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every time I find a boyfriend I am always finding the wrong men and I don't know what I done wrong to them please help me.
what am i doing wrong
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dgiharris
Old Crusty Vet
How can we help you if you don't give us any details? For instance, how old are you? Where do you meet guys? How old are the guys? What is the courtship process? Do meet meet them online? How often do you talk/write each other? What are your values? What are their values?
The hard truth is that it is human nature to want to be the innocent martyr. We like to throw up our hands and proclaim "Gee, I don't know what I'm doing wrong..." when the reality is we just aren't being honest with ourselves.
You can't take a grade A jerk and turn him into a decent boyfriend simply by being a nice girlfriend and nice person.
You can't take a guy who is only interested in sex and turn him into a caring boyfriend who will want to get to know you...
Without knowing ANY details about your situation, the best advice I could offer you is to judge people (including yourself) on actions and not words or intent. Actions don't lie. Words and feelings and emotions and intent and stories and excuses yada yada yada are all crap. But actions, actions are the truth.
Lets say there are two of you (think parallel universes). In both universes you are driving and your car breaks down at 1am in the morning on a rainy night.
In Universe 1A you call Jesse
In Universe 2B you call Pete
You tell both of them your problem and ask them if they can pick you up.
In Universe 1A Jesse says, "Okay, I'll be there in 30 minutes" and true to his word he arrives 30 minutes later and picks you up.
IN Universe 2B Pete tells you how much he loves you and values your friendship and that he will "try" to pick you up. He hangs up, hours pass by, you call him several times but your calls go straight to voicemail.
the next day Pete has this terrific excuse about how he was "trying" to pick you up but that he broke his phone and that his car wouldn't start and how he has night blindness and on and on and on with the excuses.
So who is the better friend?
Too often I find that girls put way too much stock into talk and feelings and intent and sob stories about how so-n-so meant to do such-n-such and didn't mean for XYZ to happen and are really really sorry.... blah blah blah...
However, actions don't lie. Judge people on their actions and what they do, not by what they say. Talk is cheap. actions don't lie.
The hard truth is that it is human nature to want to be the innocent martyr. We like to throw up our hands and proclaim "Gee, I don't know what I'm doing wrong..." when the reality is we just aren't being honest with ourselves.
You can't take a grade A jerk and turn him into a decent boyfriend simply by being a nice girlfriend and nice person.
You can't take a guy who is only interested in sex and turn him into a caring boyfriend who will want to get to know you...
Without knowing ANY details about your situation, the best advice I could offer you is to judge people (including yourself) on actions and not words or intent. Actions don't lie. Words and feelings and emotions and intent and stories and excuses yada yada yada are all crap. But actions, actions are the truth.
Lets say there are two of you (think parallel universes). In both universes you are driving and your car breaks down at 1am in the morning on a rainy night.
In Universe 1A you call Jesse
In Universe 2B you call Pete
You tell both of them your problem and ask them if they can pick you up.
In Universe 1A Jesse says, "Okay, I'll be there in 30 minutes" and true to his word he arrives 30 minutes later and picks you up.
IN Universe 2B Pete tells you how much he loves you and values your friendship and that he will "try" to pick you up. He hangs up, hours pass by, you call him several times but your calls go straight to voicemail.
the next day Pete has this terrific excuse about how he was "trying" to pick you up but that he broke his phone and that his car wouldn't start and how he has night blindness and on and on and on with the excuses.
So who is the better friend?
Too often I find that girls put way too much stock into talk and feelings and intent and sob stories about how so-n-so meant to do such-n-such and didn't mean for XYZ to happen and are really really sorry.... blah blah blah...
However, actions don't lie. Judge people on their actions and what they do, not by what they say. Talk is cheap. actions don't lie.
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Sir Robbins
Waiting for Fall
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- Nov 29, 2017
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Sick people attract sick people. If you are attracting the opposite of what you would like than its time for a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourself...
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