Ok, I know it sounds crazy and comical, but interesting nontheless:
1. Garden of Eden=planet Mars
2. God kicks out Adam and Eve to Earth, transports them there.
3. God is the collective consciousness of some kind of extraterrestrial or alien civilization who created us. (yes, God as in God all powerful)
4. Maybe the aliens created as their offspring to observe and make us continuation of them. We are in their image.
5. Maybe they use space ships for this. So Jesus was taken into the cloud which is spaceship.
6. They can give us superpowers if we're righteous and believing, they or he can enter us and control us?
7. Maybe Noah's Ark was a spaceship given to Noah who was righteous on Mars, and this ship brought us to Earth as life on Mars was destroyed?
Don't know what to say.
1. Garden of Eden=planet Mars
2. God kicks out Adam and Eve to Earth, transports them there.
3. God is the collective consciousness of some kind of extraterrestrial or alien civilization who created us. (yes, God as in God all powerful)
4. Maybe the aliens created as their offspring to observe and make us continuation of them. We are in their image.
5. Maybe they use space ships for this. So Jesus was taken into the cloud which is spaceship.
6. They can give us superpowers if we're righteous and believing, they or he can enter us and control us?
7. Maybe Noah's Ark was a spaceship given to Noah who was righteous on Mars, and this ship brought us to Earth as life on Mars was destroyed?
Don't know what to say.

Hopefully you are being facetious here, as facetious as I hope the OP is.