I met this girl through a Christian dating site. She lives near where I'm from but I'm currently stationed pretty far away from home (military). We've been talking about 3 months and for the last 2 1/2 months we've talked every day on the phone. Her personality instantly impressed me. For years I asked God to let me meet a certain kind of girl, and she seems to be it. About a month ago, I started feeling more deeply for her. At first, I didn't know what was happening. I've had feelings of infatuation before, but those feelings were nowhere near this powerful. And whenever I pray about it, they get stronger. I really believe that I love her, at least as a friend (and I'm using how I feel along with the Biblical definition). Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met? Also, does anyone really know how feelings like this develop? It just seems so strange that I can feel like this about someone I've never met. In all my life, I've never felt like this for somebody and it kind of scares me. I just don't know what's happening. Thanks. I also meant to mention that for the first time in my life, this just feels right. I think that a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm goingto God with this one and not just trying to make it alone. She is the first girl I've ever been able to reall see myself with.
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What am I feeling?
- Thread starter txlonestar
- Start date
septemberskies
You can find me on cloud no.9
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txlonestar said:
Well i can tell you from experience yes it is possible to love someone you never met. I was a complete skeptic and then BOOM!!!! it happened to me lol
I guess the feelings come from just connecting more mentally then you would from just the normal face to face meetings. Its more personal and less physical reactions and gestures, so as a result you will be more involved and open emotionally to understand where the other person is coming from.
I must caution you that such a connection can be misleading as we tend to be more open in written words than our actual vebalized words and interactions.
But nevertheless the feelings could be real on both sides of the fence and the best you can do is continue to get to know her and eventually look to meet up with her to see if the feelings hold true in person.
...definitely pray pray pray. It sounds exciting though and i hope things work out
-septemberskies.
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Princess Leia
God's ragamuffin
txlonestar said:
I know exactly what you mean because I'm in the same situation myself. I met Cory on here, and we started talking on MSN. Then when he was really down, we started talking on the phone, and now it's been about two and a half months, and we talk on the phone every day. Like you, my feelings for him scare me sometimes because I've never felt this before. And like you, it just feels right. I've prayed about it a lot, and I feel like he is the one God has for me.
I don't really have any answers for you, I just thought it might help to know that you're not the only this has happened to.
Keep praying, and let God lead your relationship.
I'll be praying for you two
God bless
Princess Leia/Kendra
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R
Ruukah
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lol.. That's what happened to me too!
You definitely can fall in love with someone you haven't met in person. It sounds like you've really been praying hard about it and seeking God's will, so I'd say there's a good chance you'll make it work! That's the most important thing--seek God's will, and everything will fall into place right down to the details...even if you don't really understand what's happening. God's guidance is often seen only in hindsight. Anyway hang in there and keep those lines of communication open. Something good is happening.
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I
InTheFlame
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It can be EASIER to 'fall in love' with someone you've never met. You build up a picture of them in your head (not appearance, but of their personality and character) and never even realise that there's stuff in there that comes from what you WANT them to be like, not what they've actually shown you.
The reason it can be easier online etc is that there isn't as much opportunity for them to burst your illusion. Words are more thought out when they're typed, and they can be read with a filter that makes them say exactly what you want to hear. There isn't as much opportunity to see someone's bad side... the nasty way they treat their mother, or the flashes of bad temper, or a desire to have everything their own way. The internet is a great way to present your good side, and hide your bad side away. Don't let yourself fall in love until you've seen someone's bad side. Be very, very careful.
The reason it can be easier online etc is that there isn't as much opportunity for them to burst your illusion. Words are more thought out when they're typed, and they can be read with a filter that makes them say exactly what you want to hear. There isn't as much opportunity to see someone's bad side... the nasty way they treat their mother, or the flashes of bad temper, or a desire to have everything their own way. The internet is a great way to present your good side, and hide your bad side away. Don't let yourself fall in love until you've seen someone's bad side. Be very, very careful.
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Ruukah
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I've met many people through the Internet. From my experience I have found that MOST people will be honest. Who they are offline is exactly who they present themselves to be online. MOST people are aware of their shortcomings and will discuss them openly if they really want to start a relationship with you, because they don't want you to be surprised later. Fakes are pretty easy to spot. But that's actually beside the point. The point I want to make is that if you are truly seeking God's will, you don't have to fear the Internet. God uses the Internet to bring husbands and wives together every day. If you are truly seeking God's will, He WON'T let you stray away from what He has planned for you. When you meet someone online and it starts getting personal, you're going to get all kinds of negative comments. "Ohhhh that evil Internet, that's where all the liars and predators hang out," etc. No. There are more liars and predators in your backyard than you're likely to find on a Christian website (with the exception of this one, perhaps...). If you're praying and seeking God's will, and you feel in your heart of hearts that this is right, then it's right. Billy Joe Bob from Kentucky can't tell you who this girl really is, but God can. So don't listen to Billy Joe Bob. Listen to God.
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I met my current bf of 1.5 years online. We talked for about 2 months before we met and after the first couple of weeks, we would talk everyday for hours, if time permitted. I quickly saw that he was a great Christian guy and he held similar values to me. It was an amazing feeling. I can't say I fell in love with him online, but I definitely developed real feelings for him. We discussed everything from God to family to cars. I learned so much about him those first few months and I'm so thankful for that. When he asked to meet me for our first real date, I decided it would be a good idea and it was! We had the most amazing first date and I definitely knew something was different with him. My relationship with him has brought me closer to God. Now a year and a half later, we are planning to get engaged. So, my advice, if you get a chance to meet her, go for it. You'll never know what could come from this unless you do. And meeting her in person could strengthen those feelings for her.
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I
Inperfected
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Heh... i met my fiance online.. .sort of.
We'd met before then (we think) and then i got his addy of his then ex girlfriend, (who still thought they were soul mates)... talked online, talked on the phone, met, became best mates, and so on.
We'd met before then (we think) and then i got his addy of his then ex girlfriend, (who still thought they were soul mates)... talked online, talked on the phone, met, became best mates, and so on.
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BahBahBritty86
Well-Known Member
txlonestar said:
Yes, I think it is possible to love someone you've never met. Steve and I met in nearly the same way and talked/dated for 6 months before finally meeting face to face (we've now been together for almost a year and a half)! Meeting in person only reinforced my "suspicions" that I loved him. By the sounds of it, the two of you are going into this relationship with the right state of mind, and God is leading you. From an outsider looking in, it sure sounds like love (the way things just "feel right" for you two)! GOOD LUCK!!!!
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First, I want to thank everyone for their replies. I have another question. I've never actually been 'in love' with anyone. How do you know when you really love someone, and I mean more than a friend? I'm not saying I think that's where I am. After all, we've only been talking a couple months. It's more of a curiosity thing. I do feel the kind of love that Paul talks about. There's no doubt about that. This is a whole new thing for me. I'll be the first to admit I'm a little scared just because I don't know what's going on. But, at the same time, I'm enjoying every moment of it.
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BahBahBritty86
Well-Known Member
txlonestar said:
I don't really know how to explain it. For my personally it was just "this feeling" I had deep down inside. And then there were little things that asserted the feeling for me. For example, whenever Steve and I leave each other (we only see each other every 2-3 months for about a week or two) it hurts so much. No matter how hard I try to be strong and act happy when we leave, I cannot! It's not the "my dog just died" sort of hurt...it's just this feeling like something missings. In a way, it almost hurts physically. In my opinion, it was different than missing your mom when you go away to college (which I have experienced) or missing a friend...it was missing someone I truly cared about and am IN LOVE with. (I hope I'm not sounding like a huge, emotional cheeseball...there's just no other way to better explain it) I hope I am making sense!
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ahmunmun
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Don't trust your feelings.
Seriously, your heart could be very deceiving. Read Jeremiah which says something like "The heart is deceiving. Who can understand it?" What feels right could be completely wrong. How does your heart know what this person is like in real life? It doesn't. What I would do is ask God to take away these feelings if they're not from Him. See what happens. Good luck.
Seriously, your heart could be very deceiving. Read Jeremiah which says something like "The heart is deceiving. Who can understand it?" What feels right could be completely wrong. How does your heart know what this person is like in real life? It doesn't. What I would do is ask God to take away these feelings if they're not from Him. See what happens. Good luck.
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I
InTheFlame
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Eh? The kind of love Paul talks about isn't FELT. It's DONE. And if you're still in the butterfly-feelings-in-the-stomach phase, you CAN'T know if you have that sort of love for someone, because you have that sort of love (REAL love) when you;re having trouble feeling anything good towards them. A good way to tell if you're proficient in the love Paul talked about is to see how you're treating your family and friends right now - not your crush.txlonestar said:
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