass your info along to that guy and that guy jr. Haven't heard anything back.

I would try a different church.

 

[anetazo]

Hebrews chapter 5 . Christian people are to study sound doctrine and have spiritual growth.
Sadly, many hirelings have failed to nourish their flocks and teach sound doctrine.
Many congregations are spiritually dead. After 20 or 30 years, they are biblically illiterate. Isaiah chapter 30;21. Yet your teachers will not be moved into corner anymore, but your eyes shall se your teachers.
Shepherds are supposed to feed the former rain and latter rain to thier flocks, and some hirelings teach tradition of men and false doctrine.
Hosea chapter 6:3 tells us of the former rain and latter rain.
The former rain is milk of God's word.
Latter rain is the meat of God's word.
Many Christian people don't have the latter rain.
To be vessel of God, a minister, is to have spiritual growth.
By studying the bible. God wants to use Christian people to produce fruit. That's sharing Gods truth with lost souls.
Those who are biblically illiterate, are of no use to God.
That's why the former rain and latter rain is important. It's spirtual growth !.
Study the bible.

 

[Dave G.]

Some congregations are wordy after service, others clicky, some social events. I belonged to one where there was coffee or even lunches but it was something called a rap. And a pastor or two continued the theme of the message and it was interactive. That was good but even that got into personalities. Other churches, it's any of that but rather than discuss the message it's all about individuals interests during the week. Till next week then do it all over again. Socializing in the church environment is called fellowship.

Yet we are called to gather together. I belong to one now where certain people approach the pastor willingly. He approaches people kind of making the rounds. We have the ones who every week go down to fellowship and the ones who show up 4 minutes into the service and head right out the door after. You can watch it all go on. But we sing hymns and spiritual songs, have soloists for what they call special music and always a good message right from the bible. Monthly communion, Wed night bible study, organized functions. Monthly pot luck lunch, monthly Saturday evening Singspiration. If you are getting non of the above I guess you could suggest it or else find someplace more active to attend. But in any church there will be key personalities. Always.

But we are there to be spiritually nourished, to grow in Christ, grow in His word and to praise and to worship Him. It's fuel for how we live.

 

[Light of the East]

Hi there, I guess you could say I'm a new Christian, I'm definitely new to church, and am having trouble figuring out what exactly church is supposed to be about and what I'm supposed to actually do there. To put it bluntly, what's the point?
Coming into it my expectation was...
1) Hear a sermon to teach God's word
2) Interact with and integrate into a community of people who support each other personally and in their faith
3) Participate in charitable works in the community

What I've experienced so far...
1) Check, but then again that could just as well be accomplished on the radio
2) Everybody kind of seems 'in their bubble', i.e. they show up when the service starts, when the service ends they leave and maybe on the way out chat with the same people they always chat to. For example, my ~3rd time at a church, and 1st time in maybe 2 years... during the service there was someone who walked outside, sat against the building, and started crying. My first instinct was 'hey shouldn't someone go talk to that guy?', there were people standing and chatting right next to him, but nobody gave him a glance, so I went and talked to him. When the service ended, overwhelmed by the whole experience, I became that guy. I was outside for 20 minutes or so as 100+ people walked by without a glance or at most a 'drive-by' handshake (as in they didn't even stop walking). There was a really nice older lady who did stop and we had a really good exchange, but I haven't seen her since or had any other meaningful interaction with anyone. Am I supposed to go before the service starts to interact with people? I've tried staying after but it seems everyone just wants to leave.
3) I asked if they needed any help doing things at the church or in any of their community works. It appears I've gotten the ol' runaround in regards to that. Go talk to this guy > go talk to this other guy > he'll pass your info along to that guy and that guy jr. Haven't heard anything back.

What is your background? Were you just religious and had a conversion experience? Did you study to select a church or are you just going to the nearest and most convenient body with which you agree?

How about a church that worships in the manner that the earliest Christians did? One that uses Scripture, including the Psalms, as part of its worship? One that is reverent and has a set structure of worship so that you know what is going on? One that in its worship has much symbolism?

 

[DragonFox91]

Hearing a sermon is some of the service. There s/b singing & prayer. You're communicating to God back. He's communicating to you thru his Word, you're communicating back w/ singing & prayer.

In regards to 2, churches s/b having Sunday Schools or 'Life Groups' where the congregation is broken into smaller groups. This is where community is formed. They may do things during the week too, weekly, bi-weekly, once a month. If it's just the service & coffee hour, the church isn't living up to it's full potential. It may still be clicky even in smaller groups, that's okay, keep trying. But it really could be just not a good fit & move on. But give it time & patience & let God work.

It should be easy to get involved in simple community service opportunities. I don't really have any advice on this one, usually it's just a sheet of paper, 'sign-up if you want to', & they'll send you the info.